SusieJ

Hi, Is it normal to push loved ones away when in rehab no matter what the AH has done to them. Lies deceit infidelity and betrayal that's what my AH has done but doesn't want to speak to me.

Thoughts would be appreciated.

AnvilheadII

you have asked this question a few times now......

i guess i'd ask, with the litany of his crimes - why is this bothering you so much?

PurpleKnight

For me my initial period of recovery was a very tough time, I didn't go into rehab but for a few months I did nothing other than go to work and take all steps necessary to not drink and make Sobriety stick, and quickly I learned this wasn't going to be like flicking a switch, this was a real addiction that I was dealing with and it was going to take everything I had.

For many weeks I was exhausted, physically, mentally and emotionally, and talked to very few people, didn't go anywhere, simply work, home, bed and repeat.

So with that in mind it may be a case that he is focused on making his recovery work, and doesn't want to or simply can't focus on anything else right now, I wouldn't take it personally in the short term, he needs all his energy to sort his own life out, and that's a good thing that he's taking those steps.

It was only after I made my recovery stick, that I started to deal with the other areas of my life, those mistakes I had made, the people I needed to make amends with, and all the other things my addiction had dug me into.

I know that's not an ideal answer, but there will be plenty of time for sorting things out when he finally emerges with his addiction behind him, recovery is a marathon and not a sprint.

You'll find loads of support here on SR and there is also Al-anon, which is great for face to face support!!

teaorcoffee

I know that I'm not ready to go round making promises to family and friends until I can prove to myself that I'm capable of staying sober.
That could be a reason, but only the person themselves can say what's going on in their heads. What's normal? I think it depends on the person.

madgirl

Perhaps give yourself permission to enjoy the space apart from someone who has hurt you terribly. We cannot force anyone else to be anything else, even if they made a legal promise. Peace to you.

Forward12

I think it's pretty clear to say your husband has lost interest in you, and his actions show that. I would personally move on rather than lingering on it.