choublak

I work with a 20-year-old girl who has had some alcohol/drug problems in the past year, and whose mom is very controlling. They have trust issues and the girl sometimes borrows her mom's car, other nights her mom comes to pick her up. This particular night the girl had the car. It was me and her closing. I'm in charge of closing the final register, but I made a mistake on the calculator so I had to go back and correct it. As I'm doing this, the girl calls her younger sister (who's still in high school) on her cell phone and tells her she's going to be a few minutes late picking her up from band practice. The sister is pissed:

Sister (yelling): ARE YOU F-ING KIDDING ME?! WHY?!

Girl: There was a problem with the register.

Sister: HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE? THAT'S F-ING IMPOSSIBLE!

I think then my coworker yelled she would be there in a few minutes and hung up the phone. Then she says to me:

Girl: My sister is a little bitch.

She sounds like it, I think but don't say.

The girl goes to the front of the store. Her sister must have called their mother right away to rat her out because then I hear:

Girl: Mom I'm still in the store! Do you want me to take a picture of where I am?

They don't trust her with the car for whatever reason. Not my problem, but don't be yelling about how it's "f-ing impossible" for there to be problems with cash registers sometimes.

ByHisLove

They sound like one insanely funny dysfunctional family lol. Poor girl.

choublak

Without cell phones it would be unreasonable to even try and give that kind of heads up. Sister would just have to wait a bit and wonder.

dandylion

Choublak.....it sound's like you are taking it personally. While it might be human to "take it personally".......there are a lot...a LOT of dysfunctional people in this world....
Her actions say a lot about her...and, nothing about you.....
You can't control what every other person does, either....
Every person is different. The best we can do is to try to get along in this world the best we can as we look after our own welfare.....

choublak

It's not that I take it personally...it's that I was counting money and trying to concentrate with all that yelling around me.

dandylion

Choublak....that particular young lady, apparently, has some big issues within herself. She will have a hard time navigating this life, unless she get them sorted out.
You can wish her well....but, you can't straighten everybody that does wrong....

dandylion

Well.....like they say---***t happens! Mostly, we just have to learn to roll with the punches.....

choublak

Yesterday she threw a temper tantrum and got sent home by the manager.

Bekindalways

Sigh. Choublak, there are so so many messed up, hurting dysfunctional people out there. It is one of the hardest things for me to focus on my own cr@p; this is the only thing I have power over.

Could you let us know what you are doing for yourself? Are you eating right? Getting exercise? Do you attend an alanon meeting?

Hmmm . . . I may be a pot calling the kettle out here so I'm off to do some yoga and meditation . . . irk.

Berrybean

Chances are, if this girl has had drug issues, these could very well have contributed to the controlling behaviour of her family and the trust issues. She would be unusual if she has not told little fibs and strung out schedules past agree times in order to satisfy her habit. Frustrating for her now, no doubt, but our families act in strange and annoying ways when they are scared for those they love and feel responsible for.