Jtmlk

Well these days and todays day 7 sober i either sleep for 14 hours or dont sleep at all . Its nearly 5am here in the UK and ive had 2 hours sleep so far.
I know a lot of you fear for me going to pubs in these early sobriety days but i actually find it harder to go into pubs at 4 and 5 months sober, not sure why ?
I did meet my two friends and went for a pub lunch albeit in the restaurant side of the pub. Had a great lunch and then went to my local pub with the person who was drinking- it didnt bother me in the slightest not drinking however it did remind me what a complete ass alcohol makes people become.
Two people where arguing loudly about the biggest load of rubbish- one drunk bloke was berating his sober girlfriend and a good friend who only 2 years ago was an intelligent polite retired teacher and is now in the grips of alcoholism and looks and smells awful, was trying not to be sick- his no longer allowed to drink alcohol in the pub but is still allowed hot chocolate so at least people can see him and now he is still alive- it breaks my heart when i see him but also gives me motivation to not drink myself.
No one at the moment seems to give me a hard time for not drinking- im safe until march as people know i am starting training for a half marathon- but i think it might be tricky after that date and i need to give some thought on how to be stong enough in my sobriety at that time to continue.
Anyway enough ramblings - if they dont make sense its because im tired which means its sleep time- Good night/ morning

teaorcoffee

Hi JT - I think pubs are a problem for some and not for others. I've found it helps if I've decided in advance what to order and what I'll say.
Re: excuses - yeah people tend to leave you alone with the initial excuse, but can get more interested after that - my answer - oh I just decided to stick with it for a bit.
I have noticed how loud people get though.

Dee74

Maybe because fear is keeping you sober right now...and 5 or 6 months down the track the fear is gone and you're left with "euphoric recall"?

D

thenewguy

Please stay away from the pub. Why hang around with all that alcohol everywhere? What purpose could it possibly serve? The pub was my old drunk life; permanent sobriety is my new life. Thus, I don't go to pubs anymore.

Please stay away from the pub.

ozm8ey

Well for me pubs are a place to have dinner with your family on a special occasion. More like a restaurant pub but yeah

RedAndy

I'm another in the stay away camp mate - they hold no interest now - fact is for me if I wanted to succeed I had to leave my old lifestyle behind and that meant staying away from any form of temptation - nowadays I can't find any reason to bother with them at all - there's plenty of ways to socialise without it being centred around the pub - you've already highlighted a few months being an issue once the half marathon is out of the way and the last episode is a distant memory and as Dee points out all that's left is the euphoric recall, mates telling you that it's not a problem coz look you've stopped for a bit so you're fine - and it all starts again - went on for me like that for a long time until I realised I needed to change much more about me and my lifestyle - meant walking away from a lot of friends but the fact is they are still in the pub each week getting smashed and sniffing Coke etc - ive moved on as that was what was needed to put an end to the madness.

It "WAS" my life but you know what the new one I've made and continue to change for the better is a much more settled place, could I have done this staying around everyone and going in pubs etc - not a chance - at 13 months in I'd steer well clear of any temptation it's just not worth it.

I know each to their own but for me things like office Christmas parties are pointless nowadays - no fun watching everyone get bladdered and people questioning / offering you drinks / drugs - why put the pressure on - easier to just swerve it - let's be honest nothing is really ever different is it - it's the same old thing year in year out at Christmas parties, get bladdered and the pub is too - day in day out week in week out - make the change mate, find things to do away from that scene it'll be the best thing you can ever do.

Ooona

I wasnt a bar/pub drinker, in no way was I social with my drinking. I wanted to be alone with me, myself and I and my bottle (s) of wine. Behind closed doors, secretive, hiding, isolated with my own drunk ass and my obsessive thoughts.
That is MY trigger, too much time alone. Anytime I find myself in that situation, I gotta get busy, get up, get out, call someone, get out around people...

Knowing our triggers, being totally honest with ourselves is the key, The bar scene doesnt trigger me at all, because it wasnt my scene ya know? If it was your scene though, you would be smart to eliminate it for a while or at least minimize it as much as possible.

Dont play around with your addiction my friend. It'll let you think youve got a handle, its no problem, and then BAM, it'll sneak up on you and leave you thinking....what the hell just happened?