Leaning into fear and being uncomfortable
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Join Date: Jul 2016
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Leaning into fear and being uncomfortable
Hey everyone! I am learning just how much drinking can keep us from doing hard things and we like to stay in our cacoon of what is normal and comfortable. After drinking 15 years I never learned how to face my fears and I was always running and hiding in a bottle. I did something the other day that was really hard for me. I was too scared to tell my best friend I wanted to stop drinking and am going to AA so what did I do? I avoided her except for at work for 5 months. I felt bad and it was eating at me so I finally went to lunch and was completely honest. She was my main drinking buddy but she loves me and I know she would want me to be happy. It was like a huge piece of the puzzle fitting into place and now I don't have to hide. I felt like I was going to pass out! I have to get over the shame of this disease. I thought it might be nice to hear other people's fears they over came while getting sober
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
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Hey, Linz. I was very ashamed of myself when I first stopped drinking. I felt like a big fat failure at life. How could I have let myself become a drunk? I told very few people, close family and my best friend, that I was no longer drinking. It's been 3 years, and I don't feel that way anymore. I don't go out of my way to tell people that I don't drink and why. But if it comes up, it comes up. Good luck. Sober is better.
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Yes my close family knows and she is the closest friend I have. It wasn't one of those things I could just be like oh I don't drink anymore. She knows me all to well. I don't plan on telling people that don't really need to know. I was just so relieved!
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
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Learning who I was as Sober me . . . that was pretty scary, I only had known for years drunk me, and now I was going to feel everything in real time, thoughts, emotions, feelings and fears, in the cold light of day who was I again and would I be able to handle not being able to escape or disappear and run from it inside a bottle anymore, would I even like or learn to like Sober me?
But you're right, every time we do something and push ourselves it's like another piece of the puzzle falling into place, at first my jigsaw was very empty, then I pieced the sides and the corners together, started to work on the the things I could see, the pieces with similar colours, the pieces that connected to the sides, and gradually the picture gradually came together, working closer and closer to the centre as time has passed.
Each time we put a piece of the puzzle on the table, the picture slowly starts to come more and more into focus!!
But you're right, every time we do something and push ourselves it's like another piece of the puzzle falling into place, at first my jigsaw was very empty, then I pieced the sides and the corners together, started to work on the the things I could see, the pieces with similar colours, the pieces that connected to the sides, and gradually the picture gradually came together, working closer and closer to the centre as time has passed.
Each time we put a piece of the puzzle on the table, the picture slowly starts to come more and more into focus!!
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Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 411
I've just recently realized how much shame is a dominant emotion for me, not just the shame over drinking, but just in feeling generally worthless. I've begun to really notice the way I talk to myself, and am trying to change this. As a result I find myself hiding from people in various ways, hiding parts of myself for fear of ridicule or rejection. It's pretty exhausting doing this. I'm tired of it, but it's probably been a habit since I was very young, so....
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Yeah I have a hard time letting people in for fear of rejection or being judged. I'm very closed off and that's why it baffles me I sit in AA meetings being opened. I think everyone goes thru rough times and we need more honesty and realness in the world. Keeping my my struggle to myself may prevent someone else from getting help so I'm trying to be more open and maybe it will help someone else!
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: San Antonio
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Originally Posted by PurpleKnight 
But you're right, every time we do something and push ourselves it's like another piece of the puzzle falling into place, at first my jigsaw was very empty, then I pieced the sides and the corners together, started to work on the the things I could see, the pieces with similar colours, the pieces that connected to the sides, and gradually the picture gradually came together, working closer and closer to the centre as time has passed.
Each time we put a piece of the puzzle on the table, the picture slowly starts to come more and more into focus!!
Each time we put a piece of the puzzle on the table, the picture slowly starts to come more and more into focus!!
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 409
Originally Posted by PurpleKnight
Learning who I was as Sober me . . . that was pretty scary, I only had known for years drunk me, and now I was going to feel everything in real time, thoughts, emotions, feelings and fears, in the cold light of day who was I again and would I be able to handle not being able to escape or disappear and run from it inside a bottle anymore, would I even like or learn to like Sober me?
But you're right, every time we do something and push ourselves it's like another piece of the puzzle falling into place, at first my jigsaw was very empty, then I pieced the sides and the corners together, started to work on the the things I could see, the pieces with similar colours, the pieces that connected to the sides, and gradually the picture gradually came together, working closer and closer to the centre as time has passed.
Each time we put a piece of the puzzle on the table, the picture slowly starts to come more and more into focus!!
But you're right, every time we do something and push ourselves it's like another piece of the puzzle falling into place, at first my jigsaw was very empty, then I pieced the sides and the corners together, started to work on the the things I could see, the pieces with similar colours, the pieces that connected to the sides, and gradually the picture gradually came together, working closer and closer to the centre as time has passed.
Each time we put a piece of the puzzle on the table, the picture slowly starts to come more and more into focus!!
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Join Date: Jul 2016
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Originally Posted by ZenLifter
I've just recently realized how much shame is a dominant emotion for me, not just the shame over drinking, but just in feeling generally worthless. I've begun to really notice the way I talk to myself, and am trying to change this. As a result I find myself hiding from people in various ways, hiding parts of myself for fear of ridicule or rejection. It's pretty exhausting doing this. I'm tired of it, but it's probably been a habit since I was very young, so....
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
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I didn't tell anyone other than my husband in the beginning, and he didn't really react since he had heard me say "I'm not going to drink anymore." On numerous occasions. As the months passed he realized I was serious this time. Over the past 11 months I have told a few close friends. Two of them have also stopped drinking, both have about three months sober now. They said I inspired them, which was a really nice thing to hear.
You can do this!
You can do this!
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Originally Posted by Delilah1
I didn't tell anyone other than my husband in the beginning, and he didn't really react since he had heard me say "I'm not going to drink anymore." On numerous occasions. As the months passed he realized I was serious this time. Over the past 11 months I have told a few close friends. Two of them have also stopped drinking, both have about three months sober now. They said I inspired them, which was a really nice thing to hear.
You can do this!
You can do this!
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