Sober due to medication but not in true recovery ?
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Sober due to medication but not in true recovery ?
Hi everyone,
A relative of my ex has contacted me and told me that my ex has stopped drinking, that she has been sober for quite a while (sounds like at least a few months), and that she is behaving like her true self again to her family of origin ... but that my ex is still blaming me for the chaos that occurred during her long periods of drinking over the last few years.
A therapist told me that it sounds like my ex may have been on one of the medications which can help get a drinker physically sober, but that a medication approach without AA or a recovery program doesn't address the alcoholic thinking in the same way that AA or a recovery program does.
So sobriety vs recovery.
https://www.addiction.com/3475/pros-...se-alcoholics/ reads ...
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...ber-naltrexone reads ...
Has anyone else experienced a situation where someone gets sober on medication but is not doing the 12 steps, so even though they are physically sober the blaming of others persists ?
There is no hint towards me of an honest inventory of behaviour, no apologies, no amends, and just continued blame towards me, along with what feels like punishment of me as part of that blame.
Looking for others' experience of this kind of thing. How much difference does it make to the alcoholic thinking for people who take these kinds of medications ? Will physically not drinking without AA start to help her see her drinking from a more realistic perspective ?
Without AA / a proper treatment program, should I expect all the blame on me to continue ?
I am not sure what to expect and would appreciate hearing experiences about this.
A relative of my ex has contacted me and told me that my ex has stopped drinking, that she has been sober for quite a while (sounds like at least a few months), and that she is behaving like her true self again to her family of origin ... but that my ex is still blaming me for the chaos that occurred during her long periods of drinking over the last few years.
A therapist told me that it sounds like my ex may have been on one of the medications which can help get a drinker physically sober, but that a medication approach without AA or a recovery program doesn't address the alcoholic thinking in the same way that AA or a recovery program does.
So sobriety vs recovery.
https://www.addiction.com/3475/pros-...se-alcoholics/ reads ...
Like other medications and treatments, Antabuse is not a magic pill for curing alcoholism and should never be regarded as such. It’s a potentially effective option that supports other addiction treatments, such as talk therapy. If you truly desire lasting sobriety, you must still do the work involved in your addiction treatment. This includes examining why you drink. Once you understand your triggers, including underlying negative and painful emotions, you can learn healthier ways to cope with them.
With The Sinclair Method, people only take naltrexone before drinking and never otherwise. Naltrexone is not like antabuse - it causes no sickness when taken with alcohol and there is no noticeable change in people's drinking behavior when they first start taking naltrexone; this change in behavior only appears over time. With The Sinclair Method Naltrexone is taken one hour before drinking alcohol; the usual dosage is 50 mg although this may need some adjustment up or down to fit the individual. This results in a process called the pharmacological extinction of Alcohol Dependence. At the end of four to six months of treatment with The Sinclair Method, 80% of Alcohol Dependent subjects are either drinking moderately or abstaining from alcohol.
Pharmacological extinction works on the premise that Alcohol Dependence is a form of Pavlovian conditioning. When people drink alcohol, endorphins are released into the brain, and this reinforces the behavior of drinking alcohol. Naltrexone blocks these endorphins from binding to the brain's receptors and the alcohol drinking behavior is extinguished. Much like when Pavlov's dogs were presented with food when a bell was rung, these dogs became conditioned to salivate at the sound of the bell alone. However, when these dogs continued to be presented with the stimulus of the ringing bell in the absence of food, the behavior of salivating at the sound of the bell soon became extinguished.
Pharmacological extinction works on the premise that Alcohol Dependence is a form of Pavlovian conditioning. When people drink alcohol, endorphins are released into the brain, and this reinforces the behavior of drinking alcohol. Naltrexone blocks these endorphins from binding to the brain's receptors and the alcohol drinking behavior is extinguished. Much like when Pavlov's dogs were presented with food when a bell was rung, these dogs became conditioned to salivate at the sound of the bell alone. However, when these dogs continued to be presented with the stimulus of the ringing bell in the absence of food, the behavior of salivating at the sound of the bell soon became extinguished.
There is no hint towards me of an honest inventory of behaviour, no apologies, no amends, and just continued blame towards me, along with what feels like punishment of me as part of that blame.
Looking for others' experience of this kind of thing. How much difference does it make to the alcoholic thinking for people who take these kinds of medications ? Will physically not drinking without AA start to help her see her drinking from a more realistic perspective ?
Without AA / a proper treatment program, should I expect all the blame on me to continue ?
I am not sure what to expect and would appreciate hearing experiences about this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,144
I don't know antything about the medication aspect but it sounds like the Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde of emotional abuse. My H two years out, if the topic would come up, would blame me for all of his transgressions. He has no reason to look inside him and see the true reasons. I being in recovery can look at my faults and change my ways. I know who I am and who I am not. I don't have to take on the blame if its not correct and if it is I can accept it and work on improving it.
totfit
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Ft Collins, CO
Posts: 1,273
Personally, I think a person is sober or not depending on whether they drink or not. What a person does otherwise depends on whether they will get healthier or not. There are a myriad of ways that folks become healthy when sober. Whether using AA or not a person may become healthier or not. That being said, becoming honest with oneself takes time and some type of real self-reflection. It is just much easier for some of us to blame someone else rather than accept responsibility for our own actions. No one gets "struck honest". It is a process. Whether or not your ex ever gets honest and accepts responsibility is TBD. This is not just "alcoholic thinking", but pretty universal dishonesty and blame that a lot of unhealthy folks have. I don't think I would wait around for any amends or for the blame to stop. I would just be glad I don't have to live with the person and move on.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
A few thoughts.
Yes, to answer your original question. A person can be physically sober and live as a dry drunk. My mom did this for a long time- she wasn't drinking but much of her behavior was just like it was when she drank. It was horribly difficult- this was much of my teens and 20s.
Being physically sober (and BTW, a few months is NOT a long time- I am only just past 8 months and while completely different than I was when I was drinking, I am new. You may want to read up on PAWS as well - here is a good article -
https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/).
Meds can be great, but they don't "make" a person better. I took Antabuse successfully for the first 90 days I was sober (today is day 246). It can be toyed around with- if you don't take it for some number of days, then you drink, you probably (note that word) won't get sick, etc. That is a dangerous way to do it and one that an addict's mind will very possibly try, as I did. Meds like Naltrexone, and Campral which I take as maintenance 3x daily (I have had zero cravings since I quit cold turkey, and if that is part of why, I will happily take it forever), are meant to assist with cravings, primarily. They do not change behavior or get/keep someone in recovery.
I am AA er. To me, it is a living, breathing program for LIFE. I accepted that I can never drink again, am powerless over alcohol, and I work incredibly hard at living my program. IMO and IME, a true life of sobriety- in a real, complicated, good, contributing, positive form as a member of society- is way, WAY more than just not drinking. My problem has been removed, and I work daily on keeping spiritual fitness and my aim is maintaining my emotional sobriety- because physical sobriety, and everything else, follows from that.
As the mind clears, you can see more and more acutely how things "were" - and it is crucial to accept your responsibility, learn acceptance, stay away from devils like resentment and self-pity...all things you learn in AA (there are plenty of other programs people use to successfully get and stay sober).
Whatever place she is in, bottom line is you didn't cause her alcoholism, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. And, very importantly- you have to do you. Al Anon might be a terrific place for you to start. Any possible reconciliation is possibly a long way off, and not IMO the place to start with your thinking or action.
They say that alcoholics judged ourselves by our intentions while the world was judging us by our actions (BB 4th edition, p 418). Time will out, so to speak, as to what she is doing with her life and sobriety.
Good luck.
Yes, to answer your original question. A person can be physically sober and live as a dry drunk. My mom did this for a long time- she wasn't drinking but much of her behavior was just like it was when she drank. It was horribly difficult- this was much of my teens and 20s.
Being physically sober (and BTW, a few months is NOT a long time- I am only just past 8 months and while completely different than I was when I was drinking, I am new. You may want to read up on PAWS as well - here is a good article -
https://digital-dharma.net/post-acut...r-immediately/).
Meds can be great, but they don't "make" a person better. I took Antabuse successfully for the first 90 days I was sober (today is day 246). It can be toyed around with- if you don't take it for some number of days, then you drink, you probably (note that word) won't get sick, etc. That is a dangerous way to do it and one that an addict's mind will very possibly try, as I did. Meds like Naltrexone, and Campral which I take as maintenance 3x daily (I have had zero cravings since I quit cold turkey, and if that is part of why, I will happily take it forever), are meant to assist with cravings, primarily. They do not change behavior or get/keep someone in recovery.
I am AA er. To me, it is a living, breathing program for LIFE. I accepted that I can never drink again, am powerless over alcohol, and I work incredibly hard at living my program. IMO and IME, a true life of sobriety- in a real, complicated, good, contributing, positive form as a member of society- is way, WAY more than just not drinking. My problem has been removed, and I work daily on keeping spiritual fitness and my aim is maintaining my emotional sobriety- because physical sobriety, and everything else, follows from that.
As the mind clears, you can see more and more acutely how things "were" - and it is crucial to accept your responsibility, learn acceptance, stay away from devils like resentment and self-pity...all things you learn in AA (there are plenty of other programs people use to successfully get and stay sober).
Whatever place she is in, bottom line is you didn't cause her alcoholism, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. And, very importantly- you have to do you. Al Anon might be a terrific place for you to start. Any possible reconciliation is possibly a long way off, and not IMO the place to start with your thinking or action.
They say that alcoholics judged ourselves by our intentions while the world was judging us by our actions (BB 4th edition, p 418). Time will out, so to speak, as to what she is doing with her life and sobriety.
Good luck.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
I think the belief most wished for is that they STOP drinking and THEN things/life can go back to normal and everyone can just get on with life.
The drinking is merely a symptom of usually a much deeper issues. So remove the drinking you still have the issues.
But I think rather than debate paths of recovery here for the alcoholics. How about we talk about our own paths towards recovery.
I think the above is your more important issue, not how she recovers or doesn’t recover.
Do you feel you are being punished for her alcoholism? And if so, why?
The drinking is merely a symptom of usually a much deeper issues. So remove the drinking you still have the issues.
But I think rather than debate paths of recovery here for the alcoholics. How about we talk about our own paths towards recovery.
There is no hint towards me of an honest inventory of behaviour, no apologies, no amends, and just continued blame towards me, along with what feels like punishment of me as part of that blame.
Do you feel you are being punished for her alcoholism? And if so, why?
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Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 62
Originally Posted by August252015 
IMO and IME, a true life of sobriety- in a real, complicated, good, contributing, positive form as a member of society- is way, WAY more than just not drinking. My problem has been removed, and I work daily on keeping spiritual fitness and my aim is maintaining my emotional sobriety- because physical sobriety, and everything else, follows from that.
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
50 percent of problem drinkers stop without a program of recovery. With anyone who has been drinking for a period of time, their behavior and thoughts are stunted from the years of numbing out of their feelings and activities. Whether it's AA, SMART, Rational Recovery or therapy most people, in my opinion, who have been drinking this long need to help to be brought back to a normal life balance. The same is true of their family and friends as well, since their life needs to change as it no longer serves us to have our lives surround around the person who is perpetually drunk.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 34
My husband is using naltrexone
I understand what you are talking about here. My husband is currently taking naltrexone but refuses any other forms of support or recovery options. I am truly concerned by this and fear the day the pills stop. Although he has not had a drink in 7 was, he continues to be quick to get frustrated or angry, especially with our daughter. He continues to lay guilt on me for my concerns and fears. He is sober, absolutely, although he has inquired about buying pot (has not connected yet), but I am concerned about long term recovery. However with the help of folks here, reading, and counseling I am accepting that I can't control what happens, only what I do, accept, and react to. I am hoping for best but preparing for the worst to protect myself and my daughter. Some days this acceptance is easier than others, but I have also given myself a break for the bad days. Only time will tell if his sobriety will last and if it will be enough to save our marriage and keep our family intact. But, I do not need to decide anything today.
It sounds your ex still needs to blame you, and whether he finally moves past this and accepts his own behaviors is up to him. Whether his behavior or thoughts effect you is something you can control.
Wish I had a clear cut answer for you, but I am still in the murky waters with my AH right now.
It sounds your ex still needs to blame you, and whether he finally moves past this and accepts his own behaviors is up to him. Whether his behavior or thoughts effect you is something you can control.
Wish I had a clear cut answer for you, but I am still in the murky waters with my AH right now.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 1,545
Originally Posted by timetohealguy
Has anyone else experienced a situation where someone gets sober on medication but is not doing the 12 steps, so even though they are physically sober the blaming of others persists ?
W = co-irker
m = me
W: I might lose my license over these five tickets! It isn't fair!
M: Were you speeding?
W: Yes, but it wasn't my fault. I put larger tires on my car to get better mileage, and the speedometer doesn't read correctly.
M: Then slow down.
W: but it's not my fault. Other cars were going just as fast, and they didn't get tickets. It's my tires!
M: Put the right size tires on your car.
Lather, rinse, repeat. Also, this man in recovery also helped himself to rum-enhanced eggnog at the holiday.
He also claimed *everyone* who worked in restaurants was high/drunk because it is soooo stressful there's no way to do the job otherwise.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,235
Wow velma. He reminds me way too much of my sister.
She swears up and down the mountain that she's given up drugs, but she constantly plays the blame game. The last time we actually had a conversation, she was upset because our parents were nagging her about her $550/month storage bill. Because she had left their address as the contact address for the storage company.
I told her that if she really wanted our parents out of her business, she needed to stop using their address and use somebody else's instead. She didn't like that answer, claimed that I was stressing her out, and hung up on me. The sad part is is that I'm so sick and tired of walking a tightrope with her I just didn't even care.
Meanwhile, my sister-in-law is in active recovery, and the difference is night and day. She owns her mistakes, she even pokes fun at herself, and is pretty much a joy to be around. No more walking on eggshells. She has a job, has gotten promoted, and has gone way beyond "I'll get by."
Oh, and she manages a restaurant.
She swears up and down the mountain that she's given up drugs, but she constantly plays the blame game. The last time we actually had a conversation, she was upset because our parents were nagging her about her $550/month storage bill. Because she had left their address as the contact address for the storage company.
I told her that if she really wanted our parents out of her business, she needed to stop using their address and use somebody else's instead. She didn't like that answer, claimed that I was stressing her out, and hung up on me. The sad part is is that I'm so sick and tired of walking a tightrope with her I just didn't even care.
Meanwhile, my sister-in-law is in active recovery, and the difference is night and day. She owns her mistakes, she even pokes fun at herself, and is pretty much a joy to be around. No more walking on eggshells. She has a job, has gotten promoted, and has gone way beyond "I'll get by."
Oh, and she manages a restaurant.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Definitely - there is a tremendous difference between sobriety & recovery, IMO. Sobriety is just the physical component removed but recovery addresses the underlying emotional & spiritual maladies that were hiding under the more obvious physical addiction. In my personal opinion all 3 areas are interdependent & in order to achieve success in recovery, a person needs to become healthy in all areas.
RAH spent 2+ years white-knuckling through sobriety but not working any type of recovery & it showed in a lot of ways like continued blame-shifting (aka lack of accountability), victim-mentality, constant little lies (although as time went on, they got bigger & became part of his unraveling). He was essentially no better as a person, just sober. It culminated in a relapse & a new rock bottom moment for him. The difference since then (when he got serious about all sides of recovery) is like night & day.
My questions are: why did this person feel the need to inform you of all of this when this is your EX and: what you are getting out of analyzing it except staying wrapped up in her life/recovery?
She may continue to blame you for all of it until the cows come home whether she's medicated, in recovery, sober or not. If she's only sober for a few months then who knows what may happen - early recovery is such an unpredictable stage & it can be hard to get to all the deeper levels of it until the body & brain stabilize a bit more. Why does it matter if you are no longer impacted by any of it? I don't know why you should "expect" anything?
RAH spent 2+ years white-knuckling through sobriety but not working any type of recovery & it showed in a lot of ways like continued blame-shifting (aka lack of accountability), victim-mentality, constant little lies (although as time went on, they got bigger & became part of his unraveling). He was essentially no better as a person, just sober. It culminated in a relapse & a new rock bottom moment for him. The difference since then (when he got serious about all sides of recovery) is like night & day.
My questions are: why did this person feel the need to inform you of all of this when this is your EX and: what you are getting out of analyzing it except staying wrapped up in her life/recovery?
She may continue to blame you for all of it until the cows come home whether she's medicated, in recovery, sober or not. If she's only sober for a few months then who knows what may happen - early recovery is such an unpredictable stage & it can be hard to get to all the deeper levels of it until the body & brain stabilize a bit more. Why does it matter if you are no longer impacted by any of it? I don't know why you should "expect" anything?
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
One of the best things my counselor helped me do was identify what I needed in a relationship. Specific things. Not a list of deal breakers or the arc of things that all decent human beings expect. Don't hit me. Don't be active in your alcoholism. Don't cheat on me. Those things are not on the list (well they should be but not the list she was looking for). It seemed easy when she first asked but it was incredibly difficult for me to do. I had no idea where to start. I'd left that list behind years before.
Then it isn't about drinking or not drinking or programs or about what they are doing, did, gauging their recovery, or using a crystal ball to see inside someone else's mind. It becomes about me. What I need. Does that other person meet my needs? If they do not (and I decide, not them) I can set us both free and I can do it even if it hurts if I understand *myself and my needs* and let go of trying to figure out his instead. It helped lift the fog when the messages I received were so confusing. He did this - not you do *that* and that felt very wrong to me in ways that I could not articulate even to myself.
To answer your question more directly my ex has been sober a long time (years now), had lots of treatment, been through the 12 steps, and continues to see a counselor and psychiatrist today. To him, I'm still a very bad person for leaving him instead of standing by him. I'm still blamed for a lot of things and reminded of how badly he thought I behaved. I have never heard any acknowledgement of the part he played in the unraveling of our lives or an amends for any of the hurtful behavior he engaged in. It's OK. That is apparently his reality and I've tried to make amends for very specific things as well as for things in general that I felt I owned. I've been kind and decent to him since. I don't malign him to family or anyone else. etc. etc. But that doesn't mean I have to marry him again. Or sleep with him. Or continue to beg for his forgiveness without end. It's done. I know what I need and I can honor that regardless of how much spinning he does and I can ignore input from people that don't understand (family/friends/etc.). I also have no obligation to get them to understand. I refuse to discuss it.
Then it isn't about drinking or not drinking or programs or about what they are doing, did, gauging their recovery, or using a crystal ball to see inside someone else's mind. It becomes about me. What I need. Does that other person meet my needs? If they do not (and I decide, not them) I can set us both free and I can do it even if it hurts if I understand *myself and my needs* and let go of trying to figure out his instead. It helped lift the fog when the messages I received were so confusing. He did this - not you do *that* and that felt very wrong to me in ways that I could not articulate even to myself.
To answer your question more directly my ex has been sober a long time (years now), had lots of treatment, been through the 12 steps, and continues to see a counselor and psychiatrist today. To him, I'm still a very bad person for leaving him instead of standing by him. I'm still blamed for a lot of things and reminded of how badly he thought I behaved. I have never heard any acknowledgement of the part he played in the unraveling of our lives or an amends for any of the hurtful behavior he engaged in. It's OK. That is apparently his reality and I've tried to make amends for very specific things as well as for things in general that I felt I owned. I've been kind and decent to him since. I don't malign him to family or anyone else. etc. etc. But that doesn't mean I have to marry him again. Or sleep with him. Or continue to beg for his forgiveness without end. It's done. I know what I need and I can honor that regardless of how much spinning he does and I can ignore input from people that don't understand (family/friends/etc.). I also have no obligation to get them to understand. I refuse to discuss it.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 60
Originally Posted by velma929
Yes. I had a colleague who claimed to be a recovered alcoholic. At one time he complained about the possibility of losing his license because he'd accrued 5 speeding tickets within a couple years.
W = co-irker
m = me
W: I might lose my license over these five tickets! It isn't fair!
M: Were you speeding?
W: Yes, but it wasn't my fault. I put larger tires on my car to get better mileage, and the speedometer doesn't read correctly.
M: Then slow down.
W: but it's not my fault. Other cars were going just as fast, and they didn't get tickets. It's my tires!
M: Put the right size tires on your car.
Lather, rinse, repeat. Also, this man in recovery also helped himself to rum-enhanced eggnog at the holiday.
He also claimed *everyone* who worked in restaurants was high/drunk because it is soooo stressful there's no way to do the job otherwise.
W = co-irker
m = me
W: I might lose my license over these five tickets! It isn't fair!
M: Were you speeding?
W: Yes, but it wasn't my fault. I put larger tires on my car to get better mileage, and the speedometer doesn't read correctly.
M: Then slow down.
W: but it's not my fault. Other cars were going just as fast, and they didn't get tickets. It's my tires!
M: Put the right size tires on your car.
Lather, rinse, repeat. Also, this man in recovery also helped himself to rum-enhanced eggnog at the holiday.
He also claimed *everyone* who worked in restaurants was high/drunk because it is soooo stressful there's no way to do the job otherwise.
I just realized that I'm in a dry drunk situation too. I finally got the courage to ask my AH to go to therapist to deal with his substance abuse. He refused to go but quit cold turkey. So now 2 months later I have a stewing, angry AH, just the mood swings are less violent. Is it better? Yes, I'm not getting yelled at randomly and am not leaking money. But the air of unhappiness hasn't really changed. If this is as good as it gets, well it's just not enough for me. And I know once I bring that up, it will be the the excuse he needs to use again. So done.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,981
There is a difference between being sober, and in recovery. AA refers to it as being a "dry drunk" as while they may not be drinking, their alcoholic mind remains.
I agree with your therapist, without a recovery program, while getting sober in itself is a huge feat to be applauded, the real path to getting your life back on track is through a recovery plan like AA or others.
I agree with your therapist, without a recovery program, while getting sober in itself is a huge feat to be applauded, the real path to getting your life back on track is through a recovery plan like AA or others.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 202
Originally Posted by Forward12
There is a difference between being sober, and in recovery. AA refers to it as being a "dry drunk" as while they may not be drinking, their alcoholic mind remains.
I agree with your therapist, without a recovery program, while getting sober in itself is a huge feat to be applauded, the real path to getting your life back on track is through a recovery plan like AA or others.
I agree with your therapist, without a recovery program, while getting sober in itself is a huge feat to be applauded, the real path to getting your life back on track is through a recovery plan like AA or others.
Thanks for your reply. I completely agree.
I did some reading about the "dry drunk" phenomenon, and it seems to describe my ex very well.
This section of one of the articles I read is scarily accurate in terms of what I have seen ...
----------------
"Here are some destructive behaviors and actions that can result from dry drunk thinking: ...
3. Our emotions and feelings either get listless and dull or we start overreacting.
Either we become emotionally dull, or we catapult into hyper emotionalism. Our reactions are not proportional to the events. Maybe an everyday occurrence results in seething anger, or a simple comment from a coworker causes a war of words.
At this point, it’s a good idea to seek emotional support or feedback from trusted members of the sober community. Let’s face it, recovery and life offer ups and downs, peaks and valleys. These situations can be amplified in the absence of an anesthetizing substance, but we must meet life’s turmoil with the tools learned in recovery. In some situations, however, pain can be an incredible motivator. In the absence of pain, change is usually non-existent."
----------------
... and the bold part of the next section is precisely what I have seen from her over the last few months ...
-----------------
"5. We start to engage in magical thinking
We get unrealistic and magical expectations and fanciful dreams. This is kind of similar to euphoric recall but is not necessarily confined to the past.
Magical thinking can involve unrealistic expectations, and unreasonable goals, and simply believing that things will occur if we wish for them aren’t enough.
An example might be ... I’ve been good so long just one drink won’t hurt.
My favorite example of the slide into magical thinking is the following sentence, just fill in the blanks.
It wasn’t____________( drugs, alcohol) that was my problem, it was____________ ( my job, my husband, my anxiety).
If you’re going down that road run, don’t walk, to someone who can remove that magical thinking and give your realistic perspective on how it really was.
Another great example that happened to me was this: I was driving down the road with my best friend and sponsor and started talking about the past I stated, in all sincerity:
“I wasn’t really all that bad.” my friend pulled off the road looked me right in the face, straight in the eyes and said “Yes Bill you were”. Then he started driving again.
That took the wind right out of my sails, brought me back to reality, and I never brought up the subject again."
-------------------------
She used almost exactly the same sentence as in that article.
In her case it has been ... "It wasn’t alcohol that was my problem, it was stress that made me drink, and that stress was caused by my husband".
I am sure that she did find me trying to convince her that she had a problem and needed treatment stressful. But I was not going to just sit back and say nothing and watch her drink herself to death. Some things absolutely need to said to someone who you love and care about.
The full article is here ...
Dry Drunk | When an Alcoholic Stops Drinking or a Drug Addict Stops Using But Does Not Seem to Get Better - BreakingTheCycles.com
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