Newbie and Confused
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 1
Newbie and Confused
I am new and seeking help, advice, support, a cheerleader, some one to give me the truth
How naive can one be after growing up without my father consistently in my life because of drug abuse. Here I am, nearly 4 years in a relationship. I did not know the first 1.5 and I do mean absolutely clueless. We both worked so much and in and out of town there were no red flags and I did not know what to look for. He answered his phone and if he didn't he always called back at times not right away but never suspected anything because he had never given me a reason to suspect or doubt anything. When it did surface, I thought he didn't make it to a date we had because he just got really drunk and that was it, it wasn't until he disappeared on me and I went and found him...that is when he explained to me his problem...cocaine and the alcohol was him coping with his regret of getting high because he goes weeks even months without it and when he back slides he drinks himself out of the it. Fast forward to now and I've learned how his previous relationships failed due to him pushing them away and how one didn't care what he would do as long as it didn't interfere with what she had going on. So here I am praying, comforting, pushing, and reminding him how much his life is worth more than he realizes. We have really good days/weeks and an episode will sneak up on me and break me down because now I am so invested and the mood swings take me on a roller coaster ride with no seat belt. We do not have kids together, but he is the only man my youngest has known, his child is emotionally attached and vice versa, my oldest daughter admires everything about him and has no clue, he is what I learned an functioning addict. No financial issues, runs a business, no legal woes etc. When he needs that hit, he either makes sure we are away long enough to get high or finds himself a hide away. When returning he is locked up in a room and coming down off his high or drunkenness and is always regretful. He will tell me to leave him, but my heart won't let me. I have become more connected to my Christianity being with him and now pray affectionately for my blessings and his sobriety. He is has re-introduced me to Christ in a sense, before him I didn't attend church, know much about the bible, faith, and praying. His family at times feel like I am wasting my time, so worried if I leave who would care about him? Who would pray for his safety and health, and I do feel he really tries because of my presence and he knows with me around it is harder for him to just up and do it whenever...those mood swing however make think is it really worth it.
How naive can one be after growing up without my father consistently in my life because of drug abuse. Here I am, nearly 4 years in a relationship. I did not know the first 1.5 and I do mean absolutely clueless. We both worked so much and in and out of town there were no red flags and I did not know what to look for. He answered his phone and if he didn't he always called back at times not right away but never suspected anything because he had never given me a reason to suspect or doubt anything. When it did surface, I thought he didn't make it to a date we had because he just got really drunk and that was it, it wasn't until he disappeared on me and I went and found him...that is when he explained to me his problem...cocaine and the alcohol was him coping with his regret of getting high because he goes weeks even months without it and when he back slides he drinks himself out of the it. Fast forward to now and I've learned how his previous relationships failed due to him pushing them away and how one didn't care what he would do as long as it didn't interfere with what she had going on. So here I am praying, comforting, pushing, and reminding him how much his life is worth more than he realizes. We have really good days/weeks and an episode will sneak up on me and break me down because now I am so invested and the mood swings take me on a roller coaster ride with no seat belt. We do not have kids together, but he is the only man my youngest has known, his child is emotionally attached and vice versa, my oldest daughter admires everything about him and has no clue, he is what I learned an functioning addict. No financial issues, runs a business, no legal woes etc. When he needs that hit, he either makes sure we are away long enough to get high or finds himself a hide away. When returning he is locked up in a room and coming down off his high or drunkenness and is always regretful. He will tell me to leave him, but my heart won't let me. I have become more connected to my Christianity being with him and now pray affectionately for my blessings and his sobriety. He is has re-introduced me to Christ in a sense, before him I didn't attend church, know much about the bible, faith, and praying. His family at times feel like I am wasting my time, so worried if I leave who would care about him? Who would pray for his safety and health, and I do feel he really tries because of my presence and he knows with me around it is harder for him to just up and do it whenever...those mood swing however make think is it really worth it.
Just a Girl Trying to Make It...
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 207
Welcome! 
You can still pray for him....from a distance. We don't get sober until we're ready, and until he is truly ready no amount of pushing and reminding matters. Unfortunately, the financial issues and legal woes are often "yets" to us...they simply haven't happened yet.
You can still pray for him....from a distance. We don't get sober until we're ready, and until he is truly ready no amount of pushing and reminding matters. Unfortunately, the financial issues and legal woes are often "yets" to us...they simply haven't happened yet.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
