Eleven months today...what a difference...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Eleven months today...what a difference...
I am just back from an emotionally and physically demanding trip several states away dealing with my rapidly aging (and often difficult and triggering) parents and convincing them finally to move to assisted living.
I got very little sleep or exercise for 8 days, had to drive them for hours in big city traffic (which I hate), didn't eat well, and needed to be constantly vigilant to their behaviors and needs while also being endlessly patient, entertaining, and sensitive, but persuasive. Utterly exhausting...especially as I'm a complete introvert and people I'm not related to wear me out, let alone my family.
But here's the thing...I survived. I handled it. And as tired as I was, I didn't flip out or panic at any point.
There is no way I could have handled this if I were still drinking. None.
I looked in the mirror last night after I finally got home after two flights and a three-hour drive home and I didn't see a wreck. I looked tired, but I looked...capable. Calm, even.
Wow.
I got very little sleep or exercise for 8 days, had to drive them for hours in big city traffic (which I hate), didn't eat well, and needed to be constantly vigilant to their behaviors and needs while also being endlessly patient, entertaining, and sensitive, but persuasive. Utterly exhausting...especially as I'm a complete introvert and people I'm not related to wear me out, let alone my family.
But here's the thing...I survived. I handled it. And as tired as I was, I didn't flip out or panic at any point.
There is no way I could have handled this if I were still drinking. None.
I looked in the mirror last night after I finally got home after two flights and a three-hour drive home and I didn't see a wreck. I looked tired, but I looked...capable. Calm, even.
Wow.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
ARIES!!! Thank you for sharing- I LOVE this story!!
So well done. I haven't had quite the same situation with my parents but can greatly empathize with that looking in the mirror "positive post-mortem" - how wonderful is it?! It made me proud and meant a lot when my bf turned to me after our Thgvg day with my family and said "well, there was some tension, but none of it came from you or kept on because of you." Never could do that when I was drinking.
Thanks for sharing such a positive experience. And great job on 11 months!
So well done. I haven't had quite the same situation with my parents but can greatly empathize with that looking in the mirror "positive post-mortem" - how wonderful is it?! It made me proud and meant a lot when my bf turned to me after our Thgvg day with my family and said "well, there was some tension, but none of it came from you or kept on because of you." Never could do that when I was drinking.
Thanks for sharing such a positive experience. And great job on 11 months!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,518
That's fabulous news, Aries. For years I thought alcohol was helping me cope. It just made me more anxious. I'm much calmer and in control without it. Glad to hear you're doing well. 
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,850
Originally Posted by Ariesagain 
I am just back from an emotionally and physically demanding trip several states away dealing with my rapidly aging (and often difficult and triggering) parents and convincing them finally to move to assisted living.
I got very little sleep or exercise for 8 days, had to drive them for hours in big city traffic (which I hate), didn't eat well, and needed to be constantly vigilant to their behaviors and needs while also being endlessly patient, entertaining, and sensitive, but persuasive. Utterly exhausting...especially as I'm a complete introvert and people I'm not related to wear me out, let alone my family.
But here's the thing...I survived. I handled it. And as tired as I was, I didn't flip out or panic at any point.
There is no way I could have handled this if I were still drinking. None.
I looked in the mirror last night after I finally got home after two flights and a three-hour drive home and I didn't see a wreck. I looked tired, but I looked...capable. Calm, even.
Wow.
I got very little sleep or exercise for 8 days, had to drive them for hours in big city traffic (which I hate), didn't eat well, and needed to be constantly vigilant to their behaviors and needs while also being endlessly patient, entertaining, and sensitive, but persuasive. Utterly exhausting...especially as I'm a complete introvert and people I'm not related to wear me out, let alone my family.
But here's the thing...I survived. I handled it. And as tired as I was, I didn't flip out or panic at any point.
There is no way I could have handled this if I were still drinking. None.
I looked in the mirror last night after I finally got home after two flights and a three-hour drive home and I didn't see a wreck. I looked tired, but I looked...capable. Calm, even.
Wow.
Hope that your parents know happiness in their new surroundings.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,806
Congratulations on 11 months! I had a similar trip to see my aging, ill father in August. I dreaded it, but you know what? It wasn't so bad. I was so afraid I'd want to drink, because in the past, I certainly would have, because I thought I "needed" booze to cope with the cantankerous old poophead. It was challenging but I did it and didn't lose my cool. Isn't it amazing when you discover these gifts of sobriety?
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