Not a newcomer to SR but a newcomer to Sobriety
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Middlesbrough
Posts: 14
Not a newcomer to SR but a newcomer to Sobriety
I joined SR and was determined to log on regularly and engage in conversation with like minded people who suffer with the same illness.
As usual in with a bang and out with a whimper. Story of my drinking life really. I stop drinking and have a desire to stop and stay stopped but I always revert back to old behaviours so this time I am going to try my hardest to stick to the programme.
My problem is denial and after 30+ years drinking it finally sunk in.
I was on a bus coming home from a successful job interview and all of a sudden the compulsion to drink was there.After one drink I know I cannot stop . The fear was there and that is terrifying for me. My head told me there and then I am an alcoholic and I need to accept it. My body went and drank.The inevitable happened and I awoke in a friends house after a really bad fall. I drank for a few more days in my pitiful state. I have never accepted that drink would beat me until then and it felt pretty grim that I cannot control an inanimate substance. Then I thought I can if I remember 2 things .
1. I am an alcoholic
2. I don't have to drink again
No more denial and living in fear again because being 57 years old and living in fear is a sad way to live.
I have been fortunate in my life as I have not lost everything through drinking but it will eventually disappear if I continue.
The reason for writing this is I need support through this period and for a long time to come to help me with the denial that always seem to creep back in.
I would like support from people who have had the same experiences so know what I am and have gone through.
Life is too short for regrets
As usual in with a bang and out with a whimper. Story of my drinking life really. I stop drinking and have a desire to stop and stay stopped but I always revert back to old behaviours so this time I am going to try my hardest to stick to the programme.
My problem is denial and after 30+ years drinking it finally sunk in.
I was on a bus coming home from a successful job interview and all of a sudden the compulsion to drink was there.After one drink I know I cannot stop . The fear was there and that is terrifying for me. My head told me there and then I am an alcoholic and I need to accept it. My body went and drank.The inevitable happened and I awoke in a friends house after a really bad fall. I drank for a few more days in my pitiful state. I have never accepted that drink would beat me until then and it felt pretty grim that I cannot control an inanimate substance. Then I thought I can if I remember 2 things .
1. I am an alcoholic
2. I don't have to drink again
No more denial and living in fear again because being 57 years old and living in fear is a sad way to live.
I have been fortunate in my life as I have not lost everything through drinking but it will eventually disappear if I continue.
The reason for writing this is I need support through this period and for a long time to come to help me with the denial that always seem to creep back in.
I would like support from people who have had the same experiences so know what I am and have gone through.
Life is too short for regrets
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Originally Posted by theVman31 
Hi there,
I confirm this phrase :
And i am in this PHASE :
"Posting here regularly in the early days helped me remember what I know know is true"
I cannot touch one drink (the first one)
See you soon
I confirm this phrase :
And i am in this PHASE :
"Posting here regularly in the early days helped me remember what I know know is true"
I cannot touch one drink (the first one)
See you soon
Me tooooo
Welcome back SWH!
It's always good when we're able to come back, so I'm very glad you did.
Did you ever try working a recovery plan?
How are you feeling today?
I agree with you, life is too short for regrets. Hopefully tomorrow can be a brand new day for you to rewrite you plan
Human
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Earth
Posts: 183
Welcome back! A successful job interview, although a positive change, still triggers emotions. Sometimes any emotion is enough to cause a craving. We're only human, and creatures of habit!
So glad you have tried to find your way back to your sober path, and including us in the journey. That already makes today a good day. In for tomorrow too? we'll be here if you will be too!
So glad you have tried to find your way back to your sober path, and including us in the journey. That already makes today a good day. In for tomorrow too?
we'll be here if you will be too!
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