Relapse and Secrecy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 23
Relapse and Secrecy
Anyone else fall off the wagon rather often?
I've been watching myself fall off the wagon time and time again.
Personally, I'm noticing now that it likely is at least partially due to the secret nature of my
If I fall back off the wagon, who's there to see? Falling off feels good until you hit the ground, so to speak.
I suspect that this may be the case for others as well.
Maybe there are others who read this who realized that this is also them.
Happy sobriety.
7 days
I've been watching myself fall off the wagon time and time again.
Personally, I'm noticing now that it likely is at least partially due to the secret nature of my
If I fall back off the wagon, who's there to see? Falling off feels good until you hit the ground, so to speak.
I suspect that this may be the case for others as well.
Maybe there are others who read this who realized that this is also them.
Happy sobriety.
7 days
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Making yourself accountable might make it a little harder to relapse...but making a firm recovery plan, including finding support and using it, and making real life changes to support your desire to be sobe , ensures that not falling off the wagon ensues.
D
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 23
I'm writing this more to an audience than anyone individually
_
Ah, holding ourselves accountable.
All of us mean to do it.
Every single person on the planet, not just alcoholics (or drunks if you prefer).
Performing better at work, getting less road rage, eating better.
All of us want to stop doing things we don't want to do.
Most people relapse on these kinds of goals, all in different ways, but following the same pattern.
We get sick of our new ways.
The old way was better. The old way was good. If it wasn't good, why would we do it?
The very same temptations that have pushed us over the edge many times before will attempt to tempt us in the future.
They always do, unless we separate ourselves from them.
But to separate ourselves from them, we must know what they are.
That's easier said than done.
What is it that tempts you?
What can you do instead when it does tempt you?
Or even better, what can you do instead to avoid the temptation in the first place?
_
Ah, holding ourselves accountable.
All of us mean to do it.
Every single person on the planet, not just alcoholics (or drunks if you prefer).
Performing better at work, getting less road rage, eating better.
All of us want to stop doing things we don't want to do.
Most people relapse on these kinds of goals, all in different ways, but following the same pattern.
We get sick of our new ways.
The old way was better. The old way was good. If it wasn't good, why would we do it?
The very same temptations that have pushed us over the edge many times before will attempt to tempt us in the future.
They always do, unless we separate ourselves from them.
But to separate ourselves from them, we must know what they are.
That's easier said than done.
What is it that tempts you?
What can you do instead when it does tempt you?
Or even better, what can you do instead to avoid the temptation in the first place?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Congrats on 7 days! I am getting close to a year sober, after alternating between periods of sobriety and failed attempts at moderation for a few years.
For me, coming to SR daily to read and post has helped me to stay accountable, and also has been a great way to offer and receive advice.
You have been here for two years, but only have 20 posts. Maybe becoming more active on this forum will help you remain vigilant with your recovery. It has really helped me.
For me, coming to SR daily to read and post has helped me to stay accountable, and also has been a great way to offer and receive advice.
You have been here for two years, but only have 20 posts. Maybe becoming more active on this forum will help you remain vigilant with your recovery. It has really helped me.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 943
Yep I've been a serial relapser had so many many day 1's. I keep trying though, keep getting back up there. I've started trying new recovery tools though, going to an alcohol counsellor this time and feeling strong.
Peace X
Peace X
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Yep. Did that for years.
Eventually it wasn't able to be kept secret.
Jail, stumbling public blackouts, aggressive benders, drunk calling and Facebooking, incursions with police......
Don't worry.... if you choose to keep drinking, the secrecy will eventually come to an abrupt end.
Eventually it wasn't able to be kept secret.
Jail, stumbling public blackouts, aggressive benders, drunk calling and Facebooking, incursions with police......
Don't worry.... if you choose to keep drinking, the secrecy will eventually come to an abrupt end.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I kept my drinking and all those bad,
sick habits a secret for a number of
yrs until I received the gift of a program
of recovery taught to me and I began
to incorporate it into all my affairs and
that, didn't remain a secret any longer.
Relapse or slips can be avoidable if that
person is seeking help, knowledge of their
own addiction and applying a program of
recovery taught to them, following many
helpful suggestions and using them as a
guideline or stepping stones to remain
sober each and every day they are sober
or clean.
I, along with many who have found success
in recovery, all began with a single day sober,
trudging, learning, a few steps forward, some
steps back, to learn hard lessons, all the while
remaining sober.
No one ever has to return to the misery
that comes with drinking or drugging. Today,
can be a new day sober for many sober days
ahead of them.
Put the plug in the jug as we've heard so
many times before, learn about your addiction
and its affects on your own mind, body and soul,
then apply a recovery program which is the
solution to the problem of drinking or drugging
and move forward living a healthy, happy, honest
way of life ahead of you.
Help is always available so no one has
to go thru anything in life alone or by
themselves again.
I chose 26 yrs ago to remain sober
no matter what life thru at me and
hung on to dear life and other successful
members coat tails listening, learning,
absorbing and applying what was taught
to me, burning a few fingers in between,
but never letting go.
Temptation is always lurking around
every corner of life, however, with the
right tools learned in recovery, I know
how to avoid them which keeps me from
slipping or relapsing or getting my misery
refunded to me.
You can find success in recovery too
by adding one sober or clean day at a
time.
sick habits a secret for a number of
yrs until I received the gift of a program
of recovery taught to me and I began
to incorporate it into all my affairs and
that, didn't remain a secret any longer.
Relapse or slips can be avoidable if that
person is seeking help, knowledge of their
own addiction and applying a program of
recovery taught to them, following many
helpful suggestions and using them as a
guideline or stepping stones to remain
sober each and every day they are sober
or clean.
I, along with many who have found success
in recovery, all began with a single day sober,
trudging, learning, a few steps forward, some
steps back, to learn hard lessons, all the while
remaining sober.
No one ever has to return to the misery
that comes with drinking or drugging. Today,
can be a new day sober for many sober days
ahead of them.
Put the plug in the jug as we've heard so
many times before, learn about your addiction
and its affects on your own mind, body and soul,
then apply a recovery program which is the
solution to the problem of drinking or drugging
and move forward living a healthy, happy, honest
way of life ahead of you.
Help is always available so no one has
to go thru anything in life alone or by
themselves again.
I chose 26 yrs ago to remain sober
no matter what life thru at me and
hung on to dear life and other successful
members coat tails listening, learning,
absorbing and applying what was taught
to me, burning a few fingers in between,
but never letting go.
Temptation is always lurking around
every corner of life, however, with the
right tools learned in recovery, I know
how to avoid them which keeps me from
slipping or relapsing or getting my misery
refunded to me.
You can find success in recovery too
by adding one sober or clean day at a
time.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
There was a lot of secrecy when I was actively using and drinking. When I quit I had to harness my self integrity. No more sneakiness. No more saying "No one will know." No more dismissing my promise to quit. Integrity. To myself and to my recovery.
G-Woman
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Mississauga, ON
Posts: 979
I was caught in a seemingly endless cycle of secrecy, lying to cover-up, and then getting caught. The shame I'd feel over this behaviour was almost more than I could bear.
I realized that I wasn't just hurting my loved ones, but myself as well. No more secrets, no more lying. All the more motivation not to give myself something to lie about in the first place (drinking).
I realized that I wasn't just hurting my loved ones, but myself as well. No more secrets, no more lying. All the more motivation not to give myself something to lie about in the first place (drinking).
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
Rigorous honesty, with yourself and others, about everything, not just your using/drinking, goes a long way toward being able to kick the addiction once and for all. I lied about a lot of stuff, and it made me so ill internally to do that - drinking helped me feel better about myself temporarily, but led to even more lies. Coming clean about a lot of stuff really relieved me - just a good idea in general as it is part of cleaning up your act so that you don't feel as bad about yourself. At least this was my experience.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
The last 3-4 years of my drinking I was a weekend warrior. A strict weekend warrior, I never drank during the week. But for the last year, I can't even imagine how many times I told myself I was not going to drink on the weekend....and did. It wasn't until something serious happened to me and I got deadly serious about it that I was able to power through. I suspect its the same for serial relapser's.
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