melissaealy

i fell real lonely today again my husband is drinking and at the momment passed out.although in a way im glad cause its quiet for now or at least intill the kids come home from school.i know when he wakes up it will start all over again.anyway i hope you all are haveing a better day then me cause im real depressed and my meds.dont help at all.hopefully one day it will all be better. :scared1:

Peaches04

Hi melissa - well, today is a great day to start putting into action all the things you've been reading about. What can you do fun for you today? Don't worry about your AH and the fact that he's passed out...think about what you can do for yourself today. I know it's hard to incorporate into your thinking (at least it was for me) - but, your mood does not have to decline in accordance with your husband's behavior. Just act like he's not there and go about your day doing the things that make you happy. Detach, detach, detach...and do something for yourself! Hugs to you sweetie!

melissaealy

ill try and thanks for your kind words they helped me alot.im also glad your night went great.

JessicaNAJ

Melissa - I am always so glad when my AH passes out (at least when he still lived at home). It was soooo peaceful then. Don't let his problem become yours. You are much more important than that.

Think of you and what you want. Like Peaches said, pretend he's not even there and enjoy the peace while you can.

I was on meds too with my AH (Prozac). It worked wonders for him... lol

Your not alone - hugs!

cwohio

melissa - like the others above said - enjoy the quiet time and do something for yourself - take a long, warm bath and relax maybe. sorry your meds aren't working and i do hope you will practice some of the things you learn here. it truly will help!

hugs - cwohio

melissaealy

this is distoring my marriage.he is awake now and already ive been crying.ifell so alone.ill just keep praying.

Peaches04

Hi Melissa - I'm waiting to hear what you have done positive for yourself today? Keep reading - that is something. You've got to make a big decision about how you want you life to be - happy or miserable? It's YOUR choice...you don't have to go down with your husband. You can learn to 'let go' and detach and take care of yourself. Here's a poem that I just saw Abtchonamission post...but, I think it may help you too...

Broken Dreams

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend.
But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How could You be so slow?"
"My child," He said, "What could I do?
You never did let go."


Hang in there sweetie... let go! Do something for yourself...just TRY it. Just for one small period of time, forget about him and your problems with him, and enjoy something!

melissaealy

no ive not done anything for myself.to be honest my depression has trained my energy.i really dont no how to let go.all thease years have been pretty much hell for me.i have had a problem battleing depression all my life and this takes the cake.i really dont have any friends where i live because all my trust worthy friends have moved away and my family lives in another state so i fell like the only friends i have is my friends on my computer.the only thing that i believe that keeps me going in my faith in god.thanks for the pome.

JessicaNAJ

For you today, go to a library or buy a book called Co-Dependant No More by Melody Beatie. It has really helped me. I think you will find comfort in this book.

Peaches04

HI Melissa...listen to Jessica...that was such a huge help to me! Tell me, what is something that you like to do?? What is something you would be doing right now if you had never met your husband?

WHYOWHY

Hi Mellisa - I feel so bad for you...cause I KNOW what BAD DAYS feel like.
I have had my share....
A book that really helped me ....is called "HOPE & HELP FOR YOUR NERVES "
By CLAIRE WEEKES
It saved my life (literally) ...some years ago
Keep posting here .........and remember that we all care about you!

melissaealy

its hard to tell what id be doing.ive been with him for 11 years & before him i was married for about 3 years & in my 1 marriage he beat on me and cheated on me alot and he left me for another wormen when i was carring our son and i had a 14th month old daughter also by him.after he left me is when my husband now started asking me out and i couldent do it because 1 i knew he was a ah and 2 i wasent ready.i went through that for 5 years and finely i decided id go out with him one time and i did and 4 years later we were married of corse after he had been sober for almost 2 years,so really i have no clue what id be doing.i frist got married when i was 17 and my life has been down hill ever sences.sad thing is my 1 husband has done alot of s---- things to me and can you believe we dident fight no where near as much as i fight with my husban now.thanks for all the great advise.

CrazyRed

Hey Melissa! I started reading this thread earlier today, but couldn't reply b/c I was at work.
It's tough when the meds don't kick in -all you can do is wait. (grrrrr)

You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

Hugs,

Red

melissaealy

ive been on my meds for many years and they still dont help.ill also pray for you.

kfa2004

Have you been on the same meds all this time? (you said many years) I know when I was taking meds they would stop working after a period of time and would have to be changed.

Hugs
Kat

melissaealy

yes ive been on the same meds.the only thing the dr.dose is up the dose cause the only thing else he can do is put me on something additive and he wont do it.where i live is a small town and theirs not many therpist to choose from.you can get out of the whole county in a blink of an eye and everybody knows everybody.to small isint it?

cwohio

melissa - i can't believe that there aren't other non-addictive meds that he can try you on. if they are not working, then you shouldn't be taking them.

it doesn't sound like you have had a chance to do anything for yourself in a long time. even if it's taking a walk alone in the beautiful fall air and looking at the leaves changing color - please try to do something to make YOU feel better.

keep posting and listening to the wise folks here - we all feel for you and support each other.

hugs - cwohio