Why would he think that?
Wife of ah
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Lewisburg
Posts: 1
Why would he think that?
Hi all, I'm new here. My husband is an (ex)prescription drug addict. He's been clean for 10 years.
He recently took up drinking, and because I'm an enabler, I went along with it. He quickly showed me and himself that he can't drink at all. A whole bunch of stuff happened.
Fast forward to me saying I was going to an AlAnon meeting. He got irritated and instantly jumped to me meeting someone who isn't an addict and leaving him.
Wth? Why would he knee jerk that idea? Ive never even lied to the man, let alone shown any reason why he'd think this.
I'm laying down for a nap, but will introduce myself better later, this has been irking me, though. Thanks!
He recently took up drinking, and because I'm an enabler, I went along with it. He quickly showed me and himself that he can't drink at all. A whole bunch of stuff happened.
Fast forward to me saying I was going to an AlAnon meeting. He got irritated and instantly jumped to me meeting someone who isn't an addict and leaving him.
Wth? Why would he knee jerk that idea? Ive never even lied to the man, let alone shown any reason why he'd think this.
I'm laying down for a nap, but will introduce myself better later, this has been irking me, though. Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
My opinion, somewhere deep down inside of himself he knows that if you go to al-anon and start to become healthy and STOP being an enabler, his life comfortably drinking may become uncomfortable for him. They all throw in the part about leaving them for someone else………..it’s part of the addict playbook.
At this point reason and logic have disappeared and he will use everything he possible can (manipulation, lying, deflection, blame) to keep his addiction alive.
Keep going to al-anon and I agree, no reason to announce it.
At this point reason and logic have disappeared and he will use everything he possible can (manipulation, lying, deflection, blame) to keep his addiction alive.
Keep going to al-anon and I agree, no reason to announce it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
he doesn't really believe you are out shopping for a new mate....however he probably DOES realize he isn't BEING a very good mate. so he's feeling sorry for himself, stewing in his own juices.
in "sick" systems, anytime one of the members of that system takes action to CHANGE and GET WELL (such as going to Alanon), the other members will employ CHANGE BACK tactics.....they will do and say anything to get that person back inside the sick system, and maintain the status quo.
no need to continue to announce where you are going. or even why. you go for you. same as if you went to get your hair done and check out books at the library.
in "sick" systems, anytime one of the members of that system takes action to CHANGE and GET WELL (such as going to Alanon), the other members will employ CHANGE BACK tactics.....they will do and say anything to get that person back inside the sick system, and maintain the status quo.
no need to continue to announce where you are going. or even why. you go for you. same as if you went to get your hair done and check out books at the library.
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