Lost-Don't Know What To Do
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Colton, CA
Posts: 3
Lost-Don't Know What To Do
Hello everyone, I'm new here. I joined so I can get insight and advice on meth addiction. My girlfriend and I have been together for 10 years now. When we met she was sober. To my knowledge she began using again around 2011. She uses daily. I feel like I'm losing my mind and my sanity. For the past 4 months she has been seeing things and really feels that we are being spied on. I looked up meth psychosis and have brought this to her attention but she told me she's not crazy and that she doesn't have this. I don't know what to do anymore. I have spent money on gadgets so she can check for cameras and devices hoping that it would help her but it's only made it worse. She thinks I have involvement with whoever these people are that are spying on us. NO matter what I say or do nothing works. She feels I'm the enemy because I don't see what she sees, that' I'm lying. I don't know what to do. Has anyone gone through this or experienced this?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Hi, Broken86. Welcome. I don't have experience with meth addiction, so can't speak to it. Your SO sounds very ill and troubled. Do you have support? Friends, family? Someplace you can go if things head south fast? Good luck.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Welcome and I'm sorry for your very sad situation. I suspect that your girlfriend will have to come to a decision to help herself in order to make things better. There is not a lot you can do. I hope she decides to change her life. Have you any support for yourself? Do you have family nearby who can help you? You might also try AlAnon in your area to find support for you. Take care.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Meth addicts are some of the most dangerous...partly because of just what you have described, friend. You cannot reason with them. To argue with them and try to get them to see reality can just escalate things. She needs help. Keep reaching out. Check out the friends and family section here. Those folks really know their stuff. I've had very little exposure to meth addicts, but I was assaulted by one at work once.
AA Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 2,983
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Colton, CA
Posts: 3
Thank you all for your feedback and comments. I'm afraid to talk to my family about her addiction. I guess I don't want to hear them tell me to leave her. Her family known the situation and they tell me the same. How do you let go of someone whom you've loved for so long. She's not the same person anymore. I don't even remember the last time I laughed or smiled. I cry daily and have to pretend I live a normal life when I'm at work. I will check out some support groups in my area. I have to remind myself that there isn't any reasoning. I will always be wrong in her yes. She tells me she's going to leave me, that she can't trust me, that I don't have her back. She has threatened to leave me and leave our home. If she did, I think it would hurt but it would be easier then me leaving her. I'm not a quitter but it's to the point where my feelings don't matter. She sleeps everyday and eats, but she hasn't stopped using. She tells me she's not crazy. I told her she's not crazy, it's the drugs but she doesn't listen. She won't get help because she isn't crazy.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
you didn't cause it
you cant control it
you cant cure it
it reads like a lot of codependency issues youre dealing with, which naranon would be very helpful for you.
all of the actions youre doing, in reality, are aiding in her destruction; you are helping her destroy herself. you are enabling her to continue the same self destructive behavior.
broken, imo youre not in a relationship. youre a hostage. you meet the ransoms and new ones are set.
its time to look out for you because this situation has helped you lose yourself. time to look out for #1=YOU.
I suggest ya head over to the F&F of substance users forum here and do some reading. theres some great stickies at the top of both that forum and the F&F of alcoholics forum. read some of the threads there and even start one.
you don't deserve to live like this any more!
you cant control it
you cant cure it
it reads like a lot of codependency issues youre dealing with, which naranon would be very helpful for you.
all of the actions youre doing, in reality, are aiding in her destruction; you are helping her destroy herself. you are enabling her to continue the same self destructive behavior.
broken, imo youre not in a relationship. youre a hostage. you meet the ransoms and new ones are set.
its time to look out for you because this situation has helped you lose yourself. time to look out for #1=YOU.
I suggest ya head over to the F&F of substance users forum here and do some reading. theres some great stickies at the top of both that forum and the F&F of alcoholics forum. read some of the threads there and even start one.
you don't deserve to live like this any more!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
You've got a few issues here, friend.
One: She is a daily meth user; a meth addict.
Two: She has paranoid delusions. She has hallucinations.
Three: She is psychotic or has psychotic episodes.
Four: She is unwilling to address the issues or get help.
Five: She can still be psychotic without being diagnosed by a Dr. as being 'crazy'.
Six: How do you feel knowing someone you live with and have an intimate relationship with is using an illegal substance in your home and with your knowledge?
Seven: Getting her "gadgets" like you've described is making her delusions and hallucinations worse. It is feeding into it.
Eight: You are likely too close and too involved with her to be the one to help her.
If you choose to stay with her, it would be with the knowledge that she is doing something illegal. How do you feel about that?
Using meth is a crime. It's a felony in every state of the U.S. (if that's where you live.)
For some of us, this becomes a black and white issue. We will not have meth in our home and we will not have a relationship with someone who uses meth. Period. Does that sound cold/hard? Maybe. But you would be within your rights to do so.
One: She is a daily meth user; a meth addict.
Two: She has paranoid delusions. She has hallucinations.
Three: She is psychotic or has psychotic episodes.
Four: She is unwilling to address the issues or get help.
Five: She can still be psychotic without being diagnosed by a Dr. as being 'crazy'.
Six: How do you feel knowing someone you live with and have an intimate relationship with is using an illegal substance in your home and with your knowledge?
Seven: Getting her "gadgets" like you've described is making her delusions and hallucinations worse. It is feeding into it.
Eight: You are likely too close and too involved with her to be the one to help her.
If you choose to stay with her, it would be with the knowledge that she is doing something illegal. How do you feel about that?
Using meth is a crime. It's a felony in every state of the U.S. (if that's where you live.)
For some of us, this becomes a black and white issue. We will not have meth in our home and we will not have a relationship with someone who uses meth. Period. Does that sound cold/hard? Maybe. But you would be within your rights to do so.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Broken86 
Thank you all for your comments. You are all so right. It's so frustrating because this is the woman I love. I've given her my everything.
it may be time to look at how you define love- time to think about you and making you mentally and emotionally healthier.
2/2016
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 582
Hi, Broken,
You kniw that bit when you fly about putting the oxygen mask on yourself before anyone else? I am certain you cannot save your girlfriend before yourself.
This situation is beyond your abilities. Through no fault of yours, you alone cannot fix her. I know you love her, I can tell, but this is beyond what you can do.
Any addict of any kind needs to want to help themselves. You wanting to help her is not enough. She cannot get better if she does not help by wanting to quit.
Until I wanted to quit drinking for me, nothing my GF did or my family did was enough. No amount of love could fix me. I had to be involved.
You sound as if you live in fear. She threatens to leave you. You are afriaid. That is no way to live. You are not dealing with a logical mind, she has drugged mind. You cannot logically work on this or reason this out. Please get some support. You cannot do this alone.
You kniw that bit when you fly about putting the oxygen mask on yourself before anyone else? I am certain you cannot save your girlfriend before yourself.
This situation is beyond your abilities. Through no fault of yours, you alone cannot fix her. I know you love her, I can tell, but this is beyond what you can do.
Any addict of any kind needs to want to help themselves. You wanting to help her is not enough. She cannot get better if she does not help by wanting to quit.
Until I wanted to quit drinking for me, nothing my GF did or my family did was enough. No amount of love could fix me. I had to be involved.
You sound as if you live in fear. She threatens to leave you. You are afriaid. That is no way to live. You are not dealing with a logical mind, she has drugged mind. You cannot logically work on this or reason this out. Please get some support. You cannot do this alone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
"... I don't even remember the last time I laughed or smiled. I cry daily and have to pretend I live a normal life when I'm at work...."
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. It's a terrible way to feel about your life. I understand because I have felt this way before. I sounds like depression to me. Not even smiling? That sounds like a flat affect. You can only do so much to help her. It hurts so much because you love her so much. The woman you love so much is not that woman anymore. If that's not a enough to make a person feel depressed I don't know what is. Please get some help for you, regardless of what she does. She will use every trick in the trade to manipulate you because she knows you love her and would anything you could for her. So, it's time to get tough, when you are able. If you are truly depressed right now you're not going to be feeling up to much more that getting through work on most days. I don't know what led to her meth use, but it's a nasty nasty drug and so very destructive. Take care and sending you a big hug.
I am so sorry you are feeling this way. It's a terrible way to feel about your life. I understand because I have felt this way before. I sounds like depression to me. Not even smiling? That sounds like a flat affect. You can only do so much to help her. It hurts so much because you love her so much. The woman you love so much is not that woman anymore. If that's not a enough to make a person feel depressed I don't know what is. Please get some help for you, regardless of what she does. She will use every trick in the trade to manipulate you because she knows you love her and would anything you could for her. So, it's time to get tough, when you are able. If you are truly depressed right now you're not going to be feeling up to much more that getting through work on most days. I don't know what led to her meth use, but it's a nasty nasty drug and so very destructive. Take care and sending you a big hug.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
