Ashamed
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Kewaunee, WI
Posts: 19
Ashamed
Hey everyone whos reading this. I have been sober from opiates for 10 months. I was incarcerated October 15th of 2015 stemming from my drug addiction and was sentenced to state prison. I have been home since August 9th 2016. Since being home my sobriety has concerned me however I didn't make it a priority. This past Saturday 10/22/16 I was having some moderate pain and ended up in the emergency department. The doctor gave me 1 Percocet for the pain while I was there and I took it. I didn't even think twice about my 10 months of sobriety that I worked so hard for. I am so ashamed of myself and am a complete loss of what to do next and where I go from here. So I guess I have actually only been sober for 2 days. The doctor did send me home with a prescription for Tramadol and I ripped it up and threw it away today. I plan on going to a NA meeting tomorrow. I know this is related to my sobriety however not sure if it's relevant but I also suffer from several mental illnesses and manage to take my psychiatric medications as prescribed.
I would really appreciate any advice you could give.
I would really appreciate any advice you could give.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
It was given to you by a doctor -- let it go -- I think of you to still be clean and sober.
Only if we take more than prescribed do we have an issue.
I'm due for a painful operation with a rough recovery. Yes, I will probably need some pain meds. But, I will only take as directed and for no longer than nessary.
MM
Only if we take more than prescribed do we have an issue.
I'm due for a painful operation with a rough recovery. Yes, I will probably need some pain meds. But, I will only take as directed and for no longer than nessary.
MM
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Kewaunee, WI
Posts: 19
MM-
Thank you so much. I know it seems petty to worry about a pill the doctor gave me however I have worked so hard and come so far to lose everything again. I still pretty new in my recovery and definitely don't want to push the limits of my sobriety. I got addicted horribly to opiates and it all started with one pill the doctor prescribed me and led to a 10 year battle and a prison sentence.
Thank you so much. I know it seems petty to worry about a pill the doctor gave me however I have worked so hard and come so far to lose everything again. I still pretty new in my recovery and definitely don't want to push the limits of my sobriety. I got addicted horribly to opiates and it all started with one pill the doctor prescribed me and led to a 10 year battle and a prison sentence.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,021
You took one pill for your pain, so I think you should let it go and move forward. You've been sober 10 months, so you've been doing something right.
NA is a good idea IMO. Personally, I've had to make my sobriety my number one priority. Have you looked at your sobriety from this perspective?
NA is a good idea IMO. Personally, I've had to make my sobriety my number one priority. Have you looked at your sobriety from this perspective?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Kewaunee, WI
Posts: 19
stronger
MM-
Thanks again. I have started to realize that my sobriety and also my mental health need to be my top priority. I am hoping to meet some new sober people at NA tomorrow and I'm hoping to find the extra peer support I am in need of. It is great to hear other addicts stories and to realize I am not alone. I know that recovery is a journey and It is one that I am taking very seriously. There are so many different reason why I can no longer let drugs control my life but the biggest one is that I really have the desire to not use.
Thanks again. I have started to realize that my sobriety and also my mental health need to be my top priority. I am hoping to meet some new sober people at NA tomorrow and I'm hoping to find the extra peer support I am in need of. It is great to hear other addicts stories and to realize I am not alone. I know that recovery is a journey and It is one that I am taking very seriously. There are so many different reason why I can no longer let drugs control my life but the biggest one is that I really have the desire to not use.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Sydney, Aus
Posts: 262
Welcome to SR! 
I think the fact that you're battling with this dilemma shows that you are committed to your recovery. You've recognised that your sobriety needs protecting and you're prepared to take steps to do that. Follow through with that plan to attend your meeting. Reach out here. Prioritise your recovery. Don't get too hung up on whether you're 2 days or 10 months. Are you sober today? What are you doing today to make sure it stays that way tomorrow? Keep going.
I think the fact that you're battling with this dilemma shows that you are committed to your recovery. You've recognised that your sobriety needs protecting and you're prepared to take steps to do that. Follow through with that plan to attend your meeting. Reach out here. Prioritise your recovery. Don't get too hung up on whether you're 2 days or 10 months. Are you sober today? What are you doing today to make sure it stays that way tomorrow? Keep going.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Good luck at your NA meeting. Let us know how it goes. It sounds like a good idea to build up a support network.
As far as the one off pill the Doctor gave you, I wouldn't consider that as breaking sobriety. I do think it was a good move to not end up with a bottle of pills in your bathroom cabinet though. Esp if you're feeling a bit wobbly.
Presumably this means that you're still in pain though. Could you visit the doctor again, and explain that you are in NA and ask for an alternative (something that isnt mind altering) to the prescription you tore up?
Good luck today. I think you did great. Please get to that meeting though. Find your clan and stick right in the middle of the life-raft.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
As far as the one off pill the Doctor gave you, I wouldn't consider that as breaking sobriety. I do think it was a good move to not end up with a bottle of pills in your bathroom cabinet though. Esp if you're feeling a bit wobbly.
Presumably this means that you're still in pain though. Could you visit the doctor again, and explain that you are in NA and ask for an alternative (something that isnt mind altering) to the prescription you tore up?
Good luck today. I think you did great. Please get to that meeting though. Find your clan and stick right in the middle of the life-raft.
Wishing you all the best for your recovery. BB
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: MN
Posts: 93
Personally, I would still call you clean and sober. You took the pill for the right reason like tomsteve said.
I can understand maybe a little bit how you feel even tho I didn't do opiates but alcohol. I fell while in one of my drunken states 3 weeks ago - and did something - either a real bad bruise or cracked my ribs. I decided to stop alcohol the next day but when I was having a hard time breathing I went to the doctor. He game me a scrip for percocet to help me sleep. I have never abused them (had plenty of scrips for these because of the operations I have had) but I was terrified to take them.
I can understand maybe a little bit how you feel even tho I didn't do opiates but alcohol. I fell while in one of my drunken states 3 weeks ago - and did something - either a real bad bruise or cracked my ribs. I decided to stop alcohol the next day but when I was having a hard time breathing I went to the doctor. He game me a scrip for percocet to help me sleep. I have never abused them (had plenty of scrips for these because of the operations I have had) but I was terrified to take them.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by today29 
There are so many different reason why I can no longer let drugs control my life but the biggest one is that I really have the desire to not use.
For it is when we let up -- self deception once more sets in.
As you know it's a hell of a thing.
I've gotten to 9 years now clean and sober
due to not putting total trust in the man I see in the mirror.
Still sounds kind of strange but, it works.
Many sober ones will as I do
place all trust in a Higher Power and little trust in oneself.
A nice sober day wished for all,
M-Bob
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Kewaunee, WI
Posts: 19
Honestly.....
I'm going to be completely honest, I knew before going to the emergency room that they would probably give me narcotics. I did go because I was genuinely in pain however a part of me was excited about the possibility of getting drugs. And when I took the Percocet I wasn't even thinking "Great this is going to help my pain" I was thinking "if this doesn't work they will probably give me something even stronger". Right after I took the pill I immediately regretted it. I know deep down inside I could of probably gotten through the pain with strong ibuprofen at home but I made the decision to go to the hospital knowing I was probably going to get drugs. I am honestly disappointed in myself for being weak to my own addict mind. I am thankful I was smart enough to rip up the prescription they sent me home with but I know I made a mistake by taking that pill. Now I just have to learn to let it go and try and make some steps in recovery starting by going to an NA meeting today and being sober today.
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