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Party plans and a compliment.

Old 11-04-2016, 04:53 PM
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Sober-T- Dragon
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Party plans and a compliment.

So I posted not to long ago that I try not to think to far in the future. But this morning I spoke to my wife about the upcoming company Christmas parties. The first is mine, the second is hers. I'll have no problem not drinking at her party no old drinking buddies there.

At my company party, however, my 'work wife' will be looking to have a few 'cocktails' with me. So the plan is this:

First I'll be driving - My wife is not a drinker but she may have a glass of wine with dinner.

Secondly we will leave early, so that means we won't by any draw tickets to keep us there.

And finally, I'm going to wait until the week before and have a chat with my work wife.

I'm actually looking forward to having some fun with it because he is going to be so baffled. I'm going to spring it during our lunch time walk when my other good friend will be with us. In fact I may talk to my other friend first.

On another note, I also wanted to share this;

Today I was working with a fellow who's been at the company as long as I have. We know each other pretty good, having worked together on many things.

We were talking about kids and friends and stuff as we work thru our problem when turns and asks me I've started drinking coffee.

I said no, I have my one cup morning starter and that's it. Never changed. Then he said, well you seem a little hyper today. I said 'Thank you'.

I took that as a compliment. Somebody noticed that I'm a little brighter and more on the ball since I stopped drinking. It felt good.
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Old 11-05-2016, 12:49 AM
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Good luck with it and a great idea to have an exit plan and reasons for not drinking / sharing with your colleague however If you are feeling at all vulnerable and that you may struggle then a good idea maybe to cancel / not attend - I'm a company director but last year there was not a chance on this planet I could attend - the whole scenario was a none starter and the same applies this year - I know people will say you can attend and with your wife by your side for support things maybe somewhat easier but if you really do think you will find any difficulty then please consider this option too - it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.
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Old 11-05-2016, 12:52 AM
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Hi STDragon

is there any benefit to waiting til just a week before to tell your workmate?

D
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Old 11-05-2016, 04:39 AM
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Sober-T- Dragon
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Thanks for your responses, concerns and suggestions.

Right now I feel that my pride is strong enough to carry me thru. But yes, if things get dodgy we can leave the first party. However, my wife is getting an award at her party. OH yea - and my son will be bartending that one too - that makes it even easier.

My 'work wife' can be annoying at times and I didn't want him to have too much time to process this change. (We have a 28 year history together).

Now my other workmate is a different story, so yea, I could easily talk to him sooner. He would never push me or anyone into doing something they don't want to do.

Also, there are other 'respectable' people at both events I'd like to rub elbows with. It's good for the image and being sober will make it that much better.
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Old 11-05-2016, 05:24 AM
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Love that you have a plan. Lots of solid pieces there.

Your use of the word "pride" worries me a bit, though....that emotion can cut both ways and I know led me to participate in stuff I knew I shouldn't sometimes, rather than keep me focused on behavior that would truly make me proud.

Also from my experience, a hyper demeanor reads as excitability, which is a flag for me. That sensation, when I realize it, or when it comes across along the lines of agitation or a twines to others, are big signs something is disturbing me.

I also strongly echo the "don't go" option if even a tiny thought crosses your mind that makes you uneasy. Not just because of actual drinking, rather more because of emotional jeopardy, I will not be attending the annual Thanksgiving day bash our restaurant owners host.

Good luck.
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