noneever

I'm nervous. I don't know what to expect and I'm ashamed that my life has come to this.
Wish me luck.

Dee74

I really hope this can be the start of a great new chapter noneever

D

noneever

Oh ****, I dont think I can do this. I've pulled up outside and there's a group of males sitting outside and smoking and looking as though they are fresh out of jail. ****.

Dee74

Don't let appearances put you off nonever. Some of my best friends look like they've just come out of prison

At least go in and check it out - you've come this far

noneever

Oh man....

Yogini1603

I hope you went in! AA is for anyone and everyone and I've never been made to feel unwelcome as we're all in the same boat. It's scary going into a place where you don't know anyone, but say hello and introduce yourself to someone if you can as it tends to start off a chain of hellos and welcomes! If you don't feel like it, sit at the back and just listen, that's okay too :-)

However awkward you feel, you're doing something for your recovery, and that's brilliant!

PhoenixJ

Do not be ashamed of being honest and trying to get better. That shows strength NE. PJ

MissPerfumado

What Phoenix said.

Nothing to be ashamed of - you're taking action.

noneever

I did it! I went in and it was quite amazing. Every single person was welcoming and kind. I'm feeling kind of washed out- I have a lot to process. But I will say I have returned home feeling far less alone and much more hopeful.
Thanks so much dee- your responses came at the perfect time- it would have been so easy to talk myself out of going in.

Dee74

I'm really glad I was able to help noneever - but good for you!

D

PhoenixJ

I am so pleased for you. We are much more capable than we think we are. SR is such a good place to get support. Face-f AA is something essential (for me)too- or SMART-whatever it takes. Do not be ashamed of who you are when you are trying to be a better person in recovery NE. The past is exactly that. For me the acceptance of the damage I left in my wake was hard to deal with because of guilt, shame, anger at myself- comparing etc. These feelings and emotions need -for me to be carefully worked through. My emotions have woken up from where I put them to sleep in drinking. Takes time for catching up to happen. Well done- you should be proud of yourself. A good feel story (I am smiling- something I do not have reason to allow myself to accept often)- need those. Give yourself a nice treat- the fav's here seem icecream of weird flavours. I prefer ANZAC biscuits (Australian thing).
Keep posting and do not let the momentum stop. PJ

noneever

Thanks PJ- I had some crumpets with butter and jam and a hot chocolate. Read a few pages of the big book which I was given at the end of the meeting and now tucked up in bed. I love ANZAC biccies- fellow Aussie here! I'm really glad I've made you smile.

48heath

Welcome to the fellowship noneever.

You are no longer alone,as we say there are no strangers in AA,just friends we haven't met yet.

Wishing you well.

aasharon90

Try bringing a tray or box of goodies
to eat along with coffee at your next
meeting. The experience I had with
doing this as part of my service work,
kept me going back to meetings again
and again.

The reward of doing this is amazing.

I became the Sara Lee of my meetings.

DeadAndBloated

Congrats!

I'm working on going to my 1st meeting soon.

Was good to see your post this morning

August252015

Great job PJ! I found that getting into the habit of just the going to a meeting part was a hump - I got over it and AA meetings are a huge part of my sober life now.

Look forward to hearing more as you keep going to them. See you around!

MLD51

Congratulations on getting through that door! And I'm happy you had a good experience. You will find such support and healing in AA, if you open your mind and heart.

aasharon90

The more meetings you go to, the
more you will realize that you are
never alone, just like it is here in SR.

There is something that happens
to each of us the longer we remain
sober learning how to live life without
alcohol or drug. There will be a change
within us that is soooo profound that
is soooo life changing.

Each small miracle you experience
in life will give you hope for more
wonderful miracles to come down
the road.

Continue to reach out for strength
and hope here amongst your SR
friends and fellow members if you
ever reach a low point, need some
encouragement, suggestions, hope
as you take continue to take small
steps to finally walking with a quiet
strength within you armed with all
the tools and knowledge that is being
taught to you and passed on to you
by many who also took those very
firsts steps in recovery.

Thank God for the gift of cell phones,
ipads and so on to carry with you when
needing direct contact to get you thru
the doors of recovery.

I entered recovery back in 1990 when
technology wasnt as abundant as it is
now. Can you imagine the times well
back in the day? Folks did whatever they
needed and had to do to remain sober
whatever the means was.

Me, id like to have one of those neat
old cars they had back in the day to drive
to meetings.

FreeOwl

I hope you'll let go of your shame. Shame only works against us. I do understand it, very well. I had lots of it for a long time.

Letting go of shame and focusing on my CHOICE to live in sobriety really helped. We all have a past, we all have made mistakes, we all have made poor choices. Those are not US. Those do not define who we ARE TODAY.

Every day is a choice, and by going to AA today, making a CHOICE toward sobriety and acting in honor of that choice means that TODAY there is cause not for shame, but for honor in yourself.

August252015

^^I think about what FreeOwl says here, a whole lot. Choice. By my [good] choices now, I get [good] results. The shoulds, the coulds, the if onlys.....by learning that I can choose the right things and let the rest follow, things don't "happen" to me, I am not a victim anymore, and life is so much better.

Will you try another meeting? Hope you have a great sober day.