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The worst, the best.

Old 11-04-2016, 06:24 AM
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The worst, the best.

Isn't it a strange paradox, how sometimes the "worst" habits can be the easiest to develop, while the "best" can be the hardest?

But perhaps in this paradox is a partial answer to that age-old question about the meaning of life.

Perhaps in this paradox lies the path to development of deep character.

Perhaps it is in the development of those "best" habits that we find the deepest blessings in this life.

It's relatively easy to develop habitual relationships to alcohol, drugs, partying, slothfulness..... heck, even those who don't really have a 'problem' with addiction can often be seen to have problematic habits regarding addictions.

For many of us, it is far easier to find ourselves headed to the liquor store than to the gym.

Easier to just get up and drink coffee than to wake and meditate and go for a walk.

Easier to flop on the sofa and turn on the television than to pay the bills and cut the lawn.

But it's in these smaller daily decisions that we build our habits. It may not seem like a big choice; deciding to watch a movie and clean the bathroom 'later'. But it's a choice that combines with other choices to build the momentum and kinetic direction of our life's journey.

The "Secret" to sobriety may not be a secret at all.... but rather a deepening of diligence in living. Rather a series of choices... sometimes the 'harder' choice, but the 'better' choice.

So as you go about today - perhaps it will be useful to observe the choices you are making. Even the seemingly small ones. Do I put the dish into the dishwasher, or do I leave it on the counter beside the sink. Do I take the dog for a walk or do I mess around on Facebook for another hour. Do I make a list of action items and begin to tick them off through the day, or do I let the piles continue to build up.

Though I am nearly 3 years sober, I am still working on progressing with making the "Best" choices and develping the "Best" habits.... lest I return, gradually, nearly-imperceptibly, back to the "Worst".

Happy Sober Friday everyone.

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Old 11-04-2016, 06:33 AM
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This is really great and what a way to think about things! I know that I feel better when I am more "on the ball" with my responsibilities and things that are good for me. I know that I feel worse when I slip into my old habits which almost entirely revolve around drinking and numbing out.
Last night I cleaned the kitchen and did a load of washing. That gave me more of a feeling of accomplishment than spending more money I don't have and losing hours of my life into a bottle :-)
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Old 11-04-2016, 06:57 AM
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sometimes, the very best PLAN we can have is simply planning to do "The Next Right Thing".....

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Old 11-04-2016, 07:01 AM
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What a great post! I'm having a heck of a time getting into the habit of daily flossing for Pete's sake lol

But it's in these smaller daily decisions that we build our habits. It may not seem like a big choice; deciding to watch a movie and clean the bathroom 'later'. But it's a choice that combines with other choices to build the momentum and kinetic direction of our life's journey.
There's a lot of wisdom there. We can spend years making the easier choices only to look back at a wasted life. I needed to read this today. Thank you!
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Old 11-04-2016, 09:37 AM
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So many are looking for the silver bullet of sobriety. For me the magic is a million small things done over and over
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Old 11-04-2016, 10:03 AM
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Thank you, FreeOwl, for your (as always) valuable in sights.
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Old 11-04-2016, 02:51 PM
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Yes, making healthier daily living skill decisions leads to higher quality of life.

I would interject though that whatever one can muster up in a 24 period, regardless of if they leave the cake plate on the counter and binge watch netflix at times is good enough. If......

We just don't drink.

Certainly, just not drinking isn't the end game. But there are definitely daze I have bouts of depression and don't want to do much. I still don't drink.

If I am mad, happy, sad, lonely - fit as a fiddle, Mr. Clean or pigpen; I am still an alcoholic. That doesn't change. I found change is within me. And yes, that progress can lead to much better lifestyle. I quit tobacco, most sugar and do work out.

BUT - the only requirement for waking sober is not having a drink before I go to bed.

Thoughtful thread,
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Old 11-04-2016, 04:29 PM
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Excellent post!

I have been enjoying living my life, for the last 20 months, by taking small steps daily to be the best version of me. It's working wonders. :-)

By doing this it makes my recovery world fabulous.

Thanks for sharing.
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Old 11-04-2016, 04:41 PM
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Great Post! Just read a book from Brian Tracy that covered the exact topic and it said :

Bad Habits are EASY to form but HARD to live with

GOOD Habits are HARD to form but EASY to live with
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Old 11-05-2016, 03:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Fly N Buy View Post
Yes, making healthier daily living skill decisions leads to higher quality of life.

I would interject though that whatever one can muster up in a 24 period, regardless of if they leave the cake plate on the counter and binge watch netflix at times is good enough. If......

We just don't drink.

Certainly, just not drinking isn't the end game. But there are definitely daze I have bouts of depression and don't want to do much. I still don't drink.

If I am mad, happy, sad, lonely - fit as a fiddle, Mr. Clean or pigpen; I am still an alcoholic. That doesn't change. I found change is within me. And yes, that progress can lead to much better lifestyle. I quit tobacco, most sugar and do work out.

BUT - the only requirement for waking sober is not having a drink before I go to bed.

Thoughtful thread,
I agree.

My point though is that for me, this daily focus on those actions I can take, small and seemingly inconsequential though they be, are exactly how I go to bed and wake up sober.
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Old 11-05-2016, 04:09 AM
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Spot on FreeOwl! Making smart choices is harder but so essential in recovery and in life!
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Old 11-05-2016, 09:38 AM
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Originally Posted by FreeOwl View Post
I agree.

My point though is that for me, this daily focus on those actions I can take, small and seemingly inconsequential though they be, are exactly how I go to bed and wake up sober.
I am always appreciative of those who share how they stay sober - good job!
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Old 11-05-2016, 01:03 PM
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I am trying my utmost to be ok with not trying to do too much right now. I understand what you're saying and I appreciate it- because it's something I really struggle with. I'm an all or nothing person so I really want to change that.

I know I feel happier with making good, small choices. I need to stop the run away train that tends to happen when I make impulsive choices that I can't tell what's good or bad anymore.
Still under a fog of sick though, but I dig your drift. Thanks for the insightful post FreeOwl.
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Old 11-05-2016, 05:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Delizadee View Post
I am trying my utmost to be ok with not trying to do too much right now. I understand what you're saying and I appreciate it- because it's something I really struggle with. I'm an all or nothing person so I really want to change that.

I know I feel happier with making good, small choices. I need to stop the run away train that tends to happen when I make impulsive choices that I can't tell what's good or bad anymore.
Still under a fog of sick though, but I dig your drift. Thanks for the insightful post FreeOwl.
I totally get that. In the early days, it was often only one or two "right things" I'd focus on in a day. Nowadays, sometimes it's dozens. Other days, I just need to respect my body and my need for rest, and take a down day and do something quiet and soulful for myself.

Please don't allow your inner critic to take my offering as a judgement that you're "not doing it right" or "not good enough". Because you're doing great. Just ask yourself what parts of it resonate for you and what you think you CAN take from it.... one day at a time.....

You can do it!

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Old 11-05-2016, 05:27 PM
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Totally need this and it's so true.

Thanks!
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