LifeChanges

The holidays will be difficult. My family is always drinking for every occasion. I readily admit I have probably been the worst. I'm not looking forward to questions on why I'm not having any wine. But I'm not ready to share that I'm not drinking anymore. Of course I can put some juice in a glass and hope no one questions it.
How soon did you share your sobriety? Did you have any regrets about your timing?

thomas11

I still haven't made any announcement and its been about a year. Sobriety is my journey, if someone asks I just say "not tonight, but thanks". Its usually left there without too much fuss.

Maudcat

Hey, Thomas. You might be surprised at how little interest there will be in your decision. As long as you are not making anyone else put down the drink, you should be fine, lol. I shared with my immediate family and one or two good friends fairly early on in my sobriety. I simply said that I was not liking my alcohol intake and was putting the brakes on for a bit. At events and family dinners, I just always had a glass of ginger ale in my hand. Peace.

Anna

I didn't tell anyone, and 'No, thanks' always worked for me.

I had let my family down in the past, so I just did it and allowed them to see the changes in me.

MissPerfumado

I agree that your sobriety is your business and there's no need to explain it.

In my case, I thought it would be in fact simpler to be up front with my family for reasons of accountability and because I feel it necessary to maintain honesty in my relationship with my mum and siblings. I was easily the biggest drinker in a pretty big-drinking family and there would've been no hiding it. But every family dynamic is different.

The only thing that you might want to ask yourself is whether you're avoiding mentioning it so as to avoid being accountable.

Michelle644

I didn't tell anyone except my Husband the rest of friends and family I just said not tonight. If someone said...."Oh, just one. I would say my blood pressure raises to much which is the truth. I failed so many times I didn't want to disappoint anyone any more.

totfit

I agree with this for the most part. I just say, "it just doesn't agree with me", typically if someone ever asks, but no one does. It is a lot bigger issue in our heads that for others. Of course my extended family knows, because it has been quite a journey. Others, I share with when I think it good for them or myself.

LifeChanges

Two reasons I hesitate to share
#1 my family is super gossipy
#2 another family member is fairly new to heroin addiction recovery
It sounds really weird but I don't want them to think I'm attention seeking. And besides I'd rather not have to discuss it with each person as I know they will each get in touch separately. Not for 100% support either

Dee74

I overthought it. I assumed that everyone obsessed about drinking like I did.

Like Anna I reckon no thanks works - even with family.

If they ask why, reply with why not

'No thanks - I'll have a soda tho' is also a good one because it doesn't really invite an reply let alone an argument.

Family can push our buttons....but you are in supreme control of what goes into your body. You never have to drink again

If it's really difficult, limit your time with them and other drinkers as much as you can.

It might mean playing with the kids, walking around outside or sitting in the bathroom for a while...or it may mean not going to everything.

I didn't do a family Xmas at all the first year.

D

doggonecarl

I told a friend within a week that I had quit. It was a cookout, he asked me if I wanted a beer and I said, "No, I'm quitting." He asked my why, and I told him.

The only reason I suggest that people tell those close to them that they are quitting is this: If you are avoiding telling anyone so you can change your mind and drink without being called out on it, then you need accountability and should tell people. You don't have to explain why, but I feel you can and should tell people that you no longer drink.

SnazzyDresser

I told a couple of my friends recently, roughly 4 months in, one who drinks too much and one who freely admits to being a drunk. The drinker was very supportive, and the drunk joked with me a little about converting me back but in a good-natured way. I doubt I ever tell my parents or brother, we're not that close that way.

Gottalife

There are many stories of alcoholics avoiding the fatal first drink precisely because some of the people around them knew how dangerous alcohol was to them. I had an experience last year where a friend noticed a virgin cocktail I ordered had turned into the real thing. He told me before I drank any. A chap I sponsored was three months sober, and doing great. He went home one evening and there was a bit of a part going on. Familiar territory for him. Someone offered him a drink, he said thanks and was about to take a sip when his sister knocked it out of his hand. He couldn't believe how careless he had been. Close call.

soberlicious

For some, quitting is something they talk about, for some, it's a deeply personal journey and not something they feel like discussing with anyone or only a select few.

The cool thing is that this is your decision and you get to make it to suit you. If my family were gossipy like you described yours as, I wouldn't have told them.