Mixed emotions
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
Mixed emotions
After a few months off of the site, I am back. I've had a pretty good run this year. More sober days than drunk days. 42 days sober... 20 days with booze, 9 days sober...4 days with booze, 63 days sober... 5 days with booze and lastly 8 days sober and rounding out three days with alcohol. I'm back on the site because I need support. I've realized I cannot do this alone. If all of my sober time this year has proved one thing, it's that I'm much happier more productive person sober than I am even as a glass of wine a night type person (which I've never been anyway!)
I WANT TO BE SOBER. I LOVE BEING SOBER.
I just really hope I can stop this self sabotaging that I've been keeping up these last few months/ years. My family has a lot of big changes happening these next few weeks, but I I'm going to do everything in my power to not let alcohol into the mix. I'm not sure the purpose of this post besides the fact that you are literally the only people that know what I'm going through, and I need some accountability. Technically, November 15th 2016 will be my day one. And I hope it's the last day one I ever ever ever ever ever have.
I WANT TO BE SOBER. I LOVE BEING SOBER.
I just really hope I can stop this self sabotaging that I've been keeping up these last few months/ years. My family has a lot of big changes happening these next few weeks, but I I'm going to do everything in my power to not let alcohol into the mix. I'm not sure the purpose of this post besides the fact that you are literally the only people that know what I'm going through, and I need some accountability. Technically, November 15th 2016 will be my day one. And I hope it's the last day one I ever ever ever ever ever have.
But I got sober for good and so can you. 
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Welcome back, Pinot! It's good to see you.
What do you think you can add to your recovery program to prevent a relapse? What happens when you decide to drink again? I was a chronic self-sabotager, too and ultimately I had to deal with the fact that I didn't believe I deserved a good life.
What do you think you can add to your recovery program to prevent a relapse? What happens when you decide to drink again? I was a chronic self-sabotager, too and ultimately I had to deal with the fact that I didn't believe I deserved a good life.
The road goes on forever
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Southern USA
Posts: 1,107
I'm with you on this one....
Your words are so true - Repeat them over and over.
I WANT TO BE SOBER.
I LOVE BEING SOBER.
Say it 10 time real fast... (well not too fast).
Such a positive mantra.
Your words are so true - Repeat them over and over.
I WANT TO BE SOBER.
I LOVE BEING SOBER.
Say it 10 time real fast... (well not too fast).
Such a positive mantra.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by Anna 
Welcome back, Pinot! It's good to see you.
What do you think you can add to your recovery program to prevent a relapse? What happens when you decide to drink again? I was a chronic self-sabotager, too and ultimately I had to deal with the fact that I didn't believe I deserved a good life.
What do you think you can add to your recovery program to prevent a relapse? What happens when you decide to drink again? I was a chronic self-sabotager, too and ultimately I had to deal with the fact that I didn't believe I deserved a good life.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back Pinot! Sounds like you have some good plans in the wings, AA can certainly be a great place to find support as well as here on SR. We do understand and many of us have been there before. I have to ask though, why not quit today? I planned on quitting tomorrow more times than I can count and it almost always failed on me.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I hope so too Pinot.
I cant overemphasise tho - hope is important but it's action that brings change.
If you're committed to change, be committed to actions that reflect the change you want to see
D
D
I cant overemphasise tho - hope is important but it's action that brings change.
If you're committed to change, be committed to actions that reflect the change you want to see
D
D
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Welcome back Pinot! Sounds like you have some good plans in the wings, AA can certainly be a great place to find support as well as here on SR. We do understand and many of us have been there before. I have to ask though, why not quit today? I planned on quitting tomorrow more times than I can count and it almost always failed on me.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by Dee74
I cant overemphasise tho - hope is important but it's action that brings change.
D
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by MidnightRider
I WANT TO BE SOBER.
I LOVE BEING SOBER.
Say it 10 time real fast... (well not too fast).
Such a positive mantra.
Thank you Midnight!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by PinotNOmore
Totally agree. And thank you! Two things that have changed recently... I'm no longer worried about what people think, and I actually really want to do this! (Hopefully that one will push me in the right direction!)
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