coming out in AA
Earth Child
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
coming out in AA
hi
Am coming out as trans to people in my AA group i am changing my female name to Alex and that am going from Female to Non Binary meaning am both male and female or am a third gender
i came out before in AA but not to these people i have gone in since and came out again because of my religion but am now at a church that welcomes all types of people
Kinda nervous about i hate talking in AA at the best of times but hopefully it goes ok
Am coming out as trans to people in my AA group i am changing my female name to Alex and that am going from Female to Non Binary meaning am both male and female or am a third gender
i came out before in AA but not to these people i have gone in since and came out again because of my religion but am now at a church that welcomes all types of people
Kinda nervous about i hate talking in AA at the best of times but hopefully it goes ok
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: glasgow scotland
Posts: 1,004
At the end of the day ''the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking '' AA only asks for your first name nothing else , it does not care or ask if your single/married rich/poor or ''sexual preference '' .
I am from Glasgow see your from Edinburgh , I was at a meeting many years ago just as the first gay group opened in Glasgow the chairman was going round the room when this young guy stood up and said ''my name is XYZ and I am an alcoholic and Gay ?'' . The chairman said ''why the f*** are you standing up ? and who gives a f*** if your Gay or not '' and you seem to be having more of a problem than anyone else , if your comfortable and accept yourself as you are what's your problem . It looks like you cannot accept yourself yet you want other people to accept you
The chairman said I do not go to meetings and stand up and say ''my name is XYZ and I am Heterosexual '' .
AA is not interested in outside issues''and that is an outside issue '' to my way of thinking , so keep it simple ''its your business nobody else's'' .
Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006 .
I am from Glasgow see your from Edinburgh , I was at a meeting many years ago just as the first gay group opened in Glasgow the chairman was going round the room when this young guy stood up and said ''my name is XYZ and I am an alcoholic and Gay ?'' . The chairman said ''why the f*** are you standing up ? and who gives a f*** if your Gay or not '' and you seem to be having more of a problem than anyone else , if your comfortable and accept yourself as you are what's your problem . It looks like you cannot accept yourself yet you want other people to accept you
The chairman said I do not go to meetings and stand up and say ''my name is XYZ and I am Heterosexual '' .
AA is not interested in outside issues''and that is an outside issue '' to my way of thinking , so keep it simple ''its your business nobody else's'' .
Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006 .
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Although a few others disagree, I can see very well why it's important for you to come out in your meeting. Personally, I would like being made aware of a person's name change or their preferred pronouns. It only makes sense, since I would be interacting with them. Best to you. Be your beautiful self.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by Winslow 
It's none of anybody's business, you're there for alcohol addiction not anything else
Seems AA is the wrong type of meeting to share this ?
One on one with good close friends seems would be best ?
Personally I don't care about my friends in AA's sexual preferences.
Much less ones that I don't even know there.
I have heard both sexes share things in AA
that later they wished they would not have shared.
I don't tell my whole sexual story there, although I've heard them all.
M-Bob
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by Mountainmanbob
I don't tell my whole sexual story there, although I've heard them all.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: MD
Posts: 658
It seems to me clearly pertinent if the group in question is a men's or women's group, concur with others its in general an outside issue otherwise. Personally I would side with the group's usual practice with respect to outside issues. Similarly, we are not in your shoes- to thine own self & all that... good luck
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
It's really important to come out. For Any who are cis or straight and saying things like "I don't come out as heterosexual" well you don't have to, it's the dominant identity ...and trans have a layer way beyond sexual orientation. The original poster is brave to be vulnerable with a group who may or may not accept them. As a person without a defined gender, in a gender binary organization like AA, coming out as gender non defined is actually really important to them.
And it's weird. As a cis femme queer woman, I'd get a female sponsor. Except the reason for having a sponsor of the same biological gender is... what? Presumptive of (Cis) heterosexuality? Think about it.
When we come out to you, we are in large part showing trust and I can not think of a better environment for that.
And it's weird. As a cis femme queer woman, I'd get a female sponsor. Except the reason for having a sponsor of the same biological gender is... what? Presumptive of (Cis) heterosexuality? Think about it.
When we come out to you, we are in large part showing trust and I can not think of a better environment for that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Hey Alexxx---
Coming out is good, but be careful; there's a reason there are gay AA meetings, gay groups, and even gay AA clubs/centers.
Even though many AAer's say all are welcome, gay AA came about because gays were not made to feel welcome (in some cases they were made to feel downright unwelcome)............and sometimes in some places this is still the case.
(o:
Coming out is good, but be careful; there's a reason there are gay AA meetings, gay groups, and even gay AA clubs/centers.
Even though many AAer's say all are welcome, gay AA came about because gays were not made to feel welcome (in some cases they were made to feel downright unwelcome)............and sometimes in some places this is still the case.
(o:
Earth Child
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Edinburgh, Scotland
Posts: 2,004
thank you all for replying
they where good about it in was very nervous but i managed it
i was going to go to a meeting tonight but i feel a bit off
but i know i should go i think i need it and my husband is ok about it
feel low for other reasons but i really need to go to a meeting
thank you for the meeting info as well NoelleR i cant go to a meeting every night as i have other groups that i go to for my mental health my husband says he will take me there he happy as long as he got somewhere to sit and read a book that dry and no one bothering him lol
they where good about it in was very nervous but i managed it
i was going to go to a meeting tonight but i feel a bit off
but i know i should go i think i need it and my husband is ok about it
feel low for other reasons but i really need to go to a meeting
thank you for the meeting info as well NoelleR i cant go to a meeting every night as i have other groups that i go to for my mental health my husband says he will take me there he happy as long as he got somewhere to sit and read a book that dry and no one bothering him lol
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