strugglin1

At 2am liquor is not available for sale here until tomorrow. I am 30 minutes away from another day without drinking. That will be 4 days in a row after screwing up Monday where I'd made it a week. My wife left me 2 weeks ago because of my drinking. I told her I screwed up Monday and she was very upset with me, but came by to talk it through later. We're in this weird hell where we're a family but not a family. She wants to support me so we talk or text every day. I went to talk with her therapist (with her) and it was suggested we treat this time like we are dating. My wife will only do that if I seek help and get sober. I want to get sober so I can stop dying and start living again.

My first therapy meeting is Monday with a substance abuse counselor. I'm literally counting down the hours. Tomorrow night will be tough again while I'm alone at night, like tonight, when I could drink and just lie about it to everyone and say I didn't. But I won't. I'll be productive and battle urges and cravings with positive things to occupy my time. I will beat this.

Ahhh, only 13 minutes until I did it another day! Thanks for all the contributors to this site. It's gotten me through the last 2 hours!

RedAndy

Well done on making it past closing time - you got this.

Keep your mind occupied and like you say stick close to this place (join the November class and post I the 24 hr thread if you haven't already) - plenty of people around to keep you busy in the early days and whenever you need any support - good luck with the meeting on Monday too - being proactive like that is a great step in the right direction. Take everything and anything that you can to help you and don't be afraid to ask or share.

Was exactly where you are 1 year ago - believe me when I say that no matter what you don't give in - the urges pass / the cravings lessen and pretty much disappear - and oh boy the benefits they really do come as long as you stick with it.

Keep going it's the best thing you will ever do.

kittycat3

How about hitting an AA meeting?

RedAndy

Will also add that my marriage was most certainly on the line - through proving I was true to my word and knowing it had to be sorted our relationship is now the best it has been for years - do this for you and also your wife and you will reap the benefits of that I am certain. There's definitely no secret to it - stick with it no matter what - it really does work mate, those people who really care about you will see the real you, I'm pretty sure your wife wants that person back that she fell in love with and cares about, she telling you this because she cares and is trying to help - now it's upto you to make it count, from personal experience it's the best move I ever made bar none.

Dee74

why not join the November thread as mentioned Strugglin - you can never have too much support?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-4-a.html

D

FreedomCA

It would probably mean a lot to your recovery and also to your wife if you added a program of recovery like AA. It's great that you are staying sober and seeing therapists, but I would suggest adding a program of recovery that allows you to work on yourself. This would increase your chances of staying sober, not to mention also therefore increase your chances of staying married.

strugglin1

Thanks, all. We're researching recovery programs together for me. We've found 3 in the area, including AA, that we're interested in for me and together as a family. First comes me because without me, there is no "us". I am hoping to get some more references and support materials from my therapist as well.

thomas11

Good for you on using this site to keep your sanity. Many of us have done it. Keep going.