tootiefish

The text message on my cell phone from AH reads: "Thought about what you said. You are right. I suck when I drink. I have a plan to stop. Bear with me it should work."

I have kept this message since the day it was sent, July 24, 2004, after a night of him drinking and then being mean to me. His so-called plan isn't working, so I'm not going to keep reading that message and tricking myself into thinking there really is a plan. DELETE! Now it's gone.

See, you folks have already taught me something. Actually, lots. My thoughts on this are that I'm taking it one day at a time and not holding out false hope. I didn't even feel badly when I read it this time, just detached and then hit the delete key. Although this is a really minor thing to let go of, I think all things start with baby steps.

What a great forum this is. I already feel happier and with a better outlook on life. Thank you all just for being here!

minnie

Tootie

I did the same not very long ago. I realised that all my messages from him that I'd saved were quacking. That was a BIG moment.

Well done.

Peaches04

Hi tootiefish and Minnie! I say it's all about the baby steps! Kudos to both of you...believe me, I know that was a big step towards letting go... I'm very happy for both of you. It's amazing how much more peace and serenity there is when we finally just 'let go'...it sounds so easy, but it's something I constantly work on. Congrats girls!

JessicaNAJ

Congrats to you both.

minnie

Thanks guys. I haven't come so far and so quickly as you, Peaches, but I'm getting there. This site started me on the road and I can't thank everyone enough. I don't post that much, but I take in every word that's written.

I say Well Done to everyone on here, because this is the first step for us all. And, I believe, the most important one.

Thanks again

Minnie

p.s. I laugh whenever I hear "baby steps". When my b/f was first struggling and had just started counselling, I said "you only need to take baby steps". He still, I think, believes that I was implying that he had ONLY taken baby steps. Don't they twist everything? There I was thinking I was being supportive..........

Petunia

These are the posts that keep my spirits up and sometime raise them when they are down. Please keep sharing these AHA moments and break throughs because they provide a source of joy and comfort for me.

Thanks Tootiefish and Minnie for helping to remind me of the landmines that we can lay for ourselves and how we can defuse them just as quickly. What a great read!

All the best -
Petunia

cwohio

bravo, bravo ladies!

StandingStrong

Tootie, I just recently went through our photos and got rid of the pictures that reminded me of less-than-happy times as well brought about negative feelings for me. I had held onto those pictures way too long - and it really has made me feel so much better to have gone through them. I think it's probably on the same order as that text message, having it there and being able to read it all the time, etc I'm sure brought you negative feelings. I'm very proud of you for this step that you have taken to delete it (letting it go). Good for you!!!!!!!!

tootiefish

As always, thanks everyone for your wonderful support. I wouldn't be in nearly as good a place as I am tonight if it weren't for you all. I feel like I have a wonderful new support system and that helps more than anything I can think of.

Peaches04

Hey StandingStrong...I remember your post about going through those pictures...and here you've done it!!! Congrats! I know you were dreading it! Way to go sweetie!

StandingStrong

Thank you Peaches. It truly was a wonderful step for me.
I told AH that I had gone through them and why! LOL. He just sounded kind of like "oh" - I really don't know if he understood or if he thought I was throwing out more of him than I already have - but really, I don't care. I had told him that I went through them because I offered the pictures to him. He told me to throw them away, he doesn't even want to look at them. But I have put them in a seperate box and I will give them to him later (probably when the divorce is settled or he comes to get his stuff).
But I just wanted to say Thank You Peaches. It's nice to know that someone remembered this situation.


And tootie - believe me, you did the right thing in deleting that message. No sense holding onto something that hurts, reminds you of negative thoughts and makes old wounds and hurts resurface.