Janedoe13

I have never found a needle although he advised me he could get them anywhere. He said he only shot up 3 times but upon inspection of his arms and hands I found at least 8 spots. He said he would quit. I gave him another chance. When I approached him with a drug test about a week later he refused to take it so I told him to leave. Now I'm wondering how long it has been going on. Can anyone give me some things that I can look back on and didn't notice? Btw he has also been doing kratom for about 6 months which I was not ok with, but he snuck it. I have never been around anyone on heroin in my life before this.

Sephra

The signs I've seen of heroin use...
nodding off, slower, sleepy, hard to talk to cause it's like its just not getting through... withdrawals ... lots of sleeping, not feeling well, cold flu symptoms.
Do some research and learn all you can. Knowledge helps. Also lots of addicts shoot up in places hidden, between toes, etc, so looking for tracks in the usual places (arms) doesn't always show the whole pic.
Unfortunately I know a few people with heroin problems. None of them started out with shooting up. (most started with smoking it and moved up, so the use he's admitted may be, well I only injected x times, you didn't ask about me smoking it...)
Unfortunately, I do not know of any one who has been able to use heroin in a recreation way with out it wrecking their life.
Sorry you are going through this. It is better to know than not.

Incontrol15

Welcome and sorry you're having this experience.

I have not done heroin, so I cannot answer specifically. But I am an addict.

You may never know the answer to that question honestly. Addicts are very good at hiding. I would also have to assume there was opiate use before heroin. Maybe not. I just personally have a hard time believing many people would shoot that up as their first opiate. Heroin is something you normally have to work up to.

I would go under the assumption that he's been hiding and lying for years. If you think back to how long you've known him and can out a finger on a personality or behavior change, that might help. Be prepared to go back several years.

Look for what you perceive as positive changes as well as negative. Are you aware of what nodding is? It's like those times when you're super sleepy, can't keep your eyes open, and your head nods. We all experience that at times, but not all that often.

Did he stay up at night? Did he play video games or poker online, etc, late into the night? If so, if you think back to how long ago that started, you may have an idea. Not necessarily extremely telling. But if that habit suddenly started a couple years ago or more, might very well be related.

Also...
All those times he was sick and couldn't get out of bed? Might have been withdrawals or hangover. Or wild mood swings with deep depression coming out of nowhere. Wanting to isolate himself and not talkative at all. Maybe easily starts a fight to push you away.

At the end of the day though, what you have is an addict spouse. There's going to be many questions you wish to be answered that may never be.

Seeing a therapist will help you deal with this in a healthy manner. And perhaps if he wants to come back, he can seek therapy. Partnering with a drug therapist will help you make the right moves as well. What you do and how you do it can make a difference.

This is something you are not trained for and will not have the answers to. It will help tremendously to see someone. First and foremost, it will help YOU.

rcutch

My AH has been addicted since the age of 13 and heroin joined our lives about 4 years ago, following an addiction to prescription drugs. First, I am sorry that you are going through this. You will continue to be in my prayers. Second, you will not need to look for signs - listen to your gut. It is hard at first because you don't want to believe it, but the reality is that if you think he's using, then he probably is.

Some clear heroin signs, pupils are pinpoints regardless of the amount of light. Stares off into space - you can be talking to the addict and feel like they are looking directly thru you. Coming off heroin causes leg cramps, nausea, sleeping, sweating, etc

Please remember that this horrible habit has NOTHING to do with you, and his lies aren't a reflection of you, they are what an addict does to achieve their high. Nothing is more important. Please take care of yourself.

teatreeoil007

Hi.

You may see a variety of things with heroin use. I've never used it myself, but have seen heroin addicts. Heroin, like any other opiate can cause people to "nod off" or be spacey, drowsy. But there is another side to opiates that a lot of people don't know about. And that is: sometimes they "amp" people up. They are high, they are euphoric, they are up.

Their speech may be slurred...or, when they talk they may not be making as much sense as they usually do.

Now: The stimulants like meth and cocaine amp people up for sure, but you don't see the pupil constriction. When someone is super high on opiates, if you look into their eyes, they have constricted pupils.

There might be missing money. Of course needle marks like you've already said. Some people are able to hide needle marks by shooting up right where there is a tattoo.

Mood swings. That's sometimes the first thing you will notice with addicts of any drug.Especially if you live or work with someone. Sometimes they are just really really "up" and super happy and then other times they are a complete grouch. We are all entitled to various moods, but pay attention to it and note if there is a pattern.

Another thing about hard core addicts: They are often thin. Opiates are an appetite supressant. Some models are into to it to keep themselves thin.

Please don't kick yourself for not picking up on these things. None of it is your fault either. Sorry for what you're going through.

Nelly1

I totally agree with the amped up part. It was so hard in the beginning to wrap my brain around my fiances heroin use because he rarely looked out of it!!! Heroin made him feel on top of the world and put him in the best moods! I came to understand what was going on and knew the instant I looked at him or spoke to him on the phone that he was high. He was only zoned out and out of it when he wasn't using because he would be so "depressed" if he was sober... the instant he used again... he was happily high as a kite! Dancing around the house, cleaning, ect. The only indication of heroin use was when he would look at his phone, his eyes were so heavy and that's when he would begin to "nod" in a sense.... he was never really the nodding out type. Sick I know... I would say pay close attention to his eyes. Obviously they will be pinned but heaviness and redness are how I always knew.... he caught on to this quick and would try to open his eyes huge whenever I looked at him.. exaggerating the fact that they weren't droopy. I'm sorry your going through this, it's hell on earth. Know you are not alone xoxo

Pillow

I'm so sorry you are going through this.
My husband is a heroin smoker. He would be nodding off somedays and super hyper other days. Its a hard road to be on, don't beat yourself up about it.
Him promising to stop does not mean he will. If he is injecting heroin, he is likely in full blown active addiction. Trust your gut always.

Praying for you. Be strong.

hope778

AH is a recovering heroin addict. That became his drug of choice. He started with taking pain pills, then snorting pills, then snorting heroin, then IV heroin. Common progression.... By the time I found out about my husbands heroin addiction, it was further along than he or I were ready to admit. A lot of times they aren't ready to be honest about how far along they are. I.e. He says he's done it only 3 times so far. We hope so, but prepare yourself for that to not be true.

My husband exhibted much of the signs talked about in previous posts. Nodding off (although he was good at hiding this), sleeping in all morning... then giving any excuse to have to leave the house (really he was just dope sick and needing to get a fix), emotionally unstable at times that it did not seem to make rational sense (again, dope sick, or stressed about owing someone money, etc.), money went missing, things went missing, he was always missing. His mind always seemed elsewhere. He never seemed present. If your husband is in fact early into his habit you may not have noticed these things yet, but they will come if it continues.

I would advise you to set boundaries that include him receiving treatment. It must be his primary focus. No excuses. We are here for you and have all walked in your shoes and have felt the whole gamet of emotions you are feeling.. hang in there.