timestable

hi there,
I'm new to the world of recovery and seeking some advice. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. He had been on oxy/heroin for 4 years, and went through a drug program at least 2 years prior to us getting together. He has now been on suboxone for about 6 years, and has done a good deal of growing in this time--graduated college, started a carpentry business, and we have built a (little) home and life together. A couple of months ago, I found a syringe in our bathroom. I gently confronted him with my finding, and was told that he sometimes injects his suboxone. And by sometimes, I mean off and on in times of stress for the duration of our relationship, and for 3 months straight prior to my discovery. It's tough to explain the hows and whys this particular behavior has manifested. Bottom line, the self-sabatoge that comes with drug abuse is not behind us. This behavior is a remnant of him not feeling good enough, loved enough, and he is still taking it out on himself. We cried together, discussed his needing further help and then got swept up in our busy lives. Re: we avoided talking about it, while I waited and waited for a recovery plan to be brought up by him while my resentment slowly grew when it didn't.

Now, months later, I have committed to continuing the discussion. He admits that addiction is still affecting him, his growth in life, and our relationship. Last night (mere days later), I found another stash of needles in the bathroom while cleaning it. Suspecting he was nervous I had found them, I searched his face when I left the bathroom. Intuition tells me the worry I saw on his face was related. I confronted him yet again, and he said those needles were from before, that he had forgotten they were there. I want to believe him (he is quite scatter brained), but the intuition strikes me just the same.

He has monthly Dr. apts for his suboxone, where drug tests are randomly administered, albeit few and far between (he has built up trust and report with the facility). Can I trust that he is simply injecting suboxone? It is a strange behavior, and surely an indication that further healing needs to take place.

I am in therapy, working on my own emotional development and now talking through my contribution to this relationship and how I can be supportive of him, myself, and our relationship. I know the change must come from him. I'm sure further boundaries need to be set. I want things to change, for him to prioritize his recovery. But I know it must come from him.

Seeking support, empathy, and advice on where to go from here.

Marcus

Welcome. I think the simple answer to the question can you trust that he is simply injecting suboxone is ABSOLUTELY NOT. I think of greater concern is why would injecting suboxone be somehow okay? It is much more than just strange behavior. Regardless of what he is shooting and people do inject suboxone (done it myself) the behavior itself would throw up massive red flags for me. Sneaking and lying usually breeds more sneaking and lying and trust is next to impossible under those circumstances.

It is not your job to play detective. I definitely don't recommend it. It will make you crazy. Maybe not as much recovery has gone on for him as you thought or there is some serious backsliding happening. Injecting suboxone or even taking more than prescribed IS active addiction for me. I would just pay attention to his actions and not his words. Is he truly doing anything for his recovery and being honest and open with you? Take Care :-)

ByHisLove

Is he on suboxone or subutex? I thought you couldn't shoot suboxone because of the naloxone?

Marcus

We don't want to give anyone ideas, but there are probably several threads here and lots of information elsewhere regarding this and Buprenorphine's higher binding affinity than Naloxone (making it an ineffective deterrent). People do that is all that really needs to be said.