Exactly 1 year ago today
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 715
Exactly 1 year ago today
One year ago today was a Saturday. I remember it well because it was my birthday weekend and my Xabf and I had plans to spend the day together, hand out candy for Halloween and then go to the local casino to have dinner, listen to a friends band who was playing there that night and celebrate my day. Instead what I got for my birthday was my Xabf being drunk by 11am, embarrassing me with talk of how " hot" a 17 year old girl was in front of a neighbor and him passing out by 5pm. I went back to my own home at that point and spent the rest of the night handing out candy to the kids in my neighborhood. I waited until 11:00 the following morning to call him fully expecting an apology. Instead what I got was an " I am sick and tired of apologizing to you, you are 52 years old, get over it ". Nice, right? That was the straw that finally broke the camels back.
Exactly one year ago tomorrow I blocked him from my phone, email and facebook accounts. It was time to take control back of MY LIFE.
This past year has been a work in progress for me. Luckily I haven't run into him anywhere so that's a plus. I have however had to contact him to tie up loose ends ( shared bank accounts and phone service ) and even at that I waited about 5 months after no contact to reach out. He's currently back on block. I have nothing to say to him and quite frankly don't want to hear from him or about him. The further away I get from that awful last day the more I see clearly, I don't need any static from the peanut gallery trying to convince me that things were not as bad as they were.
What have I done for me this year?? For starters I no longer sit at home on the weekends watching a grown man get intoxicated, that's a plus. I have gone where I want, done what I want. I rolled the dice and went away for a long weekend with a male friend from my past. We had a great time, no chemistry however. That's ok. He taught me in one weekend how I should expect to be treated by a man. Respectful, courteous, it was all about me. It's funny, when I told him that no man has ever treated me such a way he looked at me like I had 5 heads! His one sentence reply completely changed my shift in thinking " why would you expect to be treated in any other way?" Lightbulb moment for sure! Some day I will thank him for that!
There have been so many positives this past year. Has it been rough at times? Sure. Do I miss his face sometimes? Sure. Has it been enough for me to want to go back into the black hole of craziness?? OH HELL NO!
My life is now MINE. To do whatever I WANT with it. I plan on making it a great one! I want to thank you ladies for your advice, honesty and encouragement this last year. I truly don't know how I would have navigated through without you.
End story is........ There is happiness on the other side... Keep your chin up and keep moving forward.
Exactly one year ago tomorrow I blocked him from my phone, email and facebook accounts. It was time to take control back of MY LIFE.
This past year has been a work in progress for me. Luckily I haven't run into him anywhere so that's a plus. I have however had to contact him to tie up loose ends ( shared bank accounts and phone service ) and even at that I waited about 5 months after no contact to reach out. He's currently back on block. I have nothing to say to him and quite frankly don't want to hear from him or about him. The further away I get from that awful last day the more I see clearly, I don't need any static from the peanut gallery trying to convince me that things were not as bad as they were.
What have I done for me this year?? For starters I no longer sit at home on the weekends watching a grown man get intoxicated, that's a plus. I have gone where I want, done what I want. I rolled the dice and went away for a long weekend with a male friend from my past. We had a great time, no chemistry however. That's ok. He taught me in one weekend how I should expect to be treated by a man. Respectful, courteous, it was all about me. It's funny, when I told him that no man has ever treated me such a way he looked at me like I had 5 heads! His one sentence reply completely changed my shift in thinking " why would you expect to be treated in any other way?" Lightbulb moment for sure! Some day I will thank him for that!
There have been so many positives this past year. Has it been rough at times? Sure. Do I miss his face sometimes? Sure. Has it been enough for me to want to go back into the black hole of craziness?? OH HELL NO!
My life is now MINE. To do whatever I WANT with it. I plan on making it a great one! I want to thank you ladies for your advice, honesty and encouragement this last year. I truly don't know how I would have navigated through without you.
End story is........ There is happiness on the other side... Keep your chin up and keep moving forward.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Lilro, thanks for taking the time and effort to post that update. It's really astounding what we accept as being "normal" or "good enough", isn't it? Glad you've seen the light and are taking care of yourself now.
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