Mmartin87

I'm so sad.
I've decided on divorce and
Husband has been physically gone now for 3 weeks. He was always gone before. Hardly ever here doing god knows what and yet here I am feeling lonely and lost.

I think I got so good at faking being happy to others that I'm grieving the loss of not only my actual marriage but the fake persona I'll no longer get to hold onto and let consume me and the minds of others.
There's a major void. Don't get me wrong I love him and will always love him but I know we are no more. The trust is gone for the last time and it's almost like I don't even know him anymore.

I have my beautiful daughter and she is the love of my life and without her I don't know what I'd do. But I feel like I'm constantly trying to fight back tears. Keep standing on my two feet and do what I know best which is to make her happy.

Maudcat

Tears are good. Cry away. You will stop eventually. Everyone does. Try to reset the scene: you are embarking on a strange new voyage. You will learn fantastic things about yourself, and you will be deeply sad at times for the loss of what was. You and your daughter will grow and thrive together. Peace.

Sunshine1234

It will get better...you will be amazed at the weight you feel lifted off of you when you stop carrying around his problems. I know how scary the unknown is...I left my STBXAH with my two small children. The minute I left I felt peaceful despite all the chaois I was enduring. Your daughter deserves a safe happy environment and you are giving her that. It's priceless. Let yourself grieve and go through all the emotions. It will get better. Hugs!

lillian

Sorry you're hurting. Three weeks is nothing- this is all brand new, so don't expect more than being heartbroken and scared. And feeling lonely WILL go away/change. you're going to be okay. it's painful. try not to be afraid to ask your friends and family for help/let people know what you're going through.

PseudoWidow

So sorry. I wish I couldn't relate, but I can. I haven't seen my husband since May. It does her easier, but it is still difficult at times. The more that you can focus on positive, and how you can keep you and your daughter's life moving forward, the easier it will be. Baby steps are fine. Even s step back is ok too. Emotions will come, and it's ok. Just keep trying. Anything.

Ann

There is a hole in your life, where he used to be with all the anxiety, fear and sad emotions that went with it. It takes time to heal that wound.

Sometimes it helps to take extra special care of yourself and your daughter, maybe do some "happy" things together like going to a movie or having a picnic somewhere in nature that is beautiful. She probably needs some healing too and together you can fill that void caused by addiction.

Hugs to both of you.

needingabreak

I am so sorry for the loss and loneliness you are feeling. You need time to grieve your loss and the unknown but one day you will wake up and you wont cry. Then you will wake up and feel happy and on and on it will go because you will get through this and you will feel happiness again. Go with the feelings, let them come and that will help you move forward. Focus on your new life with your beautiful daughter and do things that will bring you peace and happiness. Hugs to you.

Twofish

Amen Ann and NAB,
There is hope and a light at the end of that deep dark tunnel...don't do what I did,
Which was NOTHING, waiting for my life to return to what I was used to.
Get up, dry your eyes, (take a box of tissue, theses tears come and flood your emotional "on" switch at any moment...) go for a walk, or to the store anywhere except being alone..always remind yourself that there is "HOPE"
Hugs and support and prayers to you
TF