Scruffanie

Day 0

So the morning is here....and I am not doing my usual 'never again' empty monologue even though, yes, I did drink yesterday.

This morning I am feeling a shift inside me towards a future without alcohol dependence, mostly it is presenting as anxiety and fear, feeling like I am giving up a toxic friend, one who has been in my life a very long time and my fear is without this friend to hold my hand, what will I do?

BUT, despite all the fear, I am feeling much more determination and resolve than I have ever felt before and, through much reading, I am formulating a plan for my recovery.

If I do not feel I can succeed in going to this social event tonight, I have a backup plan of an AA meeting to attend. To be honest, I think I will attend this meeting regardless. I also plan to be honest with my friend about not going. Is this a good idea? They are a close and trusted friend.

Thank you to all who responded to my very first post yesterday, your words and encouragement have helped me immensely already.

Wherever you are, have a great day/evening.

Berrybean

Glad you're here and posting.

I'd give the social event a miss. I'd also give the explanations a miss as well. They're tiring and unnecessary, and in the early days it's one thing understanding why you want /need sobriety, but something quite different to explain it to someone who is a Normie. No matter how close they are, or how much they love you. It can wait a week or so.

I think your plan of hitting an AA meeting is a good one as well. The people there will need no explanations. Chances are they already understand you better than you understand yourself. Go meet your clan.

Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB

FarToGo

I like the sound of your internal shift, focus on it, make it count, nurture it, give it much more power than your addiction.
This is a very good place to keep you focused.
Lots of luck.
Xx

january161992

hi scruffanie

glad you posted

God bless

PurpleKnight

Hope you made it through Scruffanie!!