Happy birthday to me!!
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 3,010
Happy birthday to me!!
Several of my conversations with friends this year have had a common theme: We don’t have enough time. We don’t have enough time to see each other or take a vacation or even get a decent haircut. Sitting still isn’t an option and a full night of sleep is often a luxury. And you may be thinking that’s because all of my friends are mothers. But we are not.
The common denominator is that we’re all in our 30s.
I’m turning 36 tomorrow so now that I’m firmly nestled in my 30s and have made peace with it, I’ve decided that it’s one of the most transitional periods in a woman’s life, mainly because we’re questioning what we want. If we don’t like what we already have, we’re trying to figure out how to fix it or get rid of it. And if we’ve figured out what we truly want, this is the time to go after it and build on it.
It seems like when you hit your 30s, life gets a little more complicated because your decisions need to be more concrete. It’s not as acceptable to be bumbling around trying to “find yourself” as you were in your 20s and you’re not as sure of yourself as you hope to be in your 40s. The Thirty Decade is when we start questioning where we’re going in life, do we want kids, do we not, and if we don’t…what in the hell do you do with the ones you already have?
We start examining our marriages, if we have them, trying to make sure that what we have is really what we want for the long haul. And if we don’t have that life-long commitment, we begin to wonder why not and if it’s really worth finding after all. We’re looking at our careers, the jobs we started in our 20s because they paid the bills but now aren’t as fulfilling as they should be. And if we don’t have careers, we’re looking at our children, growing older and more independent by the minute, and wondering where we will be in the next 10 years when they’re gone.
It’s a complicated time of life.
But it’s exciting, too. It’s all about questioning. It’s about searching. It’s less about working with someone else’s agenda and more about outlining your own. In my case, part of it is I didn’t have a plan though. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I was still searching for direction. I was still searching for what would make me happy and excited about life.
I’ve been surprised at what a transition I’ve been through in the last 6 years. When I turned 30, I cried for a month before. I thought for sure my youth was over and I mourned it. But turning 36 is different. Years ago, I would have never walked out the door without make-up on. And now I think my reading glasses (which I wear very occasionally) make my face look a little more interesting and I actually look better with less make-up. In my late 20s, I would hobble around in shoes that didn’t fit right but looked spectacular. And now I don’t want to miss a detail of life just because I’m thinking about how much my feet hurt. I work out to feel better instead of jumping on the scale to chart my progress, I read books that make me think about the big picture, and I have more elastic in my wardrobe than I used to. And I like it.
Part of my transition in the last year was giving up alcohol. Amazing things have happened in the last year.
I took 100% responsibility for my life.
If I wanted to have the type of life I dreamt of, it was up to me to get it. I had to stop waiting for someone else, and stop blaming others. If I was going to be happy and wealthy, it was because of me. If I was going to be unhappy and poor, it was because of me.
I stopped my microwave mentality
I don’t like to wait. I want everything done in an instant, but I had to realize that I wasn’t going to be an overnight success. Changes in my life were going to take time. Bad habits wouldn’t instantly go away nor would I instantly stick to good habits.
I stopped living in the past
When I hit 35, it was a wakeup call to me. I could have spent the next 10 years wishing I had done so many things differently in my 20’s. Any mistakes I made in the past were done. Any regret I had couldn’t be changed. I had to forget about it all.
I didn’t worry about the future
What if I failed? What would I do? How would I handle the unknown? I didn’t think about those things. Worrying about the future is a waste of time because 99.99% of the worst case scenarios we imagine never happen.
I focused on the present
Since I wasn’t living in the past, or worrying about the future, it freed me up to focus on the present. What could I do today that would move me a little bit closer to the results I wanted? Even if I did just one small thing, it was better than doing nothing.
I ditched the excuses
The old Tetra would be making excuses after excuses for just about anything. I’d slap her if I could just so she’d shut up. Because I decided to take 100% responsibility for everything in my life, that means stopping the excuses. It’s much easier to place blame on someone or something, but if we really look deep into the situation, the blame does rest with us.
I believe that the best years are still ahead of me
When I turned 30, I wanted the next 10 years to be the best years of my life so far. Honestly the bar was set pretty low because my 20’s didn’t turn out as I had hoped. I had to understand that I wasn’t too old to do great things in life.
I stopped waiting for a miracle
I stopped waiting for something miraculous to happen that would change my life. I hoped and I dreamt about it all the time while taking no action, thinking about how much my life sucked, and watching lots of TV. I never got what I was waiting for so I had to stop this belief.
I learned to like myself
I thought this is what I’ve got and this is what I’ve got to work with. No need to put myself down or doubt what I could do. If I didn’t like myself, then no one else would.
I stopped feeling sorry for myself
I needed to suck it up because no one cared that I felt sorry for myself. I could cry in my house all day long wondering why my life sucked so bad. Guess what? No one cares. If I wanted to walk around looking and feeling sad, it wasn’t going to help me. No one was going to come save me. People have so many of their own problems to worry about.
This time last year I was a 35 year old, unemployed, recovering alcoholic still living with my parents.
Now I am an employed, recovering alcoholic, living in a rented house in town. (Although I have gone to stay with my parents for a break as I had some annual leave to use up and it is nice to get out of the city!)
I finally have direction in my life. I feel excited about my future. I’ve had some great success. And while that has been hard, it has also been a reminder that I should never waste a moment of my time worrying about something as amazing as growing older.
Because age is something we earn. And we should celebrate it every year. And that is why, as I creep closer to my birthday tomorrow, I have one thing to say:
“Bring it on, 36. I’m excited to see you and I can’t wait to be a part of what you and I accomplish before 37 kicks you out.”
Blessings.
The common denominator is that we’re all in our 30s.
I’m turning 36 tomorrow so now that I’m firmly nestled in my 30s and have made peace with it, I’ve decided that it’s one of the most transitional periods in a woman’s life, mainly because we’re questioning what we want. If we don’t like what we already have, we’re trying to figure out how to fix it or get rid of it. And if we’ve figured out what we truly want, this is the time to go after it and build on it.
It seems like when you hit your 30s, life gets a little more complicated because your decisions need to be more concrete. It’s not as acceptable to be bumbling around trying to “find yourself” as you were in your 20s and you’re not as sure of yourself as you hope to be in your 40s. The Thirty Decade is when we start questioning where we’re going in life, do we want kids, do we not, and if we don’t…what in the hell do you do with the ones you already have?
We start examining our marriages, if we have them, trying to make sure that what we have is really what we want for the long haul. And if we don’t have that life-long commitment, we begin to wonder why not and if it’s really worth finding after all. We’re looking at our careers, the jobs we started in our 20s because they paid the bills but now aren’t as fulfilling as they should be. And if we don’t have careers, we’re looking at our children, growing older and more independent by the minute, and wondering where we will be in the next 10 years when they’re gone.
It’s a complicated time of life.
But it’s exciting, too. It’s all about questioning. It’s about searching. It’s less about working with someone else’s agenda and more about outlining your own. In my case, part of it is I didn’t have a plan though. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I was still searching for direction. I was still searching for what would make me happy and excited about life.
I’ve been surprised at what a transition I’ve been through in the last 6 years. When I turned 30, I cried for a month before. I thought for sure my youth was over and I mourned it. But turning 36 is different. Years ago, I would have never walked out the door without make-up on. And now I think my reading glasses (which I wear very occasionally) make my face look a little more interesting and I actually look better with less make-up. In my late 20s, I would hobble around in shoes that didn’t fit right but looked spectacular. And now I don’t want to miss a detail of life just because I’m thinking about how much my feet hurt. I work out to feel better instead of jumping on the scale to chart my progress, I read books that make me think about the big picture, and I have more elastic in my wardrobe than I used to. And I like it.
Part of my transition in the last year was giving up alcohol. Amazing things have happened in the last year.
I took 100% responsibility for my life.
If I wanted to have the type of life I dreamt of, it was up to me to get it. I had to stop waiting for someone else, and stop blaming others. If I was going to be happy and wealthy, it was because of me. If I was going to be unhappy and poor, it was because of me.
I stopped my microwave mentality
I don’t like to wait. I want everything done in an instant, but I had to realize that I wasn’t going to be an overnight success. Changes in my life were going to take time. Bad habits wouldn’t instantly go away nor would I instantly stick to good habits.
I stopped living in the past
When I hit 35, it was a wakeup call to me. I could have spent the next 10 years wishing I had done so many things differently in my 20’s. Any mistakes I made in the past were done. Any regret I had couldn’t be changed. I had to forget about it all.
I didn’t worry about the future
What if I failed? What would I do? How would I handle the unknown? I didn’t think about those things. Worrying about the future is a waste of time because 99.99% of the worst case scenarios we imagine never happen.
I focused on the present
Since I wasn’t living in the past, or worrying about the future, it freed me up to focus on the present. What could I do today that would move me a little bit closer to the results I wanted? Even if I did just one small thing, it was better than doing nothing.
I ditched the excuses
The old Tetra would be making excuses after excuses for just about anything. I’d slap her if I could just so she’d shut up. Because I decided to take 100% responsibility for everything in my life, that means stopping the excuses. It’s much easier to place blame on someone or something, but if we really look deep into the situation, the blame does rest with us.
I believe that the best years are still ahead of me
When I turned 30, I wanted the next 10 years to be the best years of my life so far. Honestly the bar was set pretty low because my 20’s didn’t turn out as I had hoped. I had to understand that I wasn’t too old to do great things in life.
I stopped waiting for a miracle
I stopped waiting for something miraculous to happen that would change my life. I hoped and I dreamt about it all the time while taking no action, thinking about how much my life sucked, and watching lots of TV. I never got what I was waiting for so I had to stop this belief.
I learned to like myself
I thought this is what I’ve got and this is what I’ve got to work with. No need to put myself down or doubt what I could do. If I didn’t like myself, then no one else would.
I stopped feeling sorry for myself
I needed to suck it up because no one cared that I felt sorry for myself. I could cry in my house all day long wondering why my life sucked so bad. Guess what? No one cares. If I wanted to walk around looking and feeling sad, it wasn’t going to help me. No one was going to come save me. People have so many of their own problems to worry about.
This time last year I was a 35 year old, unemployed, recovering alcoholic still living with my parents.
Now I am an employed, recovering alcoholic, living in a rented house in town. (Although I have gone to stay with my parents for a break as I had some annual leave to use up and it is nice to get out of the city!)
I finally have direction in my life. I feel excited about my future. I’ve had some great success. And while that has been hard, it has also been a reminder that I should never waste a moment of my time worrying about something as amazing as growing older.
Because age is something we earn. And we should celebrate it every year. And that is why, as I creep closer to my birthday tomorrow, I have one thing to say:
“Bring it on, 36. I’m excited to see you and I can’t wait to be a part of what you and I accomplish before 37 kicks you out.”
Blessings.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Happy Birthday Tetra 
It's been great to watch you grow and blossom and before more comfortable with yourself
For what it's worth I was still drinking at 36.,..took me until nearly 40 to change my life, but the years since then have been great fun.
I've learned never to think this is it...something else always opens up
I hope you'll find the same
D
It's been great to watch you grow and blossom and before more comfortable with yourself
For what it's worth I was still drinking at 36.,..took me until nearly 40 to change my life, but the years since then have been great fun.
I've learned never to think this is it...something else always opens up
I hope you'll find the same
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Happy happy 36 tomorrow Tetra!!! From one October baby to another.
Thank you for this fabulous post.
My 33rd birthday is the day after yours.
I'm going to print this up and put it in a card and give it to myself.
I hate my birthday.
But.
This will be the first birthday in years that I can remember that I will be totally sober (last year I had my first two- of a dip back into a deep relapse)
I spent my 30th birthday stepping into full blown alcoholism in Vegas.
So, I'm going to print up your post and give it to myself as a reminder and a smile for myself.
So Tetra, I will be thinking of you and sending you warm birthday wishes and heart hugs. And the day after I will be sending you smiles of gratitude.
Happy birthday again... and thank you
I hope you have such a wonderful day.
Thank you for this fabulous post.
My 33rd birthday is the day after yours.
I'm going to print this up and put it in a card and give it to myself.
I hate my birthday.
But.
This will be the first birthday in years that I can remember that I will be totally sober (last year I had my first two- of a dip back into a deep relapse)
I spent my 30th birthday stepping into full blown alcoholism in Vegas.
So, I'm going to print up your post and give it to myself as a reminder and a smile for myself.
So Tetra, I will be thinking of you and sending you warm birthday wishes and heart hugs. And the day after I will be sending you smiles of gratitude.
Happy birthday again... and thank you
I hope you have such a wonderful day.
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