I need some good juju for my DD, my friends (OT)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
I need some good juju for my DD, my friends (OT)
I received a call today from DD13's school counselor. She informed me of some issues she has been trying to discuss with XH since early last week. Apparently I was not coded in DD13's file as a parent, but rather as "other," so she didn't realize who I was until she flat-out asked DD13 today what her mother's name was.
Anyway, what had seemed like a particularly bad case of adolescent angst is apparently much more serious that we originally thought. Another student turned in an anonymous crisis report on DD13, indicating that the student was fearful she would harm herself and that she is deeply depressed. DD13 has a good relationship with the school counselor, and they talk often. DD13 was honest with her about how she is having some suicidal thoughts, and that she has the hardest time when she is home alone after school (while XH is still at work and DD16 is still at school for after school activities).
I spent hours on the phone today, trying to figure out how to coordinate care for her across two states, trying to figure out where she would go after school this week so she isn't home alone, and being a warrior on DD13's behalf when XH tried to insist that DD13 go to his parents' house after school. DD13 has long complained about how XH's parents baby her, and dismiss her feelings and thoughts. I finally got him on board with DD13 going to a friend's house after school all week. I am close with that friend's parents, and the parents have been like a second mom and dad for DD13.
As I'm sure you all know, trying to secure psychiatric care is a nightmare. One provider won't see her unless she is seeing a therapist in their office. Another provider doesn't take insurance. Yet another provider has a wait list until January. I ultimately scheduled her with a psychiatrist in January, and she will see her regular doctor next week to see if some short-term meds are in order before her January appointment. She will continue to visit with the school counselor every day, and she will start with an offsite therapist/counselor next week.
XH is not an A, but he does have a very deep-seated skepticism of anything related to mental health. So far, he is being cooperative, but I suspect I will have to drive the bus on most of this, from 60 miles away (since she lives with her dad during the week for school).
Please keep us in your thoughts, my friends.
Anyway, what had seemed like a particularly bad case of adolescent angst is apparently much more serious that we originally thought. Another student turned in an anonymous crisis report on DD13, indicating that the student was fearful she would harm herself and that she is deeply depressed. DD13 has a good relationship with the school counselor, and they talk often. DD13 was honest with her about how she is having some suicidal thoughts, and that she has the hardest time when she is home alone after school (while XH is still at work and DD16 is still at school for after school activities).
I spent hours on the phone today, trying to figure out how to coordinate care for her across two states, trying to figure out where she would go after school this week so she isn't home alone, and being a warrior on DD13's behalf when XH tried to insist that DD13 go to his parents' house after school. DD13 has long complained about how XH's parents baby her, and dismiss her feelings and thoughts. I finally got him on board with DD13 going to a friend's house after school all week. I am close with that friend's parents, and the parents have been like a second mom and dad for DD13.
As I'm sure you all know, trying to secure psychiatric care is a nightmare. One provider won't see her unless she is seeing a therapist in their office. Another provider doesn't take insurance. Yet another provider has a wait list until January. I ultimately scheduled her with a psychiatrist in January, and she will see her regular doctor next week to see if some short-term meds are in order before her January appointment. She will continue to visit with the school counselor every day, and she will start with an offsite therapist/counselor next week.
XH is not an A, but he does have a very deep-seated skepticism of anything related to mental health. So far, he is being cooperative, but I suspect I will have to drive the bus on most of this, from 60 miles away (since she lives with her dad during the week for school).
Please keep us in your thoughts, my friends.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Oh Wisconsin that would be such a hard call to take. But you, unsurprisingly are rallying HARDCORE and immediately for DD...and that I think that will make all the difference.
I hope this shook up XH to learn a bit about mental health. Sending you good vibes, juju, healing thoughts, ALL THAT! I can't imagine how scared you are and thank goodness for the other student looking out for DD. (((HUGS)))
I hope this shook up XH to learn a bit about mental health. Sending you good vibes, juju, healing thoughts, ALL THAT! I can't imagine how scared you are and thank goodness for the other student looking out for DD. (((HUGS)))
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Holy cows, Wisconsin, what a load to carry! Thank heavens that DD has a good relationship w/the counselor, and thank heavens that she has a friend who cared enough to alert people who can help. And yes, thank heavens she has YOU in her corner.
I'm wishing you strength to deal w/the obstacles you mentioned along the way to getting DD the help she needs, and I wish healing for DD.
I'm wishing you strength to deal w/the obstacles you mentioned along the way to getting DD the help she needs, and I wish healing for DD.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hugs and good juju from me, too! I agree with HoneyPig, she has a lot going for her right now. And whether her dad "believes in" mental health treatment or not, hopefully his concern for his daughter will prevail.
You're doing the right stuff, and hopefully she will be feeling better, soon. Adolescence can really suck at times. My older son struggled with depression when he was just a tad older. Not to scare you unduly, but make sure ANY doctor who prescribes meds for her monitors her closely for any adverse reactions. My son was prescribed Paxil and almost instantly began acting out in violent ways (property-type, not violence against people). He ultimately committed what would be a crime for an adult and wound up in a group home for a year. His dad and I still attribute that event largely to the medication, our concerns about which were blown off by his doctor. Some of those medications can have especially serious side-effects in teenagers, so it pays to monitor her response to them VERY carefully.
You're doing the right stuff, and hopefully she will be feeling better, soon. Adolescence can really suck at times. My older son struggled with depression when he was just a tad older. Not to scare you unduly, but make sure ANY doctor who prescribes meds for her monitors her closely for any adverse reactions. My son was prescribed Paxil and almost instantly began acting out in violent ways (property-type, not violence against people). He ultimately committed what would be a crime for an adult and wound up in a group home for a year. His dad and I still attribute that event largely to the medication, our concerns about which were blown off by his doctor. Some of those medications can have especially serious side-effects in teenagers, so it pays to monitor her response to them VERY carefully.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Thank you so much for your support and feedback, everyone. Just yesterday we were at the pumpkin farm and she posed for a crazy photo with an alpaca, full of joy...
Fortunately, her regular doctor is incredibly thorough. If she prescribes medication (and she is a conservative prescriber of such things), she will require DD13 to be in weekly therapy to help monitor her reactions to such meds as well as help her develop some coping skills, and will insist on monthly status reports to see how she's doing. I have a friend whose son attempted suicide as a teen while on an anti-depressant--it's scary stuff indeed. It's one of the many reasons why I ultimately want her to see a psychiatrist for medication issues. We'll see what the general practitioner says next week...
Fortunately, her regular doctor is incredibly thorough. If she prescribes medication (and she is a conservative prescriber of such things), she will require DD13 to be in weekly therapy to help monitor her reactions to such meds as well as help her develop some coping skills, and will insist on monthly status reports to see how she's doing. I have a friend whose son attempted suicide as a teen while on an anti-depressant--it's scary stuff indeed. It's one of the many reasons why I ultimately want her to see a psychiatrist for medication issues. We'll see what the general practitioner says next week...
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 2,792
W,
I am so sorry, as it is so hard being away from her. You are being a proactive mom by keeping a watchful eye on her. This is all you can do. Lots of love and compassion has she travels through this rough time in her life.
I wish I had some miracle words of wisdom to make it less painful for you and her. But sending prayers to you and DD, that "this to shall Pass," my friend, and hopefully soon!!
I am so sorry, as it is so hard being away from her. You are being a proactive mom by keeping a watchful eye on her. This is all you can do. Lots of love and compassion has she travels through this rough time in her life.
I wish I had some miracle words of wisdom to make it less painful for you and her. But sending prayers to you and DD, that "this to shall Pass," my friend, and hopefully soon!!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I'm so sorry Wisconsin, I'm just seeing this now & can't imagine what you've been going through.
While this is not an ok situation, it sounds like you are doing literally everything you possibly can to be there for her in every way. (((((((BIG HUGS))))))) & continued prayers headed your way!
While this is not an ok situation, it sounds like you are doing literally everything you possibly can to be there for her in every way. (((((((BIG HUGS))))))) & continued prayers headed your way!
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
It sounds like good juju is already surrounding your daughter, with you, her school counselor, a very caring friend, caring and loving friends for afterschool. So let’s keep the good juju going.
And an extra big dose for you!!!
And an extra big dose for you!!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Thank you, everyone. 48 hours after the call from the school counselor, DD13 has a safe place to go after school every day, for as long as she needs, so that she won't be home alone. She is seeing the school counselor every day, and has her first weekly appointment with an outside counselor at the end of the week. She sees her regular doctor next week for possible short-term medication if warranted, and she will have a full psychiatric evaluation with an MD psychiatrist right after the first of the year. Everyone has signed consent forms to give everyone else full access to information. I'm really bending over backwards to make sure that we coordinate her care as much as possible. I feel good about where we are, even if we do have to wait 2.5 months for the full psych evaluation. And of course, if at any time it appears she is a danger to herself or anyone else, she will go straight to the ER.
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