carlfardman

This first week wasn't all that bad.

I didn't feel the need to drink until Thursday as it took me till Tuesday to fully come around from last Saturday night when I got just wasted.

Last night and Friday we're tricky. I kept thinking about drinking like every 15 minutes, or so it felt like it anyway.

I was at the grocery store yesterday and I stopped at the alcohol section for a minute and seriously contemplated getting just a bottle of wine. I justified it as I worked hard all week and I had abstained all week as well. I deserved it! But then I thought about how dissapointed I'd be with myself before the bottle was even gone so I walked away.

When I got home I smoked little pot and lied on my floor listening to music, thinking about drinking as I was still tempted to walk across the street and get a bottle. I don't think it was so much the alcohol itself that tempted me but the ritual of opening a nice bottle of wine and climbing into my comfy bed for the night. I honestly thought hard about it again but made a firm decision that I will not drink tonight. After that I didn't think much about it the rest of the night.

I've been smoking weed on and off since I was 17 (36 now) and I never ever dabbled in harder drugs so I think smoking a little pot right now isn't the worst thing as it helps with anxiety. I've had bouts of anxiety long before I ever started drinking.

Anyway I'm some what proud of myself and I just wanted to share.

Thanks everyone!!!

SoberLeigh

I am happy to hear that you have been alcohol-free for a week, carlfardman. I know how difficult it is to reach that milestone.

I have never been a pot-smoker so I really can't speak to that.

Do you have a plan for sobriety?Here is a link to a fantastic SR thread that is well worth the read:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...highlight=psst

entropy1964

Hi Carl

Great job on day 8.

I know, for me, any kind of drug tends to increase my cravings for alcohol. Benzo's for example. Maybe not in the moment, like there is a direct link, but I've noticed this overall. I'm not sure if its because I'm still escaping the core issue (a sort of hole in my soul) or because I'm still 'driving' along that same dopamine neuropathway, but I have noticed this. Fortunately I don't really 'like' any other drugs beyond alcohol. I actually wish in some weird addict way that I did like pot. Maybe that'd be 'OK' with me....but I know, for me, its not.

PurpleKnight

Day 8 is fantastic Carlfardman!! Keep it going!!

teaorcoffee

Well done for 8 days carlfardman. At about a week into not drinking, everything seemed hard for me and I was craving, being really emotional, etc., etc. It got better quickly after that and by the time I had 2 weeks clear, it was much easier to walk past the wine aisle etc.
Hang in there, it's worth it.

Dee74

For me my inner addict took whatever it could get.

I was actually a pot smoker first, then turned to alcohol when I had to give up pot - soon my alcohol problem was as bad as my weed problem had been - and I was back smoking anyway cos being high/drunk makes bad ideas seem really good....

I smoked and drank for the same reasons - to escape, to self medicate my anxiety - but it actually made my anxiety worse.

All drinking or smoking did was push that anxiety aside for a while...it never dealt with it or healed it...

so soon I now not only had the original anxiety, but the added anxiety of craving to be stoned or drunk as well.

Pot and booze were just two different leaky boats on the same sea of crud for me.

I'd think carefully about what you're doing.
D

january161992

hi carl and welcome

D122y

Carl,

My bro quit drinking and has only smoked pot for 20 years or so.

Pot is a better drug to use.

Stay away from the booze.

It is poison.

Thanks.

ChloeRose63

I have never wanted sobriety as much as I do now. This time I am going to get support. Day 2 ( 28 hours sober). Yep, I am counting the hours until I feel better because every hour I take care of myself counts. I am trying not to bounce off the walls and relax. My head is anxious. I know it will only get better. I will never drink alcohol again. I promised myself to end this addiction once and for all. I have been a wine and beer drinker for 25 years. Been to detox and rehab many times. I drink to escape and feel less stress but, it doesn't do that anymore. It makes my life a living hell. I am not doing my body or mind any favors. My relationship is on edge. Time to repair the damage I have done. Booze is the Devil poisoning me!

D122y

My drunk buddy comes into work w his face busted up. ..his car rims curb checked out.

Being a 30 something drunk is a sad state. We got addicted and rationalized we were party animals...really we were pathetic degenerate drunks.

Now we know. That is half the battle.

red3215

You wrote: I don't think it was so much the alcohol itself that tempted me but the ritual of opening a nice bottle of wine and climbing into my comfy bed for the night.

Yes, you've caught on. It's not really alcohol you want but an illusion, a fantasy. Alcoholism is built on this fantasy that seems as real as if you could see it. Thankfully you recognized that before it was too late.

mayeve

This exactly for me. I can't do anything. Even smoke cigarettes. It all makes me want to drink.