Merigold

Really struggling.


I'm in the UK. We got loan of 7k for rehab. It's in my bank account right now. But I am struggling to pick a place!

Some home truths:

I want to quit drinking everyday.
I fail everyday.
Have 7k to pay for rehab. Unlikely to ever get the money again!
Access is a big part of my issues.
I want to quit everyday, but if i have the means I WILL drink.

I want quit drinking. I'm failing to see how I can do it. At the end of the day, I feel better when I drink. I'm smarter, more social, and more career minded. I say that and yet. my husband is sick of me and my job is on tenderhooks.

A part of me thinks it' might just be easier to kill myself. I'm so tired of being a failure. I am failing at everything I do.

We have a loan of 7K. It's all we could get to fund a 28 day program.


I am absolutely terrified to pick the right place. Have two options:


Providence project. Allows us some extra money to pay off debts incurred due to my irresponsibility. I can't post due to limits. But It's Providence Project UK

Blue Skies: Does not leave us any room. Husband thinks, because it's more expensive it MUST be better. I can't post due to limits but it's Blue Skies Farnham rehab.

Both are quasi residential.

Terrified of making the wrong decision.

Would be nice to know any one's experiences.

Anna

Hi, I didn't go to a rehab, but I am glad to hear you are working on your recovery. Have you called each place and asked questions that are concerning you? Ultimately, I think that motivation is the most important part of the equation. If you really want to stop drinking, you will do it.

doggonecarl

I think the wrongest decision would to be to talk yourself out of rehab or to go into it thinking you are bound to fail.

Merigold

Everyday I wake up saying this is the last day!

But it never is. Mainly because I have access. I went and had a bottle of wine for lunch today, because I could. I had money, and I had time.

I DO not count on ,my own will power. It is crap.

I want/need rehab because if I just a few days of it being out of my hands I want to believe that will be the straw that breaks the camels back!

Probably naive.

Sasha4

A friend did it twice but some of it NHS funded.

She still gets a few months together, then relapses.

I spent thousands on private counselling. Never worked. There was no other reason why I drank too much other than I liked alcohol too much and used it as my first choice of weapon to when things were bad. Also when things were good.

In the end I decided that the fact that alcohol made me really unhappy and the people I lived unhappy, that was enough for me to stop drinking.

I will have 5 years in Feb 2017.
Wish I had done AA first time round without spending all that money.
But thats me and hindsight is a wonderful thing. Maybe it was all part and parcel of what I needed to happen.

It took hard work at the start.
I had to put every ounce of what I had into not stopping by the shop for a bottle, declining invites, keeping super busy.

I never told myself it was forever that I was stopping for. At first a week, then a month, then 6 months, then a year.

I just told myself I would not drink that day. If things were still rubbish the net day, I could drink, but not that day. Nothing was ever that bad the next day that would require me to drink to get over it.

My relationship died, I was made redundant twice, a family member died, I had surgery, had a 40th, had friends 40th's. NOT A SIP!!!

It worked.

Have you been to your GP?
Have you been to AA?

I wish you the best xx

Berrybean

We all FELT better when we drank. But that's just the big fat lies our AVs tell us. You know there's evidence that points to the fact that actually alcohol makes you less productive and efficient at work, and your husband is sick of it, so that sounds real social. Stop listening to your AV. It's the only way to get past this point. There is no way of shutting the little fudger up unfortunately. You just have to starve it. The longer between the present time and your last drink, the quieter and less frequent that voice will come. The trick is recognising it. How do you recognise it? It's the voice that's telling you that for this, that or the other reason THIS drink is okay, justified, necessary or even smart. That you can just have a couple (yeah right). Tell it to take a hike and take your life back.

FreeOwl

get yourself into whichever program can get you in sooner, and get serious getting sober.

get yourself into whichever program makes you feel the least comfortable with it.... because that'll probably be the one you need most.

get yourself into whichever program gets you going on recovery NOW.... and stop with the rationalizing. We are great at rationalizing our way right back to a bender.

get yourself in - and get yourself onto every last shred of recovery support you are able. Eat it up. LIve it. Soak it in. Choose it. Absorb it. Gratefully take this gift of a chance as a total reset opportunity and don't let yourself fall back into this awful addiction again..... turn your life around. Do it NOW.

The program you choose is less important than the choice.... make that choice deeply and fully and embrace it with all you've got as though your very opportunity to live a blessed, beautiful, abundant, gifted, incredible life of wonder depends on it. Because it does.

Go. Do it.