How did you start?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 2
How did you start?
Hey everyone -
I am new here. I've been reading posts, and it appears as though everyone has already started being sober. How do you do it? I joined because I'm feeling really hopeless and frustrated with myself, I can't remember the last time I was sober for more than a day (maybe two). Even when I make up my mind to stop (or even just to take a week off), I always give in. Does anyone have any suggestions or resources for breaking the cycle and getting started?
Thanks.
I am new here. I've been reading posts, and it appears as though everyone has already started being sober. How do you do it? I joined because I'm feeling really hopeless and frustrated with myself, I can't remember the last time I was sober for more than a day (maybe two). Even when I make up my mind to stop (or even just to take a week off), I always give in. Does anyone have any suggestions or resources for breaking the cycle and getting started?
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Albany ny
Posts: 105
One day@time
Originally Posted by getschwifty 
Hey everyone -
I am new here. I've been reading posts, and it appears as though everyone has already started being sober. How do you do it? I joined because I'm feeling really hopeless and frustrated with myself, I can't remember the last time I was sober for more than a day (maybe two). Even when I make up my mind to stop (or even just to take a week off), I always give in. Does anyone have any suggestions or resources for breaking the cycle and getting started?
Thanks.
I am new here. I've been reading posts, and it appears as though everyone has already started being sober. How do you do it? I joined because I'm feeling really hopeless and frustrated with myself, I can't remember the last time I was sober for more than a day (maybe two). Even when I make up my mind to stop (or even just to take a week off), I always give in. Does anyone have any suggestions or resources for breaking the cycle and getting started?
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,036
Hello and welcome to SR!
I know it sounds cliche, but it truly is one day at a time. We have all been where you are, writing that first post, and starting out. This site has been a huge resource for me.
I joined in 2012, and spent three years alternating between sobriety, and failed attempts at moderation. 2016 is the first year I will be completely sober since I was 14. I finally decided to follow Dee's advice and make a recovery plan.
The first few days I planned out every minute of the time I would normally be drinking, I also spent a ton of time reading and posting on here. Some of the things that have been a really important part of my recovery are journaling, checking in here daily, exercise, hiking, plans with my kids, and mindfulness (still working on this)
There are many different options for recovery, spend some time reading on here and try out what may work for you.
Glad you are here!
I know it sounds cliche, but it truly is one day at a time. We have all been where you are, writing that first post, and starting out. This site has been a huge resource for me.
I joined in 2012, and spent three years alternating between sobriety, and failed attempts at moderation. 2016 is the first year I will be completely sober since I was 14. I finally decided to follow Dee's advice and make a recovery plan.
The first few days I planned out every minute of the time I would normally be drinking, I also spent a ton of time reading and posting on here. Some of the things that have been a really important part of my recovery are journaling, checking in here daily, exercise, hiking, plans with my kids, and mindfulness (still working on this)
There are many different options for recovery, spend some time reading on here and try out what may work for you.
Glad you are here!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 107
I started by stopping and wanting to.
My bible is my recovery notebook - a 250 pager with 5 dividers. I havent filled them all out yet but one is 'achievements' and every day i write down what i did that I wouldnt have done drinking, drunk or hungover.
Another tab is 'organisation' where i write down every day I have a craving and what I have saved money wise best case and worst case (I.E best case I would just drink one bottle of wine at £6, worst case id go on to 3 bottles at £18. I have saved a fortune in less than two weeks!
Third tab is 'Thoughts' - when I hit a particularly hard point for me I make a post and ask everyone to comment their tips and tricks, then I write it down and refer back to it if I feel that way again.
Sorry for the essay!
My bible is my recovery notebook - a 250 pager with 5 dividers. I havent filled them all out yet but one is 'achievements' and every day i write down what i did that I wouldnt have done drinking, drunk or hungover.
Another tab is 'organisation' where i write down every day I have a craving and what I have saved money wise best case and worst case (I.E best case I would just drink one bottle of wine at £6, worst case id go on to 3 bottles at £18. I have saved a fortune in less than two weeks!
Third tab is 'Thoughts' - when I hit a particularly hard point for me I make a post and ask everyone to comment their tips and tricks, then I write it down and refer back to it if I feel that way again.
Sorry for the essay!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Welcome!
Reading around here a lot is a great start, because it will give you so much information on what you'll be dealing with by stopping. It will help you to be mentally, emotionally and physically prepared to stop.
First time I came on SR after signing up I didn't read around enough and I wasn't prepared. I just joined a monthly class but I didn't last long - just a few days - and then got back on the booze and disappeared.
After just over a year, I did come back to SR because I was done with denying my problem and my health and work were suffering (irreversibly I feared).
When I came back, I was a lot more realistic about what it would take. I went to see a doctor and told her all about my drinking. That was on Day 1.
Then I joined the Dec 2015 monthly class here and posted every day. It gave me accountability and also support by people who quit around the same time. I read and read around here as well as books on addiction and books by people who had sobered up.
Here's the current monthly class thread - just post in it and you'll be off.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post6213898
Finally, I made a plan to stay sober. Here's a thread on that if someone hasn't already posted it:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
Reading around here a lot is a great start, because it will give you so much information on what you'll be dealing with by stopping. It will help you to be mentally, emotionally and physically prepared to stop.
First time I came on SR after signing up I didn't read around enough and I wasn't prepared. I just joined a monthly class but I didn't last long - just a few days - and then got back on the booze and disappeared.
After just over a year, I did come back to SR because I was done with denying my problem and my health and work were suffering (irreversibly I feared).
When I came back, I was a lot more realistic about what it would take. I went to see a doctor and told her all about my drinking. That was on Day 1.
Then I joined the Dec 2015 monthly class here and posted every day. It gave me accountability and also support by people who quit around the same time. I read and read around here as well as books on addiction and books by people who had sobered up.
Here's the current monthly class thread - just post in it and you'll be off.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post6213898
Finally, I made a plan to stay sober. Here's a thread on that if someone hasn't already posted it:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Toronto, ON
Posts: 215
Wanting to get sober is a start. I tried and failed for over a year, but I kept trying and I'll keep trying. If there was a single solution for everyone, that would be amazing, but it doesn't work like that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Las Vegas
Posts: 2
Thanks - you all gave me some good ideas and it's nice to see the support here. I've gone to a couple meetings before by the suggestion of friends, but I've never followed through with anything after because I didn't feel like I was "bad enough". I've been reading lots of articles on here too, and the more I read the more I'm realizing I'm an alcoholic (which I've never thought of myself as before today, so that's super weird to say/type....but the article on recognizing a high functioning alcoholic really had me to a T). Now I just need to actually do something about it. Thanks again y'all.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 107
Originally Posted by getschwifty
Thanks - you all gave me some good ideas and it's nice to see the support here. I've gone to a couple meetings before by the suggestion of friends, but I've never followed through with anything after because I didn't feel like I was "bad enough". I've been reading lots of articles on here too, and the more I read the more I'm realizing I'm an alcoholic (which I've never thought of myself as before today, so that's super weird to say/type....but the article on recognizing a high functioning alcoholic really had me to a T). Now I just need to actually do something about it. Thanks again y'all.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 107
One thing I will say is that yes we are currently high functioning and that made drinking seem okay, but I was leaking into where booze had taken my relationship, and given enough time my job, my car, my friends and my house. This is a good step, alcoholism has no requirements
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
I'd suggest that if you identify with being a "high functioning alcoholic" then it's absolutely the time to stop! Don't wait till you start to lose the things you value.
One of the things I read about here was the concept of "yet". If you find yourself thinking that those horrible things that happen to "true" alcoholics haven't happened to you, consider that they just haven't happened to you yet.
One of the other things I truly believe about myself is that I was on the cusp of getting into real trouble in my job and with my health. The warning signs were there. I was on the lift down to the bottom, and the last few stops come very, very quickly.
I really found those ideas helped me to stop. As a result, I feel I have been given back a life that is rich and rewarding.
One of the things I read about here was the concept of "yet". If you find yourself thinking that those horrible things that happen to "true" alcoholics haven't happened to you, consider that they just haven't happened to you yet.
One of the other things I truly believe about myself is that I was on the cusp of getting into real trouble in my job and with my health. The warning signs were there. I was on the lift down to the bottom, and the last few stops come very, very quickly.
I really found those ideas helped me to stop. As a result, I feel I have been given back a life that is rich and rewarding.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 107
My boyfriend refuses to move back in with me still as he doesnt trust me drinking wise. We have been together nearly 6 years and lived together pretty much all of that time til he left in June.
My job was going next and I also drove my car illegally a couple of times
My job was going next and I also drove my car illegally a couple of times
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
Hi and welcome getschwifty 
Not everyone here started sober
I started right here - looking for help to stop drinking...reading what others had done...asking questions, looking for support for myself and giving it to others
Read around - find out what others are doing and find the way that makes sense to you. As Delilah noted, I'm a plan guy...I think they're vital. You'll find a lot of info here :
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
I also recommend the Class of November support thread. Its for everyone quitting this month. All you have to do to join is simply post in it
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-3-a-4.html
D
Not everyone here started sober
I started right here - looking for help to stop drinking...reading what others had done...asking questions, looking for support for myself and giving it to others
Read around - find out what others are doing and find the way that makes sense to you. As Delilah noted, I'm a plan guy...I think they're vital. You'll find a lot of info here :
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html
I also recommend the Class of November support thread. Its for everyone quitting this month. All you have to do to join is simply post in it
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-3-a-4.html
D
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Lots of good comments. Especially from Dee and especially on what you have not lost- yet.
To answer your question literally: quit. I went cold turkey from a very heavy vodka habit- about a handle every two days- -and while many will tell you this is not medically advisable, I chose the unknown effects of that over certain death.
I started AA after extreme resistance for a number of years and it is my lifeline. I work a hard program daily, including non-AA work such as devotions , and usually four to six meetings a week. I have a strong sober support network and don't allow unsupportive people in my life, period. My life is not what I ever expected and better than I could have imagined.
That all started with the decision to quit. Then going to meetings, surrendering to my alcoholism and learning how to live a life of recovery.
Good luck.
To answer your question literally: quit. I went cold turkey from a very heavy vodka habit- about a handle every two days- -and while many will tell you this is not medically advisable, I chose the unknown effects of that over certain death.
I started AA after extreme resistance for a number of years and it is my lifeline. I work a hard program daily, including non-AA work such as devotions , and usually four to six meetings a week. I have a strong sober support network and don't allow unsupportive people in my life, period. My life is not what I ever expected and better than I could have imagined.
That all started with the decision to quit. Then going to meetings, surrendering to my alcoholism and learning how to live a life of recovery.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,462
Nice to meet you,
I think I started everyday for ten years. I always failed but feel like a learned a little each time. When I finally wanted it badly enough and found SR things kind of all came together. In the beginning I read everyday in the " stories of recovery " forum. I think I have read them all. It was extremly motivating to me. It all started with day one. Good luck
I think I started everyday for ten years. I always failed but feel like a learned a little each time. When I finally wanted it badly enough and found SR things kind of all came together. In the beginning I read everyday in the " stories of recovery " forum. I think I have read them all. It was extremly motivating to me. It all started with day one. Good luck
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 793
I made sure I had a few days where I didn't have to be anywhere or do anything in particular and just got through the first few days drinking lots of tea and coming here to read and sometimes post.
I worked out when/where/what was going to be hard and started thinking about how to deal with it before I got there. As I found out yesterday, you can't always avoid cravings, but it helps to plan ahead.
I worked out when/where/what was going to be hard and started thinking about how to deal with it before I got there. As I found out yesterday, you can't always avoid cravings, but it helps to plan ahead.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Hey Gets
I completely relate to where you are. In order to stop you have to 'simply' stop. If you can't stop on your own, there are rehabs and/or detox facilities that can help you get stopped. For me its staying stopped that has been the challenge.
Acceptance of and surrender to the fact that I cannot control my drinking is the foundation.
A program, plan, whatever one wishes to call it is also a must. You'll hear that one has to 'work' a program. That it is 'hard' work. Frankly, the hard work was staying dedicated and chained to active alcoholism. The mental obsession, the physical pain, the emotional drama, the pain it caused loved ones, the health issues, the career issues. Then the legal issues, financial issues. All for a beverage. The only people that can tolerate that hell and even deny its huge negative effect are alcoholics.
It is a progressive condition. Left untreated and it does get worse. You can do this if you really want change. And believe me, while its a daily commitment, it is much easier than being alcohol's bitch.
I completely relate to where you are. In order to stop you have to 'simply' stop. If you can't stop on your own, there are rehabs and/or detox facilities that can help you get stopped. For me its staying stopped that has been the challenge.
Acceptance of and surrender to the fact that I cannot control my drinking is the foundation.
A program, plan, whatever one wishes to call it is also a must. You'll hear that one has to 'work' a program. That it is 'hard' work. Frankly, the hard work was staying dedicated and chained to active alcoholism. The mental obsession, the physical pain, the emotional drama, the pain it caused loved ones, the health issues, the career issues. Then the legal issues, financial issues. All for a beverage. The only people that can tolerate that hell and even deny its huge negative effect are alcoholics.
It is a progressive condition. Left untreated and it does get worse. You can do this if you really want change. And believe me, while its a daily commitment, it is much easier than being alcohol's bitch.
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