sadsadgirl

Done it again. What is wrong with me? Each time it's getting worse and worse. I need to stop. I have to go back to AA. I can't do this anymore. I'm desperate

FreedomCA

If nothing seems to be working, then finding the time for a meeting may be best for you. It is difficult, I know. Don't give up. If the meetings don't help, perhaps look into inpatient rehab to help you.

sadsadgirl

Nothing is working for me. I think I need to get honest and humble. I am an alcoholic, I have the malady. I can't keep hurting people around me. My family are really upset and worried. Meetings will help, they have done in the past. I don't know how you all stay sober on here-why can't I do it? I'm really down in the dumps

abcowboy

No need to feel alone ssg, we've all said those very same words, most of us more than a few times. If you think meetings will help, then attend meetings, daily if you have to. Every morning when you get up, make a commitment to yourself to get through the day sober. Get a few phone numbers from sober friends, call them before you pick up that drink. Post here everyday, join one of the Classes, or the One Year and Under thread, commit to sobriety each day in the 24 Hour Recovery thread.

The reason those of us made it out of alcohell is that we finally accepted the fact that we had a problem and that we wanted to be sober more than we wanted to drink. It takes hard work and determination, but as the days add up, it gets easier and easier to say "no thanks, I don't drink". You can do this, one day at a time is how.

Mklove

Sad, congratulations on your fresh start. That's what it is, realizing you have the chance for a new beginning and taking that chance for yourself. I love the suggestions here, it does seem like you might benefit from an intensive recovery program just to get you on the track to recovery. It's in the first days/weeks that old patterns get altered and maybe getting out of the regular routine might help? All the best.

sadsadgirl

Thanks for the support folks. I can't go to an intensive recovery at the moment as everything is hectic in work. But committing to meetings will change up that routine. I know it's the routine that needs changing. Also working the steps will help to. I've reached out to some pals from AA. I feel so flat, I've lost all sparkle.

AnvilheadII

the foundation for recovery is committing to not drinking again, ever, under any circumstances, period. and then do whatever it takes to protect your sobriety.

get TO a meeting today. surrender and embrace the solution.

FreedomCA

Hi SG,
I think one of the reasons I have been able to stay sober is that I was introduced to the AA philosophy at 19, and I am now 36. I have been through the steps a few times and understand the program. I never lost that knowledge during my relapses, and so here I am again at Day 39. SR and reading the literature, as well as other spiritual books focused on combatting my character defects, are enough to help me stay sober at the time.

least

I hope this can be your last day one.

tomsteve

I found the saying

nothing changes if nothing changes

true for me

MrPL

Hi ssg,

I am sorry you are feeling this way, but there is a way out.

I am with Tom in this one, something has to change, so try something different, be it meetings, therapy, lifestyle change, I promise there is something out there that will work for you.

We are always here for you.

P

Hevyn

Sadsadgirl - I'm so sorry for the pain you're in. I did the same thing many times. We have to be truly ready to do this - and it sounds like you're disgusted. I had to reach that point too. I hope this is where things will change for you. We know you can do it.

PhoenixJ

SSG- you have support at SR. It really is up to you.

sadsadgirl

Anxiety central this morning when I woke up. Reading on here has helped me a bit. I'm going to go to a lunch time meeting. I feel like it's time. Extremely nervous

5upersonic

Its not unusual to relapse, but neither is recovery. You can do this.

sadsadgirl

Thanks Supersonic. I'm hoping I got a bad impression of AA from first going. I had a sponsor who couldn't really be there for me cos she had loads going on. She ended up relapsing so I'm not sure I learnt the best lessons from her.

ReadyAtLast

Congrats on day 2 sadgirl. Have a good day

bexxed

ssg it's good to see you back. I hope you go to the meeting, and keep posting here. We've got you and you've got this.

B

Dee74

Day 2 and a lunchtime meeting sound like a great start sadsadgirl

sadsadgirl

Thanks Dee and bexxed! Just off for a quick walk pre meeting. Get the blood pumping! Really looking forward to going back now. Feels like a change, a change I need.