Needing Advice!
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Needing Advice!
Hi all, my husband left almost a month ago to I gues pursue his new life. We have a two year old and a baby on the way. I suspected for awhile he was using, for obvious reasons, and I just don't know what to do. I'm also a daughter of an addict, which my dad left and did the same when I was 9. Anyways, I've researched any information I could about meth, and it really explained a lot. He denies using, but you can tell. I've went from no contact, to speaking to him only about the kids to be put right back at square one. I've let my daughter go and spend time with him (which I thought she was at his mothers) only to find out she was at the place he works/does the drugs at! She was sick (fever) for two days straight! I'm so scared about what could happen if I continued to let him have her. So, I've told him that if he wants to be in her life he'd have to have supervision for either his mother or me. He says no one is gonna make him do anything and that he don't need supervision. I told him it's either get to see your daughter this way or you go about your life without her. He complied. Am I going about this the right way? I am planning on going to a lawyer but I have to get my life sorted out at the moment, since I was put to live with my mother, with no vehicle of my own, and trying to save up for my own place. I have to get my life in order to move on to this next step. He tells me he doesn't want divorce, he wants to work things out then the next I'm a f'd up b**** and that he'll take our daughter from me. I know this is all the drugs talking, but why keep dragging me through the dirt? I'm just trying to protect myself and my children from him. He has made up so many crazy lies, from him working with the police, to saying a drug dealer made him smoke it, if not he'll be killed, etc. he knows that if he continues to do what he's doing he's bound to kill himself or go to jail. He says he can't handle that. So much more has went on that I just try to keep my head up, but it's hard because of my daughter. She asks when are we going home, where's daddy, does mommy and daddy still love each other? It's so heartbreaking.. I've told him about what she's said and he says he's just confused as she is... so my question is, am I taking the right steps to protect myself and daughter? His mother has recently moved away, and I'm planning on moving closer to her so my daughter can be around her grandmother. He'll be left here with no one but his junkie friends. Do you think when it's all said and done it will help him realize what he's done?
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I also forgot to mention, he keeps bringing up the past June (when I was hospitalized for my PTSD) and accusing me of cheating, then has the nerve to ask me if this baby is even his (I'm due in July). I know I can't convince him that I'm telling the truth, it just really hurts. I take my marriage seriously, divorce is honestly my last option. I asked him today, if he would be willing to go to marriage counseling. Or any at all.. I should already know the answer..
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You need to seek custody immediately. Go to the courthouse and file. Regardless of whether or not there is a chance you might want to work it out with him, you need to put her SAFETY first.
I don't want to scare you, but if there is no custody order in place and you let him spend time with her, he might try and keep her from you and there might not be anything you can do about it until you do go to court. You may think that he wouldn't try to do anything like that, but think about it...he is unpredictable and he is on drugs.
I have been through this before. My advice is do not let him spend time with your daughter without YOU AND someone else until custody is set.
I gave this advice to my sister in law for years. She raised my nephew for 4 years without a custody agreement. I urged her to get one. She did not, and then on one of the visits with his dad, he did not return the child when he was supposed to. Nor did he have to because there was no agreement. There was nothing she could do.
No one ever thinks these things will happen, or they wouldn't. You must be proactive.
I don't want to scare you, but if there is no custody order in place and you let him spend time with her, he might try and keep her from you and there might not be anything you can do about it until you do go to court. You may think that he wouldn't try to do anything like that, but think about it...he is unpredictable and he is on drugs.
I have been through this before. My advice is do not let him spend time with your daughter without YOU AND someone else until custody is set.
I gave this advice to my sister in law for years. She raised my nephew for 4 years without a custody agreement. I urged her to get one. She did not, and then on one of the visits with his dad, he did not return the child when he was supposed to. Nor did he have to because there was no agreement. There was nothing she could do.
No one ever thinks these things will happen, or they wouldn't. You must be proactive.
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I was about to give the same advice as Ladyshipwreck. Unless there is a court order in place...agreements really don't mean anything. I get that it is overwhelming to the extreme, and not something that you are really ready for... but there will never be a good time. If things are going good, you feel you don't really need one and put it on the back burner, if things continue to go wrong, your still in a bad state trying to deal with it. It's not fun. But once a court order is in place, it takes a lot of the guesswork and manipulation power out of your and his hands.
I understand your hurt at being so betrayed. Its awful. Being painted as the one in the wrong when you try so hard to do the right things. Being accused of things that you wouldn't do. Know that when people begin to loose control (you taking the steps to walk out) they begin to flail around and do things that don't make sense. (especially if he had control issues beforehand)
It is a hard hard road to walk when your co-parent is doing unsafe things. I tried for a really long time to maintain my sons relationship with his father, no matter what I thought of him. In the end , my son as an adult, sees his father for what he is, but it was a long and painful road for my son, and I often wonder if I made the right choices all those years ago. A wise person told me... the decision you make at the time, IS the right one. It's the only one you CAN make at the time. (It helped.)
I'm sorry your dealing with this. Especially with two small ones to think about. I think you ARE doing the right things, but I would head to court sooner rather than later. It's gonna suck whenever you do it... sorry.
I understand your hurt at being so betrayed. Its awful. Being painted as the one in the wrong when you try so hard to do the right things. Being accused of things that you wouldn't do. Know that when people begin to loose control (you taking the steps to walk out) they begin to flail around and do things that don't make sense. (especially if he had control issues beforehand)
It is a hard hard road to walk when your co-parent is doing unsafe things. I tried for a really long time to maintain my sons relationship with his father, no matter what I thought of him. In the end , my son as an adult, sees his father for what he is, but it was a long and painful road for my son, and I often wonder if I made the right choices all those years ago. A wise person told me... the decision you make at the time, IS the right one. It's the only one you CAN make at the time. (It helped.)
I'm sorry your dealing with this. Especially with two small ones to think about. I think you ARE doing the right things, but I would head to court sooner rather than later. It's gonna suck whenever you do it... sorry.
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Originally Posted by Ladyshipwreck 
You need to seek custody immediately. Go to the courthouse and file. Regardless of whether or not there is a chance you might want to work it out with him, you need to put her SAFETY first.
I don't want to scare you, but if there is no custody order in place and you let him spend time with her, he might try and keep her from you and there might not be anything you can do about it until you do go to court. You may think that he wouldn't try to do anything like that, but think about it...he is unpredictable and he is on drugs.
I have been through this before. My advice is do not let him spend time with your daughter without YOU AND someone else until custody is set.
I gave this advice to my sister in law for years. She raised my nephew for 4 years without a custody agreement. I urged her to get one. She did not, and then on one of the visits with his dad, he did not return the child when he was supposed to. Nor did he have to because there was no agreement. There was nothing she could do.
No one ever thinks these things will happen, or they wouldn't. You must be proactive.
I don't want to scare you, but if there is no custody order in place and you let him spend time with her, he might try and keep her from you and there might not be anything you can do about it until you do go to court. You may think that he wouldn't try to do anything like that, but think about it...he is unpredictable and he is on drugs.
I have been through this before. My advice is do not let him spend time with your daughter without YOU AND someone else until custody is set.
I gave this advice to my sister in law for years. She raised my nephew for 4 years without a custody agreement. I urged her to get one. She did not, and then on one of the visits with his dad, he did not return the child when he was supposed to. Nor did he have to because there was no agreement. There was nothing she could do.
No one ever thinks these things will happen, or they wouldn't. You must be proactive.
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Originally Posted by Newlifebeginnin
He'll be left here with no one but his junkie friends.
I don't really mean it that way for we know that he should get help.
But, we are powerless over all of that.
If you can do it -- getting some distance between you two is a good thing.
Don't fall into his traps -- for the addict there will be many and all close to the addict will also be (greatly) effected.
Good luck,
M-Bob
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Originally Posted by Sephra
I was about to give the same advice as Ladyshipwreck. Unless there is a court order in place...agreements really don't mean anything. I get that it is overwhelming to the extreme, and not something that you are really ready for... but there will never be a good time. If things are going good, you feel you don't really need one and put it on the back burner, if things continue to go wrong, your still in a bad state trying to deal with it. It's not fun. But once a court order is in place, it takes a lot of the guesswork and manipulation power out of your and his hands.
I understand your hurt at being so betrayed. Its awful. Being painted as the one in the wrong when you try so hard to do the right things. Being accused of things that you wouldn't do. Know that when people begin to loose control (you taking the steps to walk out) they begin to flail around and do things that don't make sense. (especially if he had control issues beforehand)
It is a hard hard road to walk when your co-parent is doing unsafe things. I tried for a really long time to maintain my sons relationship with his father, no matter what I thought of him. In the end , my son as an adult, sees his father for what he is, but it was a long and painful road for my son, and I often wonder if I made the right choices all those years ago. A wise person told me... the decision you make at the time, IS the right one. It's the only one you CAN make at the time. (It helped.)
I'm sorry your dealing with this. Especially with two small ones to think about. I think you ARE doing the right things, but I would head to court sooner rather than later. It's gonna suck whenever you do it... sorry.
I understand your hurt at being so betrayed. Its awful. Being painted as the one in the wrong when you try so hard to do the right things. Being accused of things that you wouldn't do. Know that when people begin to loose control (you taking the steps to walk out) they begin to flail around and do things that don't make sense. (especially if he had control issues beforehand)
It is a hard hard road to walk when your co-parent is doing unsafe things. I tried for a really long time to maintain my sons relationship with his father, no matter what I thought of him. In the end , my son as an adult, sees his father for what he is, but it was a long and painful road for my son, and I often wonder if I made the right choices all those years ago. A wise person told me... the decision you make at the time, IS the right one. It's the only one you CAN make at the time. (It helped.)
I'm sorry your dealing with this. Especially with two small ones to think about. I think you ARE doing the right things, but I would head to court sooner rather than later. It's gonna suck whenever you do it... sorry.
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Also, my one other concern is that before I found out I was pregnant again I had started smoking marijuana after being clean for about 6 months. I only started again because I couldn't deal with the withdrawals from the Effexor my therapist prescribed me. I'm scared that he'll turn the tables on me, and have me lose both kids. It's been 2 weeks almost 3 since I've quit. I had to live with my mother due to I have no other place to go. My daughter sleeps in the crib while I share bed with my mom. I'm scared that my daughter will be taken and I'll never see her again. Will they drug test me or see me as unfit?
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I do understand the fear of being accused of or proved unfit. It was such a fear of mine, and boy did my ex use it against me. You can not listen to what he says to you. He is blowing smoke. I was on headmeds at the time for my issues, and thought it would be used against me. You know what... I was addressing and aware of my issues... he was not addressing his. The judge saw all that. I think its a primal fear that women have... having our children taken. I really wouldn't worry about the psych ward. I think the judge will see where things really stand. And like I said, none of that worked with my ex.
As far as your daughter... I am sorry to say this, but my son was 10 and when my marriage broke down he cried every night for a year and a half. It is so hard and rough on kids. You do the best you can and try to show them that everything is going to be ok in the end. (Not easy on those days when you aren't even sure if you are going to make it through the afternoon, let alone to the end of the mess) I'd just tell her, that you love her, and he does too, but he cant be there right now. She is really too young to understand any of it right now. If she asks why, I'd just make an excuse... oh he is at work. he is at grammas house. etc. Its ok, to tell her you miss him too if you do. There is no right or wrong... there is just the best you can do right now.
My father was a horrible alcoholic. I hated alcohol. I lost my first love because of that hatred of alcohol. (he chose it over me) I too became what I hated. An alcoholic. My father stopped drinking when I was in my teens. I stopped drinking when my son was in his teens. My son now drinks too much. Its a hard web to untangle. Why did I ever fall into it with as much as I had seen and hated it? I'll never be able to answer that.
****I also smoked pot, before and during my divorce... he never brought it up, cause of all of the things I could have brought up on him if he really wanted to play dirty. A judge weighing you smoking a little pot, not knowing you were pregnant, is not the same way they view someone using meth. And you left and are living with your mom to BETTER their lives and keep them safe... that doesn't fit the bill of unsafe.
As far as your daughter... I am sorry to say this, but my son was 10 and when my marriage broke down he cried every night for a year and a half. It is so hard and rough on kids. You do the best you can and try to show them that everything is going to be ok in the end. (Not easy on those days when you aren't even sure if you are going to make it through the afternoon, let alone to the end of the mess) I'd just tell her, that you love her, and he does too, but he cant be there right now. She is really too young to understand any of it right now. If she asks why, I'd just make an excuse... oh he is at work. he is at grammas house. etc. Its ok, to tell her you miss him too if you do. There is no right or wrong... there is just the best you can do right now.
My father was a horrible alcoholic. I hated alcohol. I lost my first love because of that hatred of alcohol. (he chose it over me) I too became what I hated. An alcoholic. My father stopped drinking when I was in my teens. I stopped drinking when my son was in his teens. My son now drinks too much. Its a hard web to untangle. Why did I ever fall into it with as much as I had seen and hated it? I'll never be able to answer that.
****I also smoked pot, before and during my divorce... he never brought it up, cause of all of the things I could have brought up on him if he really wanted to play dirty. A judge weighing you smoking a little pot, not knowing you were pregnant, is not the same way they view someone using meth. And you left and are living with your mom to BETTER their lives and keep them safe... that doesn't fit the bill of unsafe.
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Your daughter is still very young. She will be okay as long as you are okay. Getting out of this situation right now does not mean that you are taking her away from her dad forever or anything like that. You are not making a life long commitment. You are simply taking steps to make sure your daughter is safe NOW. Today. YOu don't have to think far into the future. Take baby steps.
My son was 3 when I left his biological father. He does not have memories of that time. His father was on drugs and also sold drugs. I left as soon as I could. Despite all of the awful things he had done to me, and all of the lies, he still managed to make me feel sorry for him and guilty about leaving. I was made to feel like I was ruining HIS life by taking his son away. But it was HIS choices.
Be prepared that he might try and make you feel the same way. I know it's very hard and scary to think about filing. I am sure you are worried about how he will react. It is not fun. But you are a mother and you must do what is best for your child.
You shoud be able to go ahead and file without a lawyer. Just call the courthouse and ask them what you need to do. I did have a lawyer but there were finances and stuff that needed to be handled. I think I could've done the custody stuff without her.
One thing I recommend you do is start a log with dates if possible. Record the date you left, dates of visitations he has had. Log anything questionable that he says to you, any money he gives to you, etc. It may come in handy. Also, but separately, start keeping record of your daughters expenses. And as soon as you are ready, file for child support. Believe me, I know it is overwhelming. And you might feel like you are the one doing this to him.
As for your daughter, just surround her with love. Maybe start taking her to play groups. You can meet other moms and it can be something tthe both of you look forward to.
Sorry you have to go through this. I know how much it sucks.
My son was 3 when I left his biological father. He does not have memories of that time. His father was on drugs and also sold drugs. I left as soon as I could. Despite all of the awful things he had done to me, and all of the lies, he still managed to make me feel sorry for him and guilty about leaving. I was made to feel like I was ruining HIS life by taking his son away. But it was HIS choices.
Be prepared that he might try and make you feel the same way. I know it's very hard and scary to think about filing. I am sure you are worried about how he will react. It is not fun. But you are a mother and you must do what is best for your child.
You shoud be able to go ahead and file without a lawyer. Just call the courthouse and ask them what you need to do. I did have a lawyer but there were finances and stuff that needed to be handled. I think I could've done the custody stuff without her.
One thing I recommend you do is start a log with dates if possible. Record the date you left, dates of visitations he has had. Log anything questionable that he says to you, any money he gives to you, etc. It may come in handy. Also, but separately, start keeping record of your daughters expenses. And as soon as you are ready, file for child support. Believe me, I know it is overwhelming. And you might feel like you are the one doing this to him.
As for your daughter, just surround her with love. Maybe start taking her to play groups. You can meet other moms and it can be something tthe both of you look forward to.
Sorry you have to go through this. I know how much it sucks.
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Join Date: Nov 2016
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Don't stress about the pot thing. Just don't do it anymore and you will be fine.
As for your living arrangement, that is not unfit. Of course it may not be the most comfortable for you, it is temporary.
In all honesty, he probably does not want the responsibility of being a full time dad and knows that your daughter is much better off with you. But the custody thing protects against him deciding to do something stupid like keep her from you temporarily out of spite. Or not returning her when you expect her.
My son's dad took him to Disney World without telling me. He did not have a license or a phone. They took a train. He was supposed to be under the supervision of his mother during visits. I was having trouble getting ahold of them and did not hear from him for two days after calling his mom. Finally I got a call from the motel in FL. We lived in NC at the time. His mother was not with them.
Don't let your worries of "what if he turns the tables" hold you back.
As for your living arrangement, that is not unfit. Of course it may not be the most comfortable for you, it is temporary.
In all honesty, he probably does not want the responsibility of being a full time dad and knows that your daughter is much better off with you. But the custody thing protects against him deciding to do something stupid like keep her from you temporarily out of spite. Or not returning her when you expect her.
My son's dad took him to Disney World without telling me. He did not have a license or a phone. They took a train. He was supposed to be under the supervision of his mother during visits. I was having trouble getting ahold of them and did not hear from him for two days after calling his mom. Finally I got a call from the motel in FL. We lived in NC at the time. His mother was not with them.
Don't let your worries of "what if he turns the tables" hold you back.
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Well I went to the courthouse and told them my situation. They said that I needed to speak with a lawyer due to the circumstances. Of course, I can't get ahold of any since it's the holidays. He's supposed to come see her Friday afternoon, but I'm scared. i really don't want him around at all.
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After I speak to a lawyer, what happens next?
I hope for his sake that this wakes him up and he realizes how serious this is getting. He may try to act like he's the better parent, or that he feels sorry for me, or any other lie he comes up with. In the end I'm the one taking responsibility for these kids. I didn't sign up for this life, he's told me he's tired of living like a 40 year old, he wants to be his age (23). What a joke. I'm 21, and now I'm a single mother of two. I'm blindsided by all of this.. How can someone become something that he despised so much? He was disgusted by his past actions before when he was using. I'm glad he stayed clean for as long as he did but he has some serious issues within himself. I just wish he got help.. I can't force him though.
I hope for his sake that this wakes him up and he realizes how serious this is getting. He may try to act like he's the better parent, or that he feels sorry for me, or any other lie he comes up with. In the end I'm the one taking responsibility for these kids. I didn't sign up for this life, he's told me he's tired of living like a 40 year old, he wants to be his age (23). What a joke. I'm 21, and now I'm a single mother of two. I'm blindsided by all of this.. How can someone become something that he despised so much? He was disgusted by his past actions before when he was using. I'm glad he stayed clean for as long as he did but he has some serious issues within himself. I just wish he got help.. I can't force him though.
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I'm not going to tell you to lie. Personally, I couldn't. But I will say it worked great for my ex. I admitted to everything he brought up- past drug use (before I ever had kids), a DUI (also way before), and a suicide attempt (in friggin' high school- 16 YEARS AGO). He admitted to nothing. And the mediator believed him.
Like I said, I don't mean to encourage you to lie. I don't know why I'm even telling you this. I guess I'm still processing my situation and wondering if things could have been different if I was a POS like my ex.
But the one thing that is good in my situation: It is documented that I TRIED to get the kids away from him because of his drug use and insane behavior. So if he's caught using (which he will be) or, God forbid, putting them in danger, I won't be responsible. Otherwise, I would be seen as allowing this sort of behavior, and I'd be just as responsible as he is.
Do what is right. Don't let fear stand in your way.
Best wishes.
Like I said, I don't mean to encourage you to lie. I don't know why I'm even telling you this. I guess I'm still processing my situation and wondering if things could have been different if I was a POS like my ex.
But the one thing that is good in my situation: It is documented that I TRIED to get the kids away from him because of his drug use and insane behavior. So if he's caught using (which he will be) or, God forbid, putting them in danger, I won't be responsible. Otherwise, I would be seen as allowing this sort of behavior, and I'd be just as responsible as he is.
Do what is right. Don't let fear stand in your way.
Best wishes.
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What kills me the most is that he just doesn't speak to me, every time I've tried to, he has this awful guilty look then snaps out of it. I just wish he wouldn't push me away.. I've done nothing wrong to him.. I mean I understand what has led up to this, but I know that I'm not to blame. He only speaks to me when it regards our daughter then I'll ask him if he's doing okay, I'm trying to keep it together and not pester him.. but he was all I had. He was my bestfriend. He still wants friendship, but how can I go from being a wife to a friend? I feel so worthless now, like I'm nothing compared to drugs. Like I'm never worth it. I don't want my daughter to feel this way... I don't even wanna think about what I'm gonna do when I have this baby..
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His drug problem has nothing to do with your worth. It has to do with him and only him.
I get it, so many times I've looked at the problems in my life and the only common denominator I can find is me. So I end feeling like I am just fatally flawed and unlovable.
It is NOT you. If he is all you've had (Have) ... well then you don't know else is really out there... there could be something wonderful around the next corner, that you can't see, that can't show up until you get the negative out of your life.
You've lost (are losing ) a lot. Your friend, your love, your self confidence, the relationship you thought you had, the relationship you want, the father of your kids, help with the kids, your trust in faith in yourself , your faith in your ability to judge others...etc. You are allowed to grieve that. And grief has its own time table and way.
Here's what I think you should do... go through the court system, you've already talked to them now... step one good on you! In the mean time, just day by day, you get stronger, you make a plan on how to take care of the kiddos alone with out help. (If help comes, great, if it doesn't than you are not dependent on it or let down) I know your still young and now facing life with the scary prospect of being a single mom. None of us ever pictured being single moms... and yup, it is so hard, but you know what? Lots of us end up being GREAT single moms. It is doable, hard but worth it. And doing it on your own, no one can take that away.
Can you make a plan to meet up with him somewhere with your daughter rather than have him take her without you? That might alleviate your worries, but keep in mind spending time with him is probably gonna hurt your heart right now too.
I get it, so many times I've looked at the problems in my life and the only common denominator I can find is me. So I end feeling like I am just fatally flawed and unlovable.
It is NOT you. If he is all you've had (Have) ... well then you don't know else is really out there... there could be something wonderful around the next corner, that you can't see, that can't show up until you get the negative out of your life.
You've lost (are losing ) a lot. Your friend, your love, your self confidence, the relationship you thought you had, the relationship you want, the father of your kids, help with the kids, your trust in faith in yourself , your faith in your ability to judge others...etc. You are allowed to grieve that. And grief has its own time table and way.
Here's what I think you should do... go through the court system, you've already talked to them now... step one good on you! In the mean time, just day by day, you get stronger, you make a plan on how to take care of the kiddos alone with out help. (If help comes, great, if it doesn't than you are not dependent on it or let down) I know your still young and now facing life with the scary prospect of being a single mom. None of us ever pictured being single moms... and yup, it is so hard, but you know what? Lots of us end up being GREAT single moms. It is doable, hard but worth it. And doing it on your own, no one can take that away.
Can you make a plan to meet up with him somewhere with your daughter rather than have him take her without you? That might alleviate your worries, but keep in mind spending time with him is probably gonna hurt your heart right now too.
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As I said before, it is best if you do not let him take the child. That was advice my lawyer gave me the first time I met with her, not to let him take the child until a custody order is put in place. If you want to allow him to see your daughter, that is fine. But I would ask him to agree to do it with your, and preferably someone else's, supervision.
After you speak to a lawyer they might have you go to what is called mediation. That is where you and the father will try and agree on a visitation arrangement. Your lawyer can help you come up with a plan before hand. The mediator will try and help the two of you come to an agreement. If you agree, then you don't go to go to court. You sign the papers and it is given to a judge to sign. That was my experience anyway, and I know other people who had the same. If you can't agree, then you go to court.
Like I said, that's just from my experience and other's I know of. Just take it day by day. You took your first step. Plan your next move and then allow yourself to relax until it's time to go through with it.
After you speak to a lawyer they might have you go to what is called mediation. That is where you and the father will try and agree on a visitation arrangement. Your lawyer can help you come up with a plan before hand. The mediator will try and help the two of you come to an agreement. If you agree, then you don't go to go to court. You sign the papers and it is given to a judge to sign. That was my experience anyway, and I know other people who had the same. If you can't agree, then you go to court.
Like I said, that's just from my experience and other's I know of. Just take it day by day. You took your first step. Plan your next move and then allow yourself to relax until it's time to go through with it.
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Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
he does not determine your worth. no one does. he didn't "chose" drugs OVER you, its just that he is caught in the inhuman grip of very powerful drugs and they leave no room for anything else.
he is actively using. he is "insane". do not try to reason with him, bargain with him, because he can't "hear" you. and do not let him be alone with your child......
he is actively using. he is "insane". do not try to reason with him, bargain with him, because he can't "hear" you. and do not let him be alone with your child......
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 13
Thank you everyone, I'm taking in all this advice, and it really helps. He was messaging me today after I told him I had to cancel on plans for him to see her this Friday. He was upset, but I told him it's what's best right now. I guess he's coming down cause he said he regrets what he did, and that he wants to see us. I'm not going to give in that easily. I love him, but I'm putting my daughter first.
I told him one day he's going to wake up and realize he's missed out so much, our daughter is so young, she may never remember him. This baby may never know it's dad. He said that it hurts him everyday, then he switched and acted like an a**. Saying he would be here right now if it was okay with me and proceeded to call me boss. He said I'm acting like I'm perfect all of a sudden. Which I haven't, I'm facing all these issues head on, and I'm learning. I'm trying my best to not go back and forth.. I've told him that.. he's a strong person, he can beat this horrible drug. I try to motivate him to show him he's worth a good life, a life with no drugs to mask the pain. He thinks it's weak for him to open up. Which he's ALWAYS been an open person especially about his feelings. And past. I think a lot of it has to do with him being beat as a child..
I told him one day he's going to wake up and realize he's missed out so much, our daughter is so young, she may never remember him. This baby may never know it's dad. He said that it hurts him everyday, then he switched and acted like an a**. Saying he would be here right now if it was okay with me and proceeded to call me boss. He said I'm acting like I'm perfect all of a sudden. Which I haven't, I'm facing all these issues head on, and I'm learning. I'm trying my best to not go back and forth.. I've told him that.. he's a strong person, he can beat this horrible drug. I try to motivate him to show him he's worth a good life, a life with no drugs to mask the pain. He thinks it's weak for him to open up. Which he's ALWAYS been an open person especially about his feelings. And past. I think a lot of it has to do with him being beat as a child..
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