hearthealth

H had been better since the broken plate incident, no anger or aggression. After dinner I retreat upstairs and spend time with the children on homework or playing. I may venture downstairs to do dishes or get a glass of water. I'm getting tired of not having a relationship with my H. I noticed today, I don't even know when he has to get up for work. His schedule varies so much. Whenever I try to talk to him I get short answers. I realize all our discussions revolve around *him*. I'm just tired of this relationship.

Hangnbyathread

Yep. Been there done that. You know it's time to go. Make a plan. Carry it out. I spent 2 years thinking it would pass and it would get better.

Time I will never get back.

firebolt

You deserve much, much better.

dandylion

hearthealth.....do you have any sort of plan for the future?
What can we help you with?

hearthealth

Dandelion, thank you. I come to SR to vent and to receive internal barometer validation. I plan to get through the holidays and then on or about Jan 2 have him served. I will contact DV to see what I need to do to protect the children.
I don't know the scenario of having him served and his reaction. I know he doesn't want a divorce but he also doesn't want to change. I don't want a divorce but I definitely don't want to continue like this for myself or as a model to our children. I just don't want this to appear as I'm having a "temper tantrum" either. I don't want to come back to the same old same so. I don't know how to do it alone either.

knowthetriggers

This is a good place to vent.

Praying for you

dandylion

Hearthealth....you don't have to do it alone. This forum will have your back. there are lots of members, here, that have gone through each and every step that you are thinking about....
If you keep posting, as you go long, I KNOW that you will h ave lots of responses each time...and you will get lots of advice (if you want it) and encouragement and hope....
Support is so essential....
You are right to contact the DV people...they deal with these situations all the time. They know where the "rocks in the water" are.
They will help you with the detailed planning....and they can direct you to the resources that you need. Lean on them! That is what they are there for....

There is no way that you would have to be having a "temper tantrum".
You can actually plan for how to navigate the actual day of letting him know or having him served.....
You really do need the input of others,on this....I can imagine, that, right now...it seems like a foggy unknown to you...and, that allows your imagination to go to all kinds of worse scenarios....The concrete planning will give you much more self confidence.

Think of this---you have been able to deal with all the crap that has come your way, so far..and you are still standing!! Trust me...you have what it takes to make it through this, also.....

hearthealth

SR is amazing and I wish I had all this support two years ago. The advise is always welcome as I set my path. Something went on that I no longer can see my footer so I can't see or thank people for their responses.

firebolt

(((HUGS)))) I can't wait to see how your life changes on the other side of this. Sending you support and peace with your decision.

Lilro

Good Morning Heart

Good for you, you have a plan of action. We've been there alright. Myself, twice. Thankfully the second time I wasn't married so it was monetarily easier to leave... The heart, not so much.
You must know that unfortunately you are doing the right thing for yourself and your children. Alcoholism is such a selfish disease isn't it? Nows your time to be selfish, you've got kids counting on you! Always keep that in mind when making decisions for your future, lead by example my love, the rest will follow.
I'm sorry for your situation and know it's hard during this time of year but GOOD FOR YOU!! We've got you girl!! Head up...