zoso77

Before I share with you some personal news, I'd like to say something regarding the holidays, which can be a very difficult time of year for so many of us. We, as the loved ones (or in my case, an erstwhile loved one) of addicts, carry a burden that can and does feel too much to bear. What I've found helps is accepting that the holidays are coming whether we like it or not, and as this is true, we can do little things to make them a little less sucky. It can be as simple as preparing a nice meal for yourself that's out of the ordinary. Or it can be spending time with a dear friend. As long as you do something to make things a little bit more tolerable, you'll get in and out of the holidays in one piece, which is the goal.

And I say this as someone who until recently had deep hatred of this time of year for a myriad of reasons.

So, do what you have to do to get through it. And when you're struggling, post here, or find a meeting just to be with people. You'll be OK. Trust me on this.

With that out of the way...

As some of you may remember, my family recently sold the family home. Barring some black swan event, the buyer is supposed to have his financing in place by tomorrow and we close in two weeks. Per the wishes of my late mother, my undergrad student loans are being paid off first thing, and when those are paid, I'll be debt free and have a nice chunk of change.

And what am I going to do with some of it?

I just bought an engagement ring for my girlfriend.

Yes, I bought an engagement ring for my girlfriend.

When we went into the summer, we jokingly said to each other that if we didn't kill each other, we'd talk about our future. And once we got through summer, we realized that we weren't going to kill each other and that we wanted to be together for the rest of our lives. So there's no mystery as to whether she's going to say yes when I pop the question. But I am looking forward to seeing her face when I slip a 0.74 carat solitaire on her finger. In fact, I can't wait.

< Snark mode on >

And I'd like to thank my AXGF for making all of this possible...the completion of my MS in electrical engineering, the various raises, awards and promotions, and the gift of clarity and sanity...I owe it all to her...

< Snark mode off >

I never, in a million years, thought I'd be in this position. And yet, I am. Damn...

dandylion

Dearest zozo....Congratulations! You deserve some of the good stuff.....and, this is good stuff!

SoberLeigh

Congrats, zoso!!!!!

May you share a wonderful and healthy life together.

suki44883

How wonderful! Congratulations to both of you! May you have many, many years of joy and happiness.

Sunshine1234

Yippeee! Such great news!! Congrats Zoso😃

Mklove

Zozo, all snarkiness aside you did learn a lot from that relationship -what you don't want in your life! Congratulations, how exciting, can't wait to hear how it goes down, the proposal. Most importantly you have the solid foundation of a relationship that has proven some tests of time....not long time that older people like we have (29 years of marital bliss) but young strong love....nice!

atalose

That is wonderful news Zozo. I am so happy for you!!

Congratulations!!!!

PuzzledHeart

Congratulations! I read that subject line and thought "I bet that he's going to announce that..."

When it's right, it's right.

Seren

From the "He-man woman haters club" to engaged!!!

Oh, Zoso, all kidding aside, I am just so happy for you!

Eauchiche

Ann

Congratulations, Zoso, I am so happy for you and your fiance-to-be is a very lucky gal.

Take heart that Mr. Ann and I have considered killing each other a few times over the years, but dang, we have a rule...no name calling, no hitting...ever! So instead we have been married 47 years.

As an old married gal my advice to the newlyweds is always "The first 25 years are the hardest, the rest is just fun and glory!"

May you live happily ever after, dear Zoso.

cece1960

Great news Zoso ( I saw that coming a mile away ) Enjoy the holidays with your lady love!

zoso77

I think the experience with my AXGF gave me an appreciation for how flawed we all are to one degree or another. And what's important is that we recognize those flaws and work on them such that we're healthier in the long run. That takes work. My AXGF never wanted to do that. She was (and is) all pleasure center and doesn't accept responsibility for herself. She never will, either...

Thank you for your kind words.

zoso77

Yes, and this is very, very right.

zoso77

There's a song by Extreme called "He-Man Woman Hater". I think 5 years ago, that would have been appropriate. These days...not so much.

zoso77

We've never raised a voice with each other. We've never called each other names. That's not to say we haven't been irritated with each other. But when we're in that place, we very calmly talk it out and resolve things when we can. If we can't, we table it and discuss it later. It's amazing what self awareness can do for a relationship. I don't think I've acted with this much restraint at any point in my life. And that's a gift...

zoso77

Man, life is strange. A year ago, neither one of us saw this coming. And now, we are where we are. It's mind blowing if you think about it...

Seren

My reference predates that a bit...Our Gang television show

Enjoy it all, Zoso!

Ilovemysonjj

EXCELLENT NEWS!!!!!!! Congratulations Zoso! I am in the "old timer club" with almost 27 years under the belt. The key is always forgiveness, compassion and patience! I know you will have a wonderful life with your wife and hope to hear in the future little zoso stories LOL!.
Also, thank you for that message on the holidays. It was TOUGH on Thanksgiving dealing with the lack of JJ's presence. I am still hanging in there!
TT

Whitewingeddove

So very happy for you!