MovingForward1

I've been drinking, switched from daily to these monstrous binges basically withdrawals being the only separation. I'm in charge of a child for a while and can't imagine going through withdrawals at this time, so I'm maintenance drinking. No, I'm not maintaining, I'm drinking... what am I thinking???? Over 20 years of daily drinking, I'm used to the withdrawal, though it is getting worse. Vomiting, shaking, can't really walk, how can I take care of this kid???? I can't. I have to drink through it.

Then I have to do something different. This can't be maintained. It's so much worse than it was even a year ago.

Let the judgements begin, I feel terrible about what I'm doing, I just don't know another answer right now.

Dee74

No judgement here

Have you considered what you might do to get out of this? AA or some other meeting based recovery group, seeing your Dr or a counsellor, inpatient or outpatient rehab?

D

D122y

Move,

You might consider 911...

Tell them the truth and maybe you can get the help you need.

The child would be cared for while you stabilize.

Thanks.

Chickenlady06

No judgement, i get the feeling. I grew up with a daily drinker dad, and he would seize really bad when he'd quit, so he would do the same maintenance drink so he could function. But of course it is not the answer. Do you have anyone to help you with the kid? Just to get you through the worst of it? You might be surprised of who will be willing to help if you're open and honest with them. You must do the safe thing for the kid, and that is not drinking. Keep us posted and I hope you find someone to help you.

Forward12

Being intoxicated while taking care of a child isn't a good idea. Is there someone else that can take care of them? If you can not stop on your own, inpatient rehab would be a good idea.

least

I hope you will get the help you need to stop drinking for good.

AnvilheadII

please call 911.....ask for help for yourself and your child. surrender, and let the healing begin.

MovingForward1

I know the right answers and they're all across these replies. It's arrogance and pride stopping me. How am I convincing myself this is ok?

ScottFromWI

You won't find judgement here MovingForeward, just experience, help and understanding. Sounds like you are at the point where you may need detox or some form of inpatient treatment if you literally cannot stop on your own. Also remember this isn't just about you. Please seek help before things happen that you can never undo.

Mklove

Just think about how great tomorrow will be, free of hangover, feeling powerful.

MovingForward1

I've burned so many bridges, 911 may be the only answer. Or the Ex. He'll take her away in a heartbeat.

Notimetoloose

MF, it is so good you are here posting... when we decide to make the change from drinking to sober and address our alcoholism our options tend to open up.
I understand your child can limit some options...Can you see your Doctor and let them know what's going on. Contact your local community centre or hospital and talk to the addiction team, ask for their support.
Call AA and let them know you are looking for help and support.
I am not AA but know that if you call them they could help.

MovingForward1

I'm pouring the rest out, see how I am in a few hours I guess

Notimetoloose

Stay safe MF, detox can be dangerous and safety needs to be a priority.
I am very proud of you for addressing your alcoholism.

ScottFromWI

Call of you have to. Being honest is one of the cornerstones of getting sober....especially with yourself. You need to be thinking about what you CAN do to quit drinking first and foremost. Worry about yourself and your safety ( and your child's ) and do whatever it takes to get better. Pouring out what you have is a great start...just be safe about it. .

MaidenNZ

How long will you be "in charge of a kid" for and did the people know you were a chronic alcoholic when they left him/her in your care?

Dee74

I'd think about the kid - they deserve the best care you can provide.
is there someone who can help there?

D

AnvilheadII

your child has NO choice.

but YOU do.

Forward12

It sounds like he should not to be harsh. You need to end your madness, if not for yourself, do it for your child.

ReadyAtLast

Hi MF

Sorry to hear you are in a bad way but well done on your decision to quit.

Is your ex perhaps already aware of the situation? Would he not be pleased you are quitting and getting help? If this isn't an option would he look after your child for a week or 2 perhaps? Whilst I don't usually suggest lying would he have your child if you are ill? If you say you are sick and don't want your child to catch it?

Or do you have family who could look after your child for a short time? How old is she? I have a young child and know how hard it is.

Depending on how old your child is depends on what's the best course of action. Please do get help now though before someone or some service intervenes.