jeffrey542016

Is it karma, I’ve done a lot of mess up stuff early in these 54 years here? (Who’s kidding who)As I got older it just became easier to rationalize.
Is it Genetics, Mom and Dad drink, but mostly on weekends?
Is it just my luck?
These are some of the thoughts that have found permanent residence in my head. As I begin this recovery process all I think about is why didn’t I do this Sooner rather than later? So much loss, hurt, and unnecessary hardship. (OK OFF THE PITY POT)I am different without the alcohol, the fog is slowly dissipating, and I can see a little clearer. (Some good and not so good) But on day 63…I DID NOT DRINK TODAY!! COPY: 11/09/2016

Anna

Good for you on Day 63! Awesome! And, I'm glad that you are seeing things more clearly now. Like you, I did a lot of 'what ifs' when I stopped drinking. I noticed many times when I could have/should have made a better choice in my life, but I didn't. I think if you focus on how you feel today, sober, and be grateful for that, you will get past the 'what ifs'.

The amazing Maya Angelou said "I did then what I knew how to do. Now I know better, I do better."

Dee74

Hi Jeffrey

I used to wonder about this too - and indulged in some self pity for a long time.

Now I look back and I see I made some really bad decisions about how to deal with my problems.

so my answer for why me for me is 'cos I made it that way'.

Thankfully I got sober and got re-acquainted with my right mind.

It's today that counts, not yesterday

D

Mklove

Excellent going all of us, to karma, yay.

Notimetoloose

Hi Jeffrey, When ever I used to get into that loop of "Why me" I would ask myself the question, "Why not me"....it has to be someone, right!...and it could be so much worse.
I think it is great to reflect occasionally and use the outcomes and reconciliation of the reflection to propel us forward and hopefully not to repeat our mess ups.

sg1970

Congrats on 63 days Jeffrey! I spent a lot of time thinking about that too in the beginning.

Sometimes today I still think "Why me?". But it is Why have I gotten to have two years of sobriety when the odds are so low? Why did I not end up dead, or in prison, or losing everything? Why am I so fortunate? The world works in mysterious ways...

MidnightRider

Great going on 63 days!!

totfit

If I ever think, "why me", I have to answer "why not". I used to think that things happened to "other people" and not myself. I finally realized that I am "other people". As to the "why" though, I think it matters not. It just is the way it is for me and really not such a big deal. I don't drink and I have everything else in the world I can do. I drink and there is very little I can do, but drink. Easy choice if looked at rationally.

Nowsthetime

You are not alone!!!

There are lots of threads about this very same feeling, you will find them if you do a quick search.

Congrats on your time.

Keep working at it. It's so good!!!

thomas11

Congrats on 63 days Jeffrey, I believe many of us have had the same thoughts rattle around in our brains (why me). I also believe its a question that is sometimes impossible to answer, but the best way to work through it is by doing just what you are doing....staying sober and allowing our thoughts to become more lucid and clear. It sounds as if you are experiencing some small rewards along the way?