Jfc

My 46 yr old daughter has been drinking & smoking pot since she was at least 18. Other drugs too I am sure. She & her 8 year old daughter have been homeless for over 3 years. She cut off relations with her 26 year old son at that same time & hasn't talked to him since. During that time she completed a 30 day in house treatment& 2 extended out patient programs. I drove for her for over a year & let her live with me for our patient treatment. When she got tired of me pushing her to get back to work& move she reconnected with a sister & provided daycare in exchange for about a year & then the sis demanded she she leave just as she was diagnosed with a tumor in her breast. I had found evidence of her drinking after she had moved out of my place, but I went to the doctor with her& confirmed that she needed surgery & I took her & her daughter in to make sure she got the medical attention. I had already noticed her anxiety, depression, paranoia, bad diet, childish behavior,but she cleans up for a bit & I get hopeful & want to help so I drive her around & she got a job a month before school started. The small room she shared with her daughter here was a mess so a few days before school I went in to clean it so my granddaughter would have a good start. I was disappointed but not shocked to find 4 grocery sacks of wine & other alcohol containers stashed under the bed she shared with her daughter. I gave her notice (not for the first time) & she rented a room for the two of them, but on the day I was set to take my granddaughter to her new place mom was missing. She turned herself into ER high on booze, pot & meth. I drove her to detox. Now I still have my granddaughter, my daughter has decided to take an unpaid leave of absence & go back for in house treatment. I am physically & mentally hardly able to talk or look at her. I love her & want her to find some peace but I am also so mad i told her I really can't do any more for her while taking full time care if an 8 yr old who naturally lives her mother.i am the bad guy from their perspectives. I am just venting right now. I am so sad and tired.

Dee74

I'm really sorry for what brings you here jfc, but you'll find support and understanding I promise.

I was an alcoholic for many years - I didn't go to rehab but I finally had an
a-ha moment and cleaned up., I hope this may be your daughters turn around too.

I'm glad your granddaughter has someone to depend upon.

D

january161992

hi jfc

Friends and families of problem drinkers find understanding
and support at Al-Anon meetings.

http://al-anon.org/

God bless

saoutchik

It sounds like drink and drugs are not the only things your daughter is using Jfc. Are there any social services professionals you can discuss this with?

I am a recovering alcoholic myself so while I have empathy with your daughters condition it cannot be used as an excuse to abuse the support of siblings. Ultimately your daughter needs to choose between drugs and alcohol or family

It is really difficult because I suspect your grandaughter is better off being cared for by you even though you should not be forced into this position

I hope you get a good outcome

Forward12

Welcome and that sounds like a terrible situation, but the most important thing is that your granddaughter is in good hands now. Growing up in an environment like that is not something any child should have to experience.
Your daughter will never get better until she truly gains the complete devotion to sobriety.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Jfc!!

Jfc

It felt so good to hear from all of you. I have been to AlAnon years ago & that did help. At the moment the meeting nearby is in the evening & does not offer child care so I can't make it. I am on my own with no one close to help me. I am hanging on by a thread financially & emotionally. & physically. Thankfully my granddaughter's dad's family is taking her for thanksgiving. I plan on getting some rest & build myself back up for the next round.

flguy1

Good luck to you! I hope everything turns out ok and that you find happiness