Authentic Self?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 110
Authentic Self?
I've heard this term very often during this past year..."authentic self". I've heard it even more frequently lately.
Until yesterday, I heard or read this term and quickly continued on...yup...got it...authentic self...I felt I completely understood what that meant.
But yesterday, I found myself completely stopped by this term...
Hmmm..."authentic self...authentic...self...what is this authentic self that people refer to?"
WHO IS my authentic self?
Have I EVER had an authentic self?
If so, WHEN was I my authentic self?
Maybe when I was a little girl?
Why don't I let my authentic self come out to play?
I need to spend some time on this one and figure out who my authentic self is...
Does anyone have some experience to share about discovering their "authentic self"?
Thanks!
Until yesterday, I heard or read this term and quickly continued on...yup...got it...authentic self...I felt I completely understood what that meant.
But yesterday, I found myself completely stopped by this term...
Hmmm..."authentic self...authentic...self...what is this authentic self that people refer to?"
WHO IS my authentic self?
Have I EVER had an authentic self?
If so, WHEN was I my authentic self?
Maybe when I was a little girl?
Why don't I let my authentic self come out to play?
I need to spend some time on this one and figure out who my authentic self is...
Does anyone have some experience to share about discovering their "authentic self"?
Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Some books!
Carry on Warrior by Glennon Melton
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
In answer to your question, I have lots of thoughts and question marks of my own. I think being your authentic self is something we discover by making changes and doing work at looking inside ourselves and letting go of our false beliefs and treating ourselves with love and kindness. You can't get a frightened, hurt little child to come out of hiding if you keep telling them how wrong they are about existing in the space they occupy. They need love and safety to inhabit they're space in the world. So does your inner child. Work on self love and mindfulness every day.
I think everyone has an authentic self. I think environment and uprbringing and society slowly buries ourselves in changing who we think we are and how we should behave. When you were your authentic self- does it really matter?
I would go backwards in time and concentrate on all the happy memories you have. Where were you? What were you doing? How would you describe all the feelings connected with it, and where in your body did you feel it?
I think learning to let go of fear, shame and guilt lets our true selves come out.
And I think we start to become our authentic selves when we get to that place of courageously living with abandon, when we become teflon against the negativity and cruelty of the world. Where we are not afraid of our feelings because we know who we are and that nothing at all can change that and take it away.
Starting to feel peace and joy I think has a lot to do with it. Authentic self is living with honesty, inside and out.
Authentic self is finding purpose and finding those things in life that bring us joy and contentment. Being in nature, helping others, writing, reading, having a career that we are excited about. Being at peace with where we are, knowing that change might be scary but it's possible and we can reap the rewards of letting go of expectations and learning to live on life's terms.
For me, I find writing on SR, doing my therapy, journalling, and reading really help me look inward at the person I really am, or want to be. I find I am starting to have more strength to speak my truth, to exist with some abandon, of letting myself open up and just let what feels natural come out.
Being in nature really helps too.
There's my ramblings. Thanks for this post. I woke up today extremely grumpy.
I said the serenity prayer, spoke of gentleness and teflon. It's a process and a journey, not a destination, just like recovery.
My authentic self is messy, silly, and all kinds of other things. I'm still working at it.. but I'm starting to find me more. Like my counselor said, I'm more grounded than I've ever been. Probably because I'm slowly learning it's ok to be me, just the way I am.
That's it that's all I got for now.
Stay awesome, you beautiful person.
Carry on Warrior by Glennon Melton
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
In answer to your question, I have lots of thoughts and question marks of my own. I think being your authentic self is something we discover by making changes and doing work at looking inside ourselves and letting go of our false beliefs and treating ourselves with love and kindness. You can't get a frightened, hurt little child to come out of hiding if you keep telling them how wrong they are about existing in the space they occupy. They need love and safety to inhabit they're space in the world. So does your inner child. Work on self love and mindfulness every day.
I think everyone has an authentic self. I think environment and uprbringing and society slowly buries ourselves in changing who we think we are and how we should behave. When you were your authentic self- does it really matter?
I would go backwards in time and concentrate on all the happy memories you have. Where were you? What were you doing? How would you describe all the feelings connected with it, and where in your body did you feel it?
I think learning to let go of fear, shame and guilt lets our true selves come out.
And I think we start to become our authentic selves when we get to that place of courageously living with abandon, when we become teflon against the negativity and cruelty of the world. Where we are not afraid of our feelings because we know who we are and that nothing at all can change that and take it away.
Starting to feel peace and joy I think has a lot to do with it. Authentic self is living with honesty, inside and out.
Authentic self is finding purpose and finding those things in life that bring us joy and contentment. Being in nature, helping others, writing, reading, having a career that we are excited about. Being at peace with where we are, knowing that change might be scary but it's possible and we can reap the rewards of letting go of expectations and learning to live on life's terms.
For me, I find writing on SR, doing my therapy, journalling, and reading really help me look inward at the person I really am, or want to be. I find I am starting to have more strength to speak my truth, to exist with some abandon, of letting myself open up and just let what feels natural come out.
Being in nature really helps too.
There's my ramblings. Thanks for this post. I woke up today extremely grumpy.
I said the serenity prayer, spoke of gentleness and teflon. It's a process and a journey, not a destination, just like recovery.
My authentic self is messy, silly, and all kinds of other things. I'm still working at it.. but I'm starting to find me more. Like my counselor said, I'm more grounded than I've ever been. Probably because I'm slowly learning it's ok to be me, just the way I am.
That's it that's all I got for now.
Stay awesome, you beautiful person.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
Well that's a big one. I completely understand what you're saying....I believe I've been wearing masks most of my life. I learned to do this in childhood....it was survival. Unfortunately I never got to know ME so this BS continued into adulthood. And here I am.
I believe this stems from complete lack of sense of self, very low self esteem, people pleasing, approval seeking, codependence and emotional immaturity.
I believe that finding the authentic me starts with acceptance. Of everything. Not just my addiction. By accepting me for me (or at least as I understand me at this time....which is arguably limited in scope) I can start the process of removing the thinking that has programmed me to 'be' what I have been in the past. Which hasn't worked. Discard the behaviors, thinking and habits that don't serve me. I am my thoughts...if my thoughts are distorted and based on what others think, that will block my authentic self.
Yadda yadda. I'm babbling. Heard this one in yoga yesterday:
Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become words
Be careful of your words, for your words become actions
Be careful of your actions, for your actions become habits
Be careful of your habits, for your habits become character.
Remove bad habits and I believe my character will start to change. Which will hopefully help me in finding me.
I believe this stems from complete lack of sense of self, very low self esteem, people pleasing, approval seeking, codependence and emotional immaturity.
I believe that finding the authentic me starts with acceptance. Of everything. Not just my addiction. By accepting me for me (or at least as I understand me at this time....which is arguably limited in scope) I can start the process of removing the thinking that has programmed me to 'be' what I have been in the past. Which hasn't worked. Discard the behaviors, thinking and habits that don't serve me. I am my thoughts...if my thoughts are distorted and based on what others think, that will block my authentic self.
Yadda yadda. I'm babbling. Heard this one in yoga yesterday:
Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become words
Be careful of your words, for your words become actions
Be careful of your actions, for your actions become habits
Be careful of your habits, for your habits become character.
Remove bad habits and I believe my character will start to change. Which will hopefully help me in finding me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Hello FreedomHorse. I see you're new here so welcome!
I've thought about this one a lot. And, I think getting in touch with your authentic self is a different process for everyone....but perhaps a lot of it has to do with being honest and living honestly. Plus, in order to live honestly I think you need to be authentic; be true to yourself. And, being 'true to yourself' requires being your authentic self.
Yes, maybe it is being more child-like, (not childish).
Yes, in some cases it requires some alone time away from people and 'things' and situations that are constantly demanding us to be this and be that. And the deal is ... that unless we are completely anti-social we are going to need to go along to get along at certain times. That's just life. Part of living in this world is dealing with the various influences...some influences are going to allow or even encourage us to be our authentic selves, while other influences are going to want us to be a 'certain way' that may not be authentic.
For me getting in touch with your authentic self is a bit of a spiritual exercise.
We are living in a time in which the media and social media are constantly giving us 'images' of what is cool, what in 'in', what is beautiful, glamorous, fun,etc. It's challenging I think for people to be authentic at times. They think they have to this or do that in order to have fun and be okay.
"Dare to be different" could just as easily be "dare to be authentic".
I've thought about this one a lot. And, I think getting in touch with your authentic self is a different process for everyone....but perhaps a lot of it has to do with being honest and living honestly. Plus, in order to live honestly I think you need to be authentic; be true to yourself. And, being 'true to yourself' requires being your authentic self.
Yes, maybe it is being more child-like, (not childish).
Yes, in some cases it requires some alone time away from people and 'things' and situations that are constantly demanding us to be this and be that. And the deal is ... that unless we are completely anti-social we are going to need to go along to get along at certain times. That's just life. Part of living in this world is dealing with the various influences...some influences are going to allow or even encourage us to be our authentic selves, while other influences are going to want us to be a 'certain way' that may not be authentic.
For me getting in touch with your authentic self is a bit of a spiritual exercise.
We are living in a time in which the media and social media are constantly giving us 'images' of what is cool, what in 'in', what is beautiful, glamorous, fun,etc. It's challenging I think for people to be authentic at times. They think they have to this or do that in order to have fun and be okay.
"Dare to be different" could just as easily be "dare to be authentic".
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I always like to play with the phrasing of the questions .
Who is the authentic self .. maybe use the question how am i being un-authentic , the first question confuses me but the second shows me something to change or accept .
Due to my overstimulated racing alky brain i have to observe the questions i'm asking myself , often by changing them or their focus , the question is answered and it goes away.
Bestwishes, m
Who is the authentic self .. maybe use the question how am i being un-authentic , the first question confuses me but the second shows me something to change or accept .
Due to my overstimulated racing alky brain i have to observe the questions i'm asking myself , often by changing them or their focus , the question is answered and it goes away.
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
The questionsame you are asking...
The very openness to discovering your authentic self.....
That's where it begins.
Sobriety has allowed me, over time, to begin reconnecting with my Authentic Self, welcoming and embracing that self, learning to be OK with that self and flowing and growing into my Authentic Self.
For me, it's a journey and a continuous process of coming to know, being vulnerable, being loving and discovering ME.
Keep at it!
The very openness to discovering your authentic self.....
That's where it begins.
Sobriety has allowed me, over time, to begin reconnecting with my Authentic Self, welcoming and embracing that self, learning to be OK with that self and flowing and growing into my Authentic Self.
For me, it's a journey and a continuous process of coming to know, being vulnerable, being loving and discovering ME.
Keep at it!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
The Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav.
This is an amazing book by a gentle, brilliant man. It showed me how to find my authentic self, how to reconnect with my spiritual self and how I deserved to be loved.
This is an amazing book by a gentle, brilliant man. It showed me how to find my authentic self, how to reconnect with my spiritual self and how I deserved to be loved.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
This subject makes me think of creativity. I remember going to a song-writing workshop put on by Tim O'Brien and Darrel Scott. It was sooo interesting to hear them tell about how they go about writing some great songs and tips on how to tap into that. The inspiration behind some of it, etc. One thing that stayed with me is that Tim said he needed a certain amount of time alone. After being alone, that was when it started to flow. I feel that we are living in a time when the concept of being 'alone' is like something foreign almost. Solitude? What's that? So much going on and things happening faster than ever...some of that is good, yes, but some of it may make people wish to escape somehow. Which can lead to substance use/abuse. Maybe what people need more of is just down time, peace, and quiet.
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
Peace and quiet is good. My definition of "authentic self" is being self-aware, enlightened even, having learned from one's life experiences. Being honest with yourself and others. I think I prefer another current phrase, "best self." My best self is kind, measured in word and deed, and again, enlightened by the things I have lived through. I strive to be my best self, though I often fall short. Peace.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 110
Wow, thank's so much everyone. There are so many jewels written in all of your wise and helpful words!
Thanks for the book referrals Del and Anna! I've noted this and added them to my reading list.
It is kind of beautiful to think that authentic self is as simple as acceptance and letting go...especially after a traumatic childhood where I learned to "hide" very early on with other various coping mechanisms.
That said, I guess I do believe it is that simple...NOT easy but simple. It is not complicated and it does not require any certain specific credentials like some kind of self-study diploma. :-)
Here are just a few key points I've drawn from all of your posts:
- Accept who you are
- Let go of things that you need to (and we ALL KNOW what those are)
- Experience feelings...they will come...but be in control of what you do with them
- Live honestly
- Spend quality time alone (sit still within my own self)
- Be courageous and strong (dare to be authentic)
Thanks for the book referrals Del and Anna! I've noted this and added them to my reading list.
It is kind of beautiful to think that authentic self is as simple as acceptance and letting go...especially after a traumatic childhood where I learned to "hide" very early on with other various coping mechanisms.
That said, I guess I do believe it is that simple...NOT easy but simple. It is not complicated and it does not require any certain specific credentials like some kind of self-study diploma. :-)
Here are just a few key points I've drawn from all of your posts:
- Accept who you are
- Let go of things that you need to (and we ALL KNOW what those are)
- Experience feelings...they will come...but be in control of what you do with them
- Live honestly
- Spend quality time alone (sit still within my own self)
- Be courageous and strong (dare to be authentic)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
Our 'authentic' self may turn out not to be what we were expecting it to be or fit with some of our preconceived notions from earlier times in our life. Part of the whole 'exercise' of being your authentic self is not only discovering it, but being okay with it...loving yourself. There are so many 'influences' throughout our life that sort of shape us. Parents, teachers, church leaders, mentors, coaches, peer groups, colleagues, bosses. We tend to get AWAY from our authentic self when we do things just to please others. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with pleasing others. But sometimes pleasing others comes at a cost to our authentic self. At times like that I feel I need some restorative time; time alone.
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