tomls

I have 4 children. They all drink, but not quite like I did. I have 30+ days sober. I went to one of my sons' house the other day to help put a water softener in and noticed different kinds of liquor everywhere. all my kids keep it around all the time. I could never do that, if it was there I would have to make sure it wasn't there for long! Christmas is always a tough time, they all always have alot of fancy drinks all over the place. They all want me to stay sober and I don't want to be the reason they can't drink and be themselves during the holidays. It's kind of an uncomfortable situation. Any ideas?

entropy1964

Hmmm, that's a tough one. Alcohol is everywhere, literally. I know if I feel I can't resist the temptation to drink, I avoid the situation. I don't know how long you've been sober but maybe bowing out this year....I know, that idea sucks. Can you try to limit your time with them? Just come for the main event of eating or opening packages? Do you attend a treatment program? That can really help as a motivator if you can attend meetings before or after your social event? Its a tough deal for sure. But I know I can drink any time I want. I have to accept that I simply won't.

MLD51

I understand that it's uncomfortable - If they really want you to be sober, can you let them know it will be difficult for you if they are drinking in your presence? Like Frickaflip suggested, maybe just go for a couple of hours, request that they not drink during that time, then go home early and leave them to their drinking. I would think that would be a workable compromise.

DontRemember

For the past couple of years I always wondered: "How do people have liquor cabinets?"

january161992

congrats on 30 days

i hope you keep moving forward

one day at a time

Anna

Are there grandchildren you can play with or dogs you can walk? Is there something that can get you out of the mix for a little bit. I hope you can enjoy your holiday.

hopeful4

I think it's absolutely acceptable to ask them not to have booze around during the holidays. Tell them you love spending the time with them, and that it would help you with your sobriety to not be triggered in that way.

I am divorced now, but when I was married to an alcoholic, my family never had any alcohol at family holidays, and it was completely fine, they did not mind at all, and I bet your family would not either.

Ariesagain

Or wine cellars!

SWTPEA61

Tomls
Bring sparkling water with cranberry juice and fresh lime theres your fancy drink.....put an umbrella in the glass if you want to 😉 and
Just remember you are an alcoholic you can't have just one. Besides the next morning you will kick yourself in the A** all those years sober and you have to start at day 1 .....i don't think so.

CAPTAINZING2000

Are they coming to your place for Christmas or, is one of your kids having at their place?

You mentioned they want you to stay sober.

If, they are coming to your place, you have the right to call them and ask them to not bring alcohol in the house.

Hope it works out for you

Berrybean

If they're Normies, then they may well really not give a hoot about not drinking alcohol while you're there, as Normies can put people they love over taking a drink. That's kind of tough for us to realise or understand when we're newly sober.

I'd suggest putting the question to them and seeing what they say. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Dee74

I won't lie - I didn't do family Xmas the first year -and I didn't regret not going.

Of course I understand that's not possible for everyone.

Even tho this is a Thanksgiving topic, it fits all social occasions - give it a read.

Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide

CAPTAINZING2000

Dee, that link covers it!

noneever

Awesome link! I especially like not beating yourself up for having thoughts of drinking. I've made the mistake many times this year of thinking of drinking= failing, therefore might as well go ahead and drink.
Thoughts are just thoughts. They come and go and unless you act on them, they can do no harm.