joshlyman

This is my first year missing out on my local bars annual Halloween party. It's always a ton of fun....isn't it?

Not really. Fun for the first hour maybe but the night inevitably ended the same, me being stupid drunk, forgetting most of the night, and waking up embarrassed and full of shame.

But still... suffering terrible "fomo" (fear of missing out) right now. Getting Snaps from people at the party, texts from friends saying they're sorry I didn't go because it's so much fun. I'm sure it's a blast. For them.

I feel very, very good about my decision not to go and to stay sober. I know the FOMO will go away soon. Just wish it would go away sooner rather than later, lol. As much "fun" as I am missing, I am so grateful that I will wake up tomorrow morning hangover-free and not hating myself.

kevlarsjal

When I feel like I miss out on something or am jealous of other people cause they can drink when I can't I'll try to fast forward 10 years and ask myself if I care about not drinking that day in October 2016. Probably not. But I sure would be happy and proud that I made the decision to stay sober and stuck to it. So I'm not missing out on anything of any importance.

Austin4Wyo

Last I checked, my perception of the "good times" wasn't consistent with reality. I thought I was a dancer, but I was just drunk. I thought I was clever and funny, but I was just as often crude and obnoxious. I thought I was a ladies man, which is just another term for womanizer.

I guess I don't relate to FOMO on particular dates. When it came to drinking, I drank every day, holiday or not. Letting Halloween pass without being canned is, by and large, like letting any other night when I wasn't a dancer, clever and funny, or a ladies man pass by.

I've been drunk and I've been sober. November 1 is immeasurably better when October 31was sober.

svenissober

A blog post comes to my mind:

https://aspiritualevolution.net/2015...lic-horsecrap/

Ooona

Great blog post. I bookmarked the blog for future reading too!

Thanks!!

MIRecovery

My Halloween was enjoying all the little adorable munchkins and giving out candy. Our lives have to change or we are condemned to stay the same

LadyBlue0527

I LOVE that blog post! Thanks svenissober! This is the best, "Sobriety fills my life to the brim, and I know it." I also have bookmarked it because I think it's the best place to go on those rare occasions that I see my old drinking buds posting pics when they're out and about.

Back to the OP. joshlyman, this is the first time I've heard of FOMO. I was invited to go to a music festival that happens every Sunday here. I politely declined because I know what that day is really all about for my friends. I began to think about the whole FOMO. Then, I removed alcohol from the entire equation in my mind. I tested how much FOMO I felt if there were no alcohol present. Oddly, that whole feeling went away. This proved to me that my FOMO had nothing to do with missing out on going somewhere with friends, listening to music, and all the fun that everyone was having. It was my drinking mind and its old ways of fear of passing up the opportunity to drink. So for me, it's not FOMO, it's FOMOOD. Fear of missing out on drinking. I don't feel this way anymore but boy, when I hadn't yet accepted that I can't drink, it definitely was a MOOD for sure!

If you think about that party and remove all the alcohol and make it a dry party do you still feel the same about FOMO?

It was good to see that you didn't attend and you played the tape. You know how the night would have ended.

Keep it up, there will come a day where those things not only don't interest you anymore, they will bore you. 99% of the time it has nothing to do with the event, it's the opportunity to drink that's the true enticement.

FLCamper

Good thought! I used to be inclined to go out at every opportunity and drinking was a prime motive. Now the focus is on the actual event.