Well now...time to wrangle in my anger!!

Old 11-15-2016, 03:43 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
knowthetriggers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 865
Well now...time to wrangle in my anger!!

Boy oh boy have my eyes been open. Yeah I was on "my side of the street" (obviously not) but also feeding off of my teenagers anger. And I mean FEEDING off of it!

I recognized today that over the last week my AH has admitted he was powerless over alcohol and admitted he needs help, admitted he has a disease. The girls had their moment to speak what was on their minds and so did I, we all came to an understanding....or did we??

I find myself feeding off my teens negative energy. Yeah, he admitted this and said that but what is he doing about it, when will he do it, why isn't he jumping to get help he said he needed it.... I sound just like her, or she sounds just like me...??? For the last couple of days he has been flogged by me and our teen and today he said "that really doesn't help me ya know" and I know he is right. Alanon 101, he beats himself up enough, doesn't need my help, stop playing victim...

Now time to focus on me, I am working really hard to release my anger/disappointment. Time to take all this wasted energy and turn in around. Even my youngest made the comment at the dinner table to her dad she said "you seem to be doing much better dad".

As far as my teen....well she has her therapist appointment tomorrow and I am hoping they can work thru her anger as well.

I've said this before and I will probably say it again but it's back to step one - admitting I am powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanageable.
knowthetriggers is offline  
Old 11-15-2016, 05:58 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,884
Hey Knowthetriggers. I'm super impressed with your self-awareness and commitment to your own recovery.

Hugh Prather wrote, "Listen to your feelings but don't dance to them." Sounds like you have every reason in the world to be pissed just don't let it dictate how you act.

Big hug and let us know how things go.
Bekindalways is online now  
Old 11-15-2016, 06:46 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
AnvilheadII's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
hon, has he quit drinking?? like for good?

you'd know it if you saw it.
AnvilheadII is offline  
Old 11-16-2016, 01:22 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
knowthetriggers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 865
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII View Post
hon, has he quit drinking?? like for good?

you'd know it if you saw it.
AnvilheadII - you are correct and at the moment I don't see a sober man. Is it alcohol or pills, maybe still both, who really knows. I have a plan, this will just take a minute to put it in place, In the meantime I am trying to mind MY business to keep my peace of mind.

Just yesterday he said to me something about being patient in regards to the disease. My response to him was "I have been patient for the entire 18 years of our marriage, I'm tired". I know recovery takes time but I don't see the drive in him to recover like he had over the summer - I just don't see it,

I hate addiction....
knowthetriggers is offline  
Old 11-16-2016, 05:07 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
honeypig's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,478
Just yesterday he said to me something about being patient in regards to the disease. My response to him was "I have been patient for the entire 18 years of our marriage, I'm tired". I know recovery takes time but I don't see the drive in him to recover l
XAH told me that I had "rushed to divorce" and "hadn't given him a chance." This was after 19 years of marriage, about 18-1/2 of which he spent lying to me about one addiction or another (first thing was lying about smoking cigs, maybe 6 months after we were married).

Now granted, I didn't know what was going on right from the get-go, but the first time I learned that there were drinking problems was at least 8 years before the divorce, probably more like 9. Oh, and he told me many times that he WOULD stop drinking, "just not on YOUR schedule."

Divorced not quite a year and a half--he's still drinking. Guess he hasn't penciled that in yet in the DayRunner...
honeypig is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:11 PM.