Still Failing..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 258
Still Failing..
I just can't quite seem to get it together.
I love being sober. Feeling in control.
But I must like being buzzed more because sober doesn't last long.
I'm doing a little better than a few months back after my brother died.
At least I haven't fallen back into the dark abyss I used to be in with hard liquor a few years ago. But what I'm still doing can still kill me.
I can at least have longer periods of sobriety and can get out of bed in the morning and not sleep all day.
I think I'm learning not to put myself down as often but I still don't have the confidence I once had. Work in progress!
I love being sober. Feeling in control.
But I must like being buzzed more because sober doesn't last long.
I'm doing a little better than a few months back after my brother died.
At least I haven't fallen back into the dark abyss I used to be in with hard liquor a few years ago. But what I'm still doing can still kill me.
I can at least have longer periods of sobriety and can get out of bed in the morning and not sleep all day.
I think I'm learning not to put myself down as often but I still don't have the confidence I once had. Work in progress!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
I drank for 40 years, and did LOTS of drugs, then struggled REAL HARD for a long time trying to get Sober. I made numerous big plans, fully committed to quit, but turns out it didn't work ... 'ME' (my sick self) trying to get 'ME' (my sick self) well.
Finally, after quitting, failing, moderating, failing, promising, failing (sounds nonchalant here, but it was face-in-the-asphalt, gut-wrenching ugly, for my family especially) ... I agreed to actually WORK the 12 steps of AA.
I am now 3 years Sober. I now realize my spiritually diseased self, couldn't fix my spiritually diseased self, but thru the work, it happened.
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... and I KNOW U can B 2
Finally, after quitting, failing, moderating, failing, promising, failing (sounds nonchalant here, but it was face-in-the-asphalt, gut-wrenching ugly, for my family especially) ... I agreed to actually WORK the 12 steps of AA.
I am now 3 years Sober. I now realize my spiritually diseased self, couldn't fix my spiritually diseased self, but thru the work, it happened.
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE ... and I KNOW U can B 2
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 258
I've drank for 30 years.. Time to get off the ride.
I've been fortunate so far but honestly how long do I think I get away with this insanity?
Because it's insane! If I could get the help I need I would.
I made an appointment once, for a women's rehab based on income, the first question that was asked was "did the court send me?" Her office was such a mess and disorganized it was more dysfunctional than I was.
AA is hard for me because of social anxiety. I'm trying to push myself to leave my house. I've lost 3 people in a year and a half, 2 grandmothers and my 25 yr old brother. Grief on top of trying to get sober is extremely hard. I'm using SR to try to cope.
I've been fortunate so far but honestly how long do I think I get away with this insanity?
Because it's insane! If I could get the help I need I would.
I made an appointment once, for a women's rehab based on income, the first question that was asked was "did the court send me?" Her office was such a mess and disorganized it was more dysfunctional than I was.
AA is hard for me because of social anxiety. I'm trying to push myself to leave my house. I've lost 3 people in a year and a half, 2 grandmothers and my 25 yr old brother. Grief on top of trying to get sober is extremely hard. I'm using SR to try to cope.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Minnetonka, MN
Posts: 155
Originally Posted by Marissa41 
I've drank for 30 years.. Time to get off the ride.
I've been fortunate so far but honestly how long do I think I get away with this insanity?
Because it's insane! If I could get the help I need I would.
I made an appointment once, for a women's rehab based on income, the first question that was asked was "did the court send me?" Her office was such a mess and disorganized it was more dysfunctional than I was.
AA is hard for me because of social anxiety. I'm trying to push myself to leave my house. I've lost 3 people in a year and a half, 2 grandmothers and my 25 yr old brother. Grief on top of trying to get sober is extremely hard. I'm using SR to try to cope.
I've been fortunate so far but honestly how long do I think I get away with this insanity?
Because it's insane! If I could get the help I need I would.
I made an appointment once, for a women's rehab based on income, the first question that was asked was "did the court send me?" Her office was such a mess and disorganized it was more dysfunctional than I was.
AA is hard for me because of social anxiety. I'm trying to push myself to leave my house. I've lost 3 people in a year and a half, 2 grandmothers and my 25 yr old brother. Grief on top of trying to get sober is extremely hard. I'm using SR to try to cope.
I'll be thinking about you. Stay strong!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
If you're interested in AA you can join meetings on line. The program, if you choose to work the steps, can really help with social anxiety, trust issues etc.
From my personal and anecdotal experience most addicts have been through, and put themselves and others through, a lot. Kind of goes with the territory. And not drinking doesn't stop life from doing what it does. But the program can help give addicts coping tools instead of picking up a drink....which does nothing but make matters worse.
You simply have to want recovery more than anything else. That's the place to start! Hang in there.
From my personal and anecdotal experience most addicts have been through, and put themselves and others through, a lot. Kind of goes with the territory. And not drinking doesn't stop life from doing what it does. But the program can help give addicts coping tools instead of picking up a drink....which does nothing but make matters worse.
You simply have to want recovery more than anything else. That's the place to start! Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
Hello Marissa41
The Dropbox links below have Speaker Messages that specifically focus on Steps 1, 2 , and 3. Maybe try listening to these if you're having trouble getting to meetings, or between meetings.
Step 1
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/8lz8h66ut...cG0ZZsfka?dl=0
Step 2
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/276c3339g...z02Xfan2a?dl=0
Step 3
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/jz88ekh3b...fYQjd8Gna?dl=0
RDBplus3
The Dropbox links below have Speaker Messages that specifically focus on Steps 1, 2 , and 3. Maybe try listening to these if you're having trouble getting to meetings, or between meetings.
Step 1
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/8lz8h66ut...cG0ZZsfka?dl=0
Step 2
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/276c3339g...z02Xfan2a?dl=0
Step 3
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/jz88ekh3b...fYQjd8Gna?dl=0
RDBplus3
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