emme99

I am trying not to come here when I am drinking, but I am drinking and I don't know where else to turn but here. I don't know what to do. I will try again tomorrow, I am just tired of starting and failing, this was only day 2. I know I have to put more into it, it is just so hard to fight what my mind is telling me, which is to drink.

teaorcoffee

Come earlier and let us fight with you

Dee74

Hi Emme - you're welcome anytime, but I think to really get the benefit of SR, you really have to fight to come here and post before you make that decision to drink.

It's pretty early where you are isn't it?

You could make a choice right now not to give the whole day over to drinking?

A little breakfast and water might be good?

D

emme99

Thanks teaorcoffee & Dee. It's 1am. I am going to bed soon. I have kind of given up on what I used to do which was to not count the next day if I drank after midnight but I am a night person, and not counting the next day just gives me an excuse to drink the next day until midnight since I can't count it anyway. So I will count tomorrow, even if I decide to deduct a day somewhere down the road. I am so tired of starting over I can't even tell you. Thanks again for your responses

Stubbs16

Stay with it emme, I know how hard it is, and how tired you are of starting day one again and again. Keep fighting, you will get there. I feel the same way myself, how many times have I hit the restart button. Chin up hon, we are all in this together.

Dee74

My sober date is based on the day I quit cos that's the day my life changed, emme

D

joandmelandhan

Emme I know how it feels starting again (and again and again).....overwhelming and very scary. I pray you've gone to sleep now and can wake up to make another start hun. We are with you all the way.......post as much as you can and take care of yourself......xxxx

entropy1964

Hey Emme

I think you tried AA in the past. Have you thought about returning?

MLD51

My sober day is the day I quit, too. I know some people do it by the first day they had no alcohol, but the moment I finished that last drink that day, I made up my mind to quit and felt a huge weight lifted off me. I feel that's the moment I became sober, so that's when I started counting.

Emme, you can do this. The fact that you're sick and tired of starting over is great - go with that feeling. And remember it if you feel like drinking again. Remember how cruddy you feel, and how much you hate day ones.

emme99

Thank you for your responses everyone

I did try AA and I am currently attending SMART meetings. I haven't ruled out AA, there is one by my home on Saturday mornings. I went to the Monday SMART meeting but not to the one last night, and I should have gone.
Thank you again everyone.

joandmelandhan

How are you doing Emme? xxx