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Am i an alcoholic? Really confused!

Old 12-05-2016, 11:24 PM
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Am i an alcoholic? Really confused!

Hello guys I have been here before but it was quite some time ago and i didn't really stay for long either. What has been bothering me for a good amount of time now is the question ' Am i an alcoholic?' Basically i am a 20 year old male, been drinking somewhat regularly since 16- ish mostly having them RTD's like Bourbon N Cola Jim Beams 5-6 % drinks, not really vodka/whiskey type of person nor can handle strong liquor really.

However i have noticed that for the past 1 year or so i've literally been drinking almost every day after i finish work, like i'd get home and sit outside having 3-4, 440ml cans of Bourbon and Coke, then i'll just chill out and sleep. Until now i wasn't thinking much of my habit since i've been in a foreign country for a few years now and i don't really have many friends to hang out with, so the only fun thing i know is drink bourbon, listen to some good music. However recently my parents have been making comments on my habits, expressing some concerns and i have started looking into it as well and been asking myself the above question but i am really confused and cannot answer myself.

Part of the reason why i cannot answer is because i do seem to quite enjoy getting a buzz, i been able to control the amount i drink and i don't really wake up in the morning with shakes or having any W/D symptoms in the morning or through out the day. Despite all this i still am confused, am i an alcoholic but just not realizing it yet? Or do i just have a bad habit of drinking? I suppose if you do something every single day it is somewhat of an addiction though.

Recently i went out to a pub, got absolutely trashed with friends and out of drunken anger broke my toe.To this day i didn't really worry or think much of my drinking but because my injury was caused due to drinking and the concerns my parents have been expressing has made me really depressed all of a sudden, i almost feel like i am on the verge to become an alcoholic and will end up just another drunk who probably dies from cirrhosis in their 40's..

All these thoughts are starting to get to me. All of a sudden i start getting worried about my health as well.I live quite the unhealthy lifestyle to be perfectly honest, eat junk food, drink daily, no exercise at all apart from work and it's already showing, for 1 year i've been slowly getting an ugly as beer gut for example.

Anywa, sorry i made this so long but i am super confused and cannot really think straight nor explain how i feel exactly.. I am sorry guys!
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Old 12-05-2016, 11:35 PM
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Hello V. Thanks for sharing your story. You have mentioned a few things. Drinking nightly alone and enjoying the buzz. You get depressed, are worried about your health, have noticed physical effects, have anxiety and are confused, your parents are concerned and you find it hard thinking about the alcohol stuff clearly.
Regardless of the term alcoholic- I suggest you seek the advice of your doctor. What you mention are certainly wake up calls. Before you know it- you will be 40.
Keep posting, PJ.
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Old 12-05-2016, 11:44 PM
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Hi and welcome v0da12

Have you tried not drinking at all for a decent period like 3-6 months? Like no drinking at all, regardless of social situations, problems, or moods?

I think that would help most people to decide whether they had an addiction or not.
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Old 12-06-2016, 12:20 AM
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Thanks for your post. In my opinion, it definitely seems like you have a substance abuse program due to the fact that drinking is impairing your life in various ways. Why not learn to live a sober life without having to worry about relying on drinking and then having to worry about its side effects? My guess is that sobriety will provide you with a much better, fulfilling life. Good luck!
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Old 12-06-2016, 12:26 AM
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Only you can really say weather you think it has gotten that bad. It's obviously causing you problems. What I CAN say from my own experience is a year before things started to really spiral out of control for me and I completely lost myself, I was doing exactly the same thing you are. In "control" for the most part, could have a few drink's then go to bed, almost every single day. Have the occasional drink too much night with the friends and black out and regret it. But the demon (alcohol) is never sated, and what will happen if you are anything like me, is that those few drinks will eventually snowball. Keep in mind I would only ever drink after work, and never during the day. That was me trying to rationalize irrational behavior on my end. I was in denial that wasn't in control, in my mind I had control I was just a "lush" who enjoyed drinking. I went from bring in control for the most part and drinking every night, to a point where I was unable to stop, it was scary how fast it happened. Obviously my suggestion would be to stop before it gets to that point for. Alcohol is a horrible poison anyways and life without is quite remarkable. You THINK alcohol is giving you something because you get addicted to the buzz but really it is numbing you from truly living your life.
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Old 12-06-2016, 12:26 AM
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Hi vOda.

What's good is that you are aware that your drinking is becoming habitual. And also that, when you drank too much, you acted in a way that you regret.

I think it would be a good idea to try and stop drinking for a good while and see how you feel. Don't give yourself a 'pass' because it's a special occasion or because you've had a bad day. No drinking at all.

This might help you decide whether you really have a problem with it.

My son is 23 and a while back I worried about his drinking. But he doesn't drink at all during the week now, and just drinks with his friends on a night out occasionally. He certainly had a few nights when his drinking was problematic though, but I now think it was just his age and he moved through it.

You mention that you've nothing to do in the evenings except drink and listen to music because you have few friends. Maybe this is an area to work on. Find people who share the same interests, and get to know them. To give up drinking, we all had to change our habits and routines.

Wishing you all the best.
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Old 12-06-2016, 12:57 AM
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Originally Posted by leighbond View Post
Only you can really say weather you think it has gotten that bad. It's obviously causing you problems. What I CAN say from my own experience is a year before things started to really spiral out of control for me and I completely lost myself, I was doing exactly the same thing you are. In "control" for the most part, could have a few drink's then go to bed, almost every single day. Have the occasional drink too much night with the friends and black out and regret it. But the demon (alcohol) is never sated, and what will happen if you are anything like me, is that those few drinks will eventually snowball. Keep in mind I would only ever drink after work, and never during the day. That was me trying to rationalize irrational behavior on my end. I was in denial that wasn't in control, in my mind I had control I was just a "lush" who enjoyed drinking. I went from bring in control for the most part and drinking every night, to a point where I was unable to stop, it was scary how fast it happened. Obviously my suggestion would be to stop before it gets to that point for. Alcohol is a horrible poison anyways and life without is quite remarkable. You THINK alcohol is giving you something because you get addicted to the buzz but really it is numbing you from truly living your life.
Your post makes so much sense..... This describes my situation perfectly seems like you went through the same relationship with alcohol but maybe not as young as me, actually thinking about this at my age makes me quite annoyed. I see all young people drink like crazy with no f*** given and here i am worried. Anyway i will definitely put a stop to this, i always justify my drinking by convincing myself is because i am bored but i will try stop completely before it get's to the point where i have no control over it.

I thank everybody for the support and taking the time to reply to this and help me out, i wish you guys all the very best
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Old 12-06-2016, 01:29 AM
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Hi Voda,
Welcome to SR. Maybe stop for a few weeks and see how it goes. Will you struggle? For me only when I tried to stop did I realise just how addicted and dependent I was
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Old 12-06-2016, 06:00 AM
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It really can spiral out of control quickly. For me, the labels don't matter. I have had people tell me recently they don't think I'm "really"an alcoholic. I don't care what they think. I just know that things were getting out of control, and I hated how I was feeling every day. Not just physically, but mentally. I tried to justify my drinking for years - telling myself it "wasn't that bad." And for a long time, it wasn't. But then it was - seemingly suddenly. But looking back, I can clearly see it was a progression. I started like you did, drinking almost every day, but was able to control it fairly well. But then later, I could not control it. If I started drinking on any given day, I could not stop. I was addicted. I wish I had listened to my gut that was telling me I had a problem before it got to that point. You are young - now would be a great time to give not drinking a try - don't be like me and wait until you are 51 to get a handle on it. So much wasted time drinking in my life.
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Old 12-06-2016, 06:12 AM
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Try not to drink for a couple days. See if your alcoholic voice starts screaming for some booze and see if you can still resist the temptation. You will find out pretty fast who is in control of your drinking if you can't control your AV. Then ask yourself...do I really want to be powerless over this substance for the rest of my life?!
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Old 12-06-2016, 06:12 AM
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Two simple questions.

Has liquor ceased to be a luxury?

And now become an nessessity?

A yes answer at the very least means -- we may have hit paydirt here.

Mountainmanbob
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Old 12-06-2016, 06:33 AM
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Originally Posted by v0da12 View Post
I see all young people drink like crazy with no f*** given ....
youre only seeing the young people you are focusing on.
not ALL young people are drinking and probably the majority aren't.

and its only your opinion that no **** is given.
those that are drinking like that are probably hurting,too.
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Old 12-06-2016, 07:01 AM
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Originally Posted by tomsteve View Post

and its only your opinion that no **** is given.
As this older sober drunk looks back on those drinking days and years where it seemed that drinking brought with it no consequences I really was not that surprised to learn later that there would be a great price to pay.

Not many heavy drinkers will escape with no impunity.

M-Bob
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Old 12-06-2016, 09:31 AM
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Maybe there is a better question than 'Am I an alcoholic?'. It might be more useful to ask, 'Is it a good idea to quit drinking?' If you are harming yourself by drinking and the things that are real and good are slipping from your grasp, then the answer should be clear to you.

The best question to ask is 'Am I ready to make a plan about continuing to use alcohol?'. I made my plan, my decision, and put all that misery in the past. Life is so much better sober. I recommend it.
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Old 12-06-2016, 09:33 AM
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Welcome to the Forum v0da!!
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Old 12-06-2016, 09:55 AM
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Hi everyone
I'm also a bit confused now. If you can go for 3 or 4 months without drinking does this mean that you are not an alcoholic? I binge about twice a month on a Friday or Saturday, black out, embarrass myself, injure myself, say things I don't mean, and give myself a 10 hour hangover where I am vomitting every 10 min. The next day I feel incredible guilt and shame. I swear not to do it again and again, but I do. It happens by mistake, I only mean to have a few drinks. So I was pretty convinced that I was an alcoholic. But then the voice of doubt says that I've stopped drinking for 4 months before. And I can have 1 drink and stop. I have to stop before I start enjoying it otherwise it turns into a blackout. Please would someone tell me if I'm an alcoholic. I'm scared of going to an AA meeting and having them laugh at me.
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Old 12-06-2016, 10:39 AM
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The only requirement for attending AA is a desire to stop drinking. There's no test to take and no one will ask you to prove you have a problem with alcohol. It's all about whether or not you want help quitting. In fact, you don't even have to say "I'm Rabbitgirl, and I'm am alcoholic" if you don't want to.

Here's the bottom line - do you think alcohol is causing you problems? Do you want to quit? Could you use some help doing it? If yes, you are "qualified" to be at AA. Hope this helps.
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Old 12-06-2016, 11:42 AM
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Any alcoholic can stop drinking. I did it hundreds of times. It is staying stopped that is the issue. For an alcoholic of my type it is really important to understand what the problem is in order to find a solution. You can't fix a car until you know what is wrong with it.

Alcoholism as I have experienced it is about loss of control and choice, nothing else. I was a binge drinker, which meant short periods of sobriety between drinking bouts. Drinking caused me problems which should have had me honestly looking at whether I should stop altogether, like the op is, but it never occurred to me until things got really bad.

When I drank I could not control the amount with any certainty. I usually lost control and would stay drinking for several days until too sick to continue. The inability to moderate is a symptom of alcoholism that does not occur in normal drinkers. Once alcohol was in my system, a powerful craving took over and drinking became paramount to all other things. I have lost jobs by refusing to stop drinking. I didn't want to lose the job, but at the time, stopping drinking was beyond my power.

Having had a few negative experiences you would think I would realize it was not good and stop, and I did that for a few hours or days at a time. But the memory faded. It proved to be an unreliable defense and often I would find myself on the third drink before realising that I wasn't going to drink that day. By then the craving had kicked in and off we go again.

If you are unable to control the amount you take, or if when you really want to you cannot stop altogether, you may be alcoholic.

You could pop along to aa and have a look. There is no need to join. AA meetings are open to alcoholics and people trying to work out if they are alcoholic or not. That might help you define what the problem is. I have known many people in your position who can just stop, when they make up their minds to. That would be the first thing to try. Good luck.
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Old 12-06-2016, 12:10 PM
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Originally Posted by v0da12 View Post
What has been bothering me for a good amount of time now is the question ' Am i an alcoholic?'
Has it been bothering you because you are legitimately concerned about where you are headed if you continue to drink as you do, or because you've taken to the idea that only alcoholics can't drink, and you don't actually want to give up the option of getting drunk whenever you really want to?

Originally Posted by v0da12 View Post
i am super confused and cannot really think straight nor explain how i feel exactly.
Confused, or ambivalent about continuing to drink? Does the idea of never ever drinking alcohol ever again feel really, really scary?

If so, you probably want someone to tell you if you can keep on drinking or not. The problem is that anyone can keep on drinking, provided that they are prepared to pay the piper, as you apparently are starting to. Know that the price of doing so will indeed go up over time, just as you presently suspect.

Since you are drinking heavily every day, and apparently really love the buzz you get from doing so, I would suggest abstaining for an entire year, without having one single drop of alcohol. That will give you a reasonably good idea of just how dependent you are on alcohol.

That will also give you a lot of free time to consider whether or not drinking is worth the inherent risk.
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Old 12-06-2016, 04:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Rabbitgirl View Post
Hi everyone
I'm also a bit confused now. If you can go for 3 or 4 months without drinking does this mean that you are not an alcoholic?
No I believe there are various manifestations of alcoholism rabbitgirl.

I started as a binger and ended up an all day everyday drinker.

In this case the original poster has been drinking almost every day, so (in my opinion) abstaining is likely to reveal if there's a problem or not..

Obviously abstaining for months is what some bingers can do anyway, so I wouldn't suggest that in those cases.

D
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