Not getting anything done
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 523
Not getting anything done
I've been drinking almost daily (morning / noon till night) cause I felt like it helped me to get through the day, to fight off this paralysing feeling of anxiety.
Today I'm sober for a full week and of course that itself is a huge achievement but I haven't been able to do anything really. I barely have any energy because I can't sleep much and all the energy that's left goes into not drinking and dealing with my anxiety. I haven't been able to cook a nice meal for myself (what I usually enjoy) or to clean or to do some important paper work that really must be done. But I feel like I can't be productive without the booze and it's such a frustrating feeling...
To all of you who had the same problem, how long did it take you to be able to deal with everyday life again? What helped you to get at least the most basic / most important things done? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Today I'm sober for a full week and of course that itself is a huge achievement but I haven't been able to do anything really. I barely have any energy because I can't sleep much and all the energy that's left goes into not drinking and dealing with my anxiety. I haven't been able to cook a nice meal for myself (what I usually enjoy) or to clean or to do some important paper work that really must be done. But I feel like I can't be productive without the booze and it's such a frustrating feeling...
To all of you who had the same problem, how long did it take you to be able to deal with everyday life again? What helped you to get at least the most basic / most important things done? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
The first week is tough, but it will get better. I made a list of things I wanted/needed to accomplish in a week and then each day I scratched off a couple of items. It was really important to me to feel like I was accomplishing something, even if it was just going to the grocery store.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
One week is super early. Try getting some light exercise. Sounds counter intuitive but it does help. Also eat small meals 3-5 times a day to keep the blood sugar up. Then I think ya gotta force yourself to do a few things a day, starting with the most urgent. Just getting some things done will feel good and will in turn help you to keep moving forward.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I felt that way for the first 6 weeks. lol Let your body rest and your brain heal. But like others have said, take some time, force yourself to do self-care and check a few things off your list every day if you can.
It will get better, you just have to start with building your own momentum instead of relying on booze. Move around, get some fresh air, clean a small area every day. Don't forget to keep reaching out and working on your recovery plan.
It will get better, you just have to start with building your own momentum instead of relying on booze. Move around, get some fresh air, clean a small area every day. Don't forget to keep reaching out and working on your recovery plan.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Florida
Posts: 874
The exhaustion for me was almost overwhelming. I'm a very high energy person and like to get my to-do list done. Those first few weeks I put it all on hold and just let myself watch TV or do what I could and did not feel guilty about not doing anything. In the long run, once you're feeling better, you'll accomplish 10 times as much sober as you did drinking.
Hang in there - you've done an amazing job going from full time drinker to a full week sober!
Hang in there - you've done an amazing job going from full time drinker to a full week sober!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
I know how you feel kev, early days were exactly the same for me and being sober in itself is not like doing something. But stay strong, your body and mind are doing a lot of cleaning up on the background, soon you ll have a lot more energy and motivation to achiev whatever you set your mind to.
Stay strong!
P
Stay strong!
P
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I know how you feel - I was VERY sick when I quit drinking in Feb. The first five or so weeks were spent just coming back to life again.
One thing I did that was a mental tool as well as a practical one is write down three things I would do each day. At first, it was stuff like 1 take a shower 2 eat 2 meals 3 make the bed. Basic stuff that, well, was about all I could do and I started training myself to count those things as accomplishments at first. That list grew, and those things that should be automatic for a functioning adult came back, and my list started to focus on other things. The mental part was giving myself credit for not drinking and simply accomplishing anything. I had to take pride in just that.
You have to go easy on yourself at the start, in particular. Rest and nutrition - I had been living on almost vodka alone by the end- were the biggest deals for me.
Everything will get better and be easier the longer you are sober. Promise.
One thing I did that was a mental tool as well as a practical one is write down three things I would do each day. At first, it was stuff like 1 take a shower 2 eat 2 meals 3 make the bed. Basic stuff that, well, was about all I could do and I started training myself to count those things as accomplishments at first. That list grew, and those things that should be automatic for a functioning adult came back, and my list started to focus on other things. The mental part was giving myself credit for not drinking and simply accomplishing anything. I had to take pride in just that.
You have to go easy on yourself at the start, in particular. Rest and nutrition - I had been living on almost vodka alone by the end- were the biggest deals for me.
Everything will get better and be easier the longer you are sober. Promise.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Those first few days are tough, be kind to yourself and listen to your body. I did add exercise, mainly yoga and walking, journaling, and reading into my plan in the beginning and still use all three.
I wish I could say I have added cooking, but it is my least favorite thing to do and so my kids eat simple meals, and lots of BBQ when dad cooks.
I wish I could say I have added cooking, but it is my least favorite thing to do and so my kids eat simple meals, and lots of BBQ when dad cooks.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Kev,
Welcome.
This place will save your life if you let it.
Keep reading and posting.
You have 5 more days than many here. Help them. It is good therapy.
Eat sweets. They trick the brain.
Protein drinks. Yogurt. Fruit. Gatorade. Water. Multi vit.
It gets better by the moment.
Welcome.
This place will save your life if you let it.
Keep reading and posting.
You have 5 more days than many here. Help them. It is good therapy.
Eat sweets. They trick the brain.
Protein drinks. Yogurt. Fruit. Gatorade. Water. Multi vit.
It gets better by the moment.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Baby steps in the beginning. just baby steps. You are healing your mind, body and spirit. Some exercise - easy and light - would be great.
Maybe you could engage in some planning of what you might do next. You might think of a few projects to embark on in the next few weeks, that you can start on bit by bit. I did a big house-clean and charity donation clear-out when I got sober but I did it over more than one weekend and didn't get started until after a few weeks of sobriety. It felt really cleansing - clearing the junk out of my life both symbolically and in reality.
Maybe you could engage in some planning of what you might do next. You might think of a few projects to embark on in the next few weeks, that you can start on bit by bit. I did a big house-clean and charity donation clear-out when I got sober but I did it over more than one weekend and didn't get started until after a few weeks of sobriety. It felt really cleansing - clearing the junk out of my life both symbolically and in reality.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi and welcome kevlarsjal
yeah, if you're like me you drank for years - it takes a little time to get out minds and bodies back together...but it will happen...and you'll get your energy back too.
You're doing the right thing by quitting - try to have faith and stay patient!
D
yeah, if you're like me you drank for years - it takes a little time to get out minds and bodies back together...but it will happen...and you'll get your energy back too.
You're doing the right thing by quitting - try to have faith and stay patient!
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 523
All of your replies were so helpful and motivating so I want to say a big thank you to everyone. I feel overwhelmed by the amount of support and positivity I received from all of you and in general in this forum.
I've been reading here a lot for the past few days and it helped me to stay strong and get through the day without drinking.
The past two days have been really tough and I almost slipped last night, I already had the vodka bottle in my hand, opened it and froze in shock cause I couldn't understand how that happened. I managed to put it away though but just felt miserable for the rest of the day. It sure taught me a lesson though cause I still tend to underestimate my problem and how cunning the addiction can be.
I can barely sleep since I quit drinking, only 3-4 hours per night and I feel like it's just getting harder and harder to fight off my AV when it comes back to torture me. And I think it knows cause it keeps coming back more frequently.
Back to the topic: I think I will definitely have to take it a bit easy and shorten my to do list. It's still the old pattern that caused me to feel so stressed that I thought I can't make it without the booze. I tend to expect too much from me and not give myself enough time to rest and to do things I enjoy.
So I decided to do 3 small things that have to be done and 3 things I would enjoy / would help me to feel better every day.
Thanks again, you are all wonderful and helped me a lot in these hard times!
I've been reading here a lot for the past few days and it helped me to stay strong and get through the day without drinking.
The past two days have been really tough and I almost slipped last night, I already had the vodka bottle in my hand, opened it and froze in shock cause I couldn't understand how that happened. I managed to put it away though but just felt miserable for the rest of the day. It sure taught me a lesson though cause I still tend to underestimate my problem and how cunning the addiction can be.
I can barely sleep since I quit drinking, only 3-4 hours per night and I feel like it's just getting harder and harder to fight off my AV when it comes back to torture me. And I think it knows cause it keeps coming back more frequently.
Back to the topic: I think I will definitely have to take it a bit easy and shorten my to do list. It's still the old pattern that caused me to feel so stressed that I thought I can't make it without the booze. I tend to expect too much from me and not give myself enough time to rest and to do things I enjoy.
So I decided to do 3 small things that have to be done and 3 things I would enjoy / would help me to feel better every day.
Thanks again, you are all wonderful and helped me a lot in these hard times!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Those 3 small things are a great idea, Kevlar.
But could I please ask why you happened to have a bottle of vodka so handy ...? If you are early in sobriety, and especially if the AV is torturing you constantly, you should not be around alcohol and you most definitely shouldn't have alcohol lying around. Pour out the vodka, I say.
If you get back to drinking, then your to do list is the least of your worries ...
But could I please ask why you happened to have a bottle of vodka so handy ...? If you are early in sobriety, and especially if the AV is torturing you constantly, you should not be around alcohol and you most definitely shouldn't have alcohol lying around. Pour out the vodka, I say.
If you get back to drinking, then your to do list is the least of your worries ...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 523
I know, you're not the only one who tells me this and you're absolutely right.
The thought of not having any alcohol in the house still makes me panic. I was relying on it for a long time and knowing it's gone would make me feel naked in a way. Knowing that it's there and it's my decision whether I drink or not gives me a feeling of safety. I know that's my AV. I am fully aware of that. Still at the moment it wouldn't seem right yet to get rid of it. I would feel pressured to do it. If I do it I want it to be my (and only my) decision to do so. This is very important to me as it's me, my sobriety and me I'm doing it for. So I want to take each step when I feel ready for it. If I don't make progress that quickly, it doesn't matter. I've always been a people pleaser and I feel this is the first thing I really do for myself and only myself in a long time.
My journey isn't just about not drinking but also about getting to know myself and being true to myself. I don't want to fake that I'm okay with completely letting go when in fact I'm not there yet. That would not be fair to myself. I know it's important and at the moment I'm preparing for that step.
This is still all very new to me. I only started questioning my drinking this summer and it was 8 days ago when I realised that I have to stop. Since then I did not drink again and it's my first attempt ever at quitting.
During these 8 days I already learnt a lot and made some good progress. On day one I was sure I was not addicted, just abusing it or maybe having slightly weird or unhealthy drinking habits but could go "back" to normal drinking (which was never the case for me). Now I feel ready to admit that I am addicted to booze and will never be able to drink like a normal person. I am pleased with the progress I made so far and it's not a race in the end.
Also as pressure and negativity are huge motivation killers for me I try to keep my recovery as positive as possible. I think for my personal success it's very important that I always feel like it's completely up to me and that I do everything cause it feels right to me deep down in my heart and not because others expect me to do it a certain way.
I know though that I'm still somewhat relying on the booze when I keep it around to make me feel safe.
After seeing the problem, admitting my addiction and the fact that I will never be able to drink like a "normal" person (that was quite a biggie for me) this is gonna be my next milestone.
My brain needs time to process all the new information and changes and still has to deal with being sober and all the emotions that come up so I don't want to rush things and then risk that I wasn't ready for the next step yet.
The thought of not having any alcohol in the house still makes me panic. I was relying on it for a long time and knowing it's gone would make me feel naked in a way. Knowing that it's there and it's my decision whether I drink or not gives me a feeling of safety. I know that's my AV. I am fully aware of that. Still at the moment it wouldn't seem right yet to get rid of it. I would feel pressured to do it. If I do it I want it to be my (and only my) decision to do so. This is very important to me as it's me, my sobriety and me I'm doing it for. So I want to take each step when I feel ready for it. If I don't make progress that quickly, it doesn't matter. I've always been a people pleaser and I feel this is the first thing I really do for myself and only myself in a long time.
My journey isn't just about not drinking but also about getting to know myself and being true to myself. I don't want to fake that I'm okay with completely letting go when in fact I'm not there yet. That would not be fair to myself. I know it's important and at the moment I'm preparing for that step.
This is still all very new to me. I only started questioning my drinking this summer and it was 8 days ago when I realised that I have to stop. Since then I did not drink again and it's my first attempt ever at quitting.
During these 8 days I already learnt a lot and made some good progress. On day one I was sure I was not addicted, just abusing it or maybe having slightly weird or unhealthy drinking habits but could go "back" to normal drinking (which was never the case for me). Now I feel ready to admit that I am addicted to booze and will never be able to drink like a normal person. I am pleased with the progress I made so far and it's not a race in the end.
Also as pressure and negativity are huge motivation killers for me I try to keep my recovery as positive as possible. I think for my personal success it's very important that I always feel like it's completely up to me and that I do everything cause it feels right to me deep down in my heart and not because others expect me to do it a certain way.
I know though that I'm still somewhat relying on the booze when I keep it around to make me feel safe.
After seeing the problem, admitting my addiction and the fact that I will never be able to drink like a "normal" person (that was quite a biggie for me) this is gonna be my next milestone.
My brain needs time to process all the new information and changes and still has to deal with being sober and all the emotions that come up so I don't want to rush things and then risk that I wasn't ready for the next step yet.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
