slightly O/T: divorce and book recommendation
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slightly O/T: divorce and book recommendation
Someone posted recently on SR about having difficulty leaving an alcoholic spouse because of his/her religious views about marriage. Leaving my STBXAH was made a little more difficult for me by my belief system too, not because I'm religious but because of the whole "in sickness and in health" bit.
I've been reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Committeed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage and found to my surprise that much of what I thought I knew about marriage and divorce is not historically accurate. Early Christians, for example, were adamantly opposed to marriage, and when, in 1215 the church took control of matrimony, it had everything to do with power and influence and nothing to do with the emotional well-being of people (64).
If you follow my posts, you know that in my case, it seems that both my STBXAH and I have gotten healthier since we gave up on our marriage. It wasn't the outcome that we wanted, but it's good to know that stepping out of what one might have thought was "right" can led to what one needs.
I've been reading Elizabeth Gilbert's Committeed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage and found to my surprise that much of what I thought I knew about marriage and divorce is not historically accurate. Early Christians, for example, were adamantly opposed to marriage, and when, in 1215 the church took control of matrimony, it had everything to do with power and influence and nothing to do with the emotional well-being of people (64).
If you follow my posts, you know that in my case, it seems that both my STBXAH and I have gotten healthier since we gave up on our marriage. It wasn't the outcome that we wanted, but it's good to know that stepping out of what one might have thought was "right" can led to what one needs.
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