Hammers

Hi,

I would like some advice and urgently please. I joined here
in the spring of 2016. Tried to stop and failed many times.

I am an alcoholic and admit to being one. I am nearly 50
and have been like this since I was in my early twenties

I was a head chef in a restaurant, I lost my job at the end
of September, not necessarily due to alcohol, but I lost my job
all the same. I spent a month drunk after, not eating etc etc etc.
You’s all know the score.

I live in Switzerland, a country of small villages and small
minds.

So I moved towns where I am unknown. I am lucky enough
to also be a qualified precision engineer. Talents I earned
during The Gulf War.

I have just been offered a full time, well paid job in the
Swiss Medical Engineering Sector. I start on December
the 5th . In a large, welcoming company. I have not taken
a drink in four days and I doubt I will before I start work
again because I have an oppourtunity.

I have been given a lifeline but how the do I do it
and keep things all together before I buy a bottle of Scotch
on the way home one night and it all up again as I have
done so so so so many times before.

I am so lucky, and I know how lucky I am, but can
someone please tell me how I can take this oppourtunity and
not drink anymore!!!

I apologise for the swearing but I really need to make this job
work and I have no idea how to handle it. Everything is there,
a good life, a good job, money, health benefits, the lot and
unfortunately me, the drunk who will inevitably screw it up,
again!!!!!

How do I make this work?

Dee74

Hi Hammers - good to see you tho I'm sorry you've been struggling still.

I'd be accessing all the support I can get - AA is pretty much world wide, I assume you're conversant in the language, and there must be meetings near you.

Unless I'm mixing you up, I also remember you had some PTSD that made it difficult for you getting sober? Have you seen anyone about that?

D

Anna

Hi and I'm glad to hear about your job opportunity.

I think it's important to come up with a plan that will work for you. And, remember that it's more than stopping drinking. You will need to make lifestyle changes in order to support your sobriety and recovery.

Maudcat

It's the simplest and the most difficult thing for us to do, Hammers. You don't drink. You have four days. Why not make it five, then six? You will have, imo, a greater chance of success if you keep to a recovery plan. Read the "stickie"at the top of the main menu entitled, "psst. Want to know why I am recommending a recovery plan?" By Dee 74. Your plan can be going to AA or a secular plan (no 12 step). It can be talking to a trusted friend or a religious if that is how you roll. But have a plan and stay with it. You won't be sorry. Peace.

Maudcat

You might also read another recent post by MeSoSober, in which he/she outlines a recovery plan. It is, I believe, in the Newcomers to Recovery forum and entitled, "my recovery plan."

Hammers

My post has been edited

I understand the **** to avoid the
profanity

But now my post makes no sense.

Maudcat

Made sense to me.

Hammers

before I buy a bottle of Scotch
on the way home one night and it all up again.

Verb is missing between "and" and "it"

Thanks for your help, but editing out profanity and
leaving ** in its space is fine.

Editing posts so they do not represent what was intended
is, well, something for you's all to consider.

Thanks, I will deal with my problem myself.

Thanks all, good evening.

Dee74

The swear filter is automatic according to an in built database of naughty words.

It was here last time you posted too - been here since 2002

Noones edited your post otherwise, and it makes perfect sense to me.

This is probably not the thing to be focusing on right now though?

just relax - there's a lot of help here if you want it

D.

Dee74

Looks like you've signed off.

I really hope you come back Hammers.

D

Done4today

welcome Hammers, your posts makes perfect sense to all of us. We have all been there that's one reason we are here. Keep coming back is a phrase you will get comfortable with along your journey to sobriety. As others have suggested get a plan it helps. I believe in contingency plans because they work and save lives.

fini

Hammers,
come on, man, we've figured out the missing word and understand what you're saying.
no big mystery there.
the really messed up part is to use this little edit-thing as an excuse to cut yourself off from this place and opportunity for support.
if this tiny obstacle which doesn't even deserve the label of obstacle gets you running, then ....well, is this something you do?

I did. glommed on to any little thing , decided it was soooo unpalatable and somehow against my principles and most certainly meant I couldn't hang around.

not making fun of you....just that it's such a waste.

we're not perfect here. which is a good thing for all of us.and for you, if you'll let it be.

awuh1

While Switzerland may have it's share of "small minds" it also has produced some world class thinkers. One of them, Carl Jung, wrote the letter below to one of the people who helped to start an organization called Alcoholics Anonymous. Jung was refered to as the "first link in the chain" of events that helped to start AA. I found the letter to be quite helpful. I hope you find something helpful in it.

In addition I'd suggest that you consider attending a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. Here is a link for information about a meeting tomorrow in Bern. I wish you all the best.
https://alcoholics-anonymous.eu/meet...y&r=709&v=list

PhoenixJ

Me- I drank- lost a job or jumped before I was pushed. I would then do the classic alcoholic geographical- run away. New house, new job, new location - new start. NOPE- I just carried my drinking to a new location. I was the problem with alcohol- not the job, house, location or career. In the end I lost my family, job, house, car, money, self respect and every bodies trust. It literally nearly cost me my life with burns. I had a good academic career, solid qualifications and good potential. I could not run away from myself. I lost everything. Only now sorting it- with professional guidance, medical checks and AA. That is my primary focus- if I do not get this done- the career, money, etc will be pointless and I will lose it all over again- if I do not do a better job next time and officially become not alive anymore. If that happens no one is going to mourn my pathetic death as a drunk who knew better.

SWTPEA61

It makes plenty of sense Hammers......... this makes sense too stop going to the bar the package store and keep coming here and read these posts. Change your life now and never have to repeat Day 1 again.

Delilah1

Hi Hammers,

Your post makes perfect sense to me as well. Congratulations on the new position, sounds like a wonderful opportunity, and one you want to enter into sober. Since you already have four days, think how nice it will be to have another seven when you start.

There are lots of links on here to help with plans. You may want to also look into joining the November class, or December when Dee starts it.

Hope to hear from you again.

wpainterw

Hi Hammers:
Since you live in Bern, Switzerland, perhaps you are quite familiar with the North Wall of the Eiger, right above Kleine Scheidegg, south of Interlaken.I love mountains, but am not a climber myself, and I often think of the path to recovery as a hazardous ascent, particularly so in the beginning stages. I have found that my best chance of success was having the companionship and skillful assistance of others, particularly recovering alcoholics with some record of sobriety. Others on the rope to catch you and get you back on track should you slip and fall. You can find them at AA or other plans such as "Smart Recovery". Perhaps your doctor or advisor can help you get into a group. It is also wise to follow closely the advice of a doctor or counselor who has experience with alcoholism and substance abuse, with any prescriptions carefully restricted and monitored as to refills. And do keep posting on SR. If I had been able to do so in my earlier years I would not have taken as long to recover. Now I have 28 years without a drink. Good luck!
P.S. I just saw that you signed off because of computer editing. I would be most disappointed that I went to the trouble of trying to help you and you never even read my advice to you! Isn't sobriety the really important thing to you? Is signing off something that your AV might be suggesting to you at this time? Whatever you do, please try to get others on the rope and try not to climb the Eiger all by yourself.


Bill

PurpleKnight

I'm not sure doing this on your own is a good idea Hammers, what's the point in having support if it's not utilised.

I hope you come back, there's Soo much support here on SR!!

wpainterw

I tried it on my own- for forty years! About six hospitalizations, four or more relapses. Lots of "reading". Been there, done that!

W.