Darwinia

I live in South Africa. We are a divided society. Despite democracy and liberation in 1994, the inequalities are stark. Wealth, land, education and opportunity still remain mostly with white people. I am one of them.

Today I interacted professionally with black parents who travelled 1000 km's to support their son. They are poor. Despite that they sacrificed whatever was needed to ensure that their son remains in a traditionally "white" school. In the "white" school he will get a good education and excellent sporting and cultural opportunities. The son committed a disciplinary offence and they were there to support him and to take responsibility. I was humbled.

I thought how ironic and ridiculous life is. Here I am and my biggest problem in life is to not drink. I probably spent more on booze than the joint income of this household monthly.

We struggle with drinking. That is a fact. But perspective is needed. Our struggle is insignificant in the bigger scheme of things.

I am inspired by the courage displayed by so many in adversity. I hope to show courage in my battle too.

mecanix

Our struggle might seem insignificant in the bigger picture but it is worthwhile

Best wishes, m

entropy1964

So true Darwinia. I think of all the war torn, poverty, abuse torn countries and here I am, whining over being 'bored' or 'lonely' or some other BS. It is humbling to keep it in perspective.

Julia8

Thank you - I completely agree. I serve on trips to a 3rd world country and think all the time how important perspective is. It is lost again and again so easily. Even by me, one who sees it up close often.

MissPerfumado

A really important perspective to have and keep. Thank you Darwinia. I believe by extension we should be grateful for our privileges and, instead of feeling guilty for having won the lottery of life, any responsibility on our part is to live life well and decently.

Mountainmanbob

Reading that humbles me.
I try to stay in grateful mode.
Thanking Him often each day.

Thank you for sharing.
M-Bob

Winslow

I think of disabled people, cancer sufferers, etc that are strong and positive, doing something with their lives and here I struggle with making dumb choices(drinking) makes me sad.

awuh1

Sounds like the antithesis of Nihilism. Inspired by their actions? Take some of your own to support them. Perhaps a little of that feeling will abate.

Delizadee

I was thinking of that today too.
Two of "ours" have left the program and their circumstances are unknown and the other one not good. Our counselor was in tears today talking about one of the men. So was I. He was beaten up and in rough shape, and there was not much they could do to help him.

I have far more " privileges" than anyone of my friends in my group. Actually, I've been there almost two months now, and it took me a long time to realize- I am the only white girl in the group. (I'm colourblind that way, I dunno) I did get scoffed at for alcohol being my DOC by one girl when I first started, but other than that- these people who come from VERY rough circumstances, are my friends. I'm not afraid to give hugs, give out my number, hold or shake hands. We're all there to get better and to help support one another.
I know though, because I have more, I can give more. I help whenever I can. I put chairs back, make coffee. I let people use my cell phone if they need to as I'm usually the only one with a phone. I give rides often because I'm one of the few with a vehicle. I share smokes. I give out my number to offer friendship and support, rides to AA, I help people who have questions about life planning and outside supports once they leave detox and stabilization.
It seems trifling and never quite enough to me. These people work so hard to stay on a clean and sober path under very harsh circumstances. The bags of clothes I donate, these things I do to help my friends in detox, stabilization and day program, it's like a snowflake falling on the glacier. I want to do more... we need to see so much change in this little part of the world.
We keep talking about making change by starting with us, and the stronger we get, then we can give back more, and make a ripple effect outward. It is very hard seeing communities suffer in epidemic proportions like they are out here.

I am sitting in my warm house, at my computer, about to make supper.
And I'd give anything to go sit with Frank for a few minutes and hold his hand, then invite him in for supper. I remember the big hug I gave him before Thanksgiving. He had so much gratitude to be there. I hope and pray he can find his way back, through the detox program at the hospital and back to stabilization. And hopefully down the road more healthier, safer opportunities will open up to him than going back to the streets.

I honestly don't think I deserve any kudos for the things I do either. Their gratitude is more than enough for me. A little bit goes a long way and on this road to recovery I've found that paying it forward, and paying it back is good for your soul and your recovery. If you've got it to give it away. The fact that they are my friends and treat me as such, means the world to me. I have a place of belonging, understanding, and safety. From people who probably think they don't have much to offer me.

The only hard thing I'm struggling with right at this moment is that I'm sitting here with gratitude and sadness, and wish I could multiply and give away endlessly all those good little things that mean a lot to those who need them.
The world is an unfair place. I am ashamed at my pity parties and lack of gratitude. Need to work on spreading love and grace.

Anyways. Love my friends I've made. They've really filled my life with light and laughter. I tell them every time I go I'm grateful to have them in my life.

I'm grateful for all you folks too.

xo Del

August252015

A fight for a life is a fight for a life. Nothing insignificant in any size scheme.