Sober Fridays
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington State
Posts: 157
Sober Fridays
Sober Friday's were a really hard thing for me in the beginning of my sobriety (currently at 9 months 1 week); They've gotten easier each week.
Sober Friday today is a tough one. I work as a Physical Therapist Assistant and I just found out today that my favorite patient passed away yesterday. Granted, he was 97 and lived a great life but this is my first patient I've really felt super close with that I've lost.
Cried on my 45 minute commute home.
Went to my parents hoping to talk to them but they were going out to dinner. Once they left I stayed at their place for a bit.... Saw an unfinished martini that my mom had been drinking before they went out. I just sat at stared at it for a long time. I even bent over just to smell it. I just sat and started at it for a long time. Really wanting to drink it but knowing I wouldn't.
Left my parents house and came back to my apartment and made myself a cup of tea.
No temptations here.
I know I won't give in. But that darn desire is still there.
Especially on a night like tonight.
Friday night.
After losing someone.
So many emotions.
This has been the best part of sobriety for me though.
Finally allowing myself to feel.
To feel sad and be okay with it.
To not exactly know how I'm feeling
and be okay with it.
Thanks for listening..
Writing is such a good outlet for me and I journal all the time.
But it is nice sometimes to know you guys are all out there listening and going through similar struggles.
To anyone else struggling on this Friday night. Stay strong. We are here for you. We are in this together.
Sober Friday today is a tough one. I work as a Physical Therapist Assistant and I just found out today that my favorite patient passed away yesterday. Granted, he was 97 and lived a great life but this is my first patient I've really felt super close with that I've lost.
Cried on my 45 minute commute home.
Went to my parents hoping to talk to them but they were going out to dinner. Once they left I stayed at their place for a bit.... Saw an unfinished martini that my mom had been drinking before they went out. I just sat at stared at it for a long time. I even bent over just to smell it. I just sat and started at it for a long time. Really wanting to drink it but knowing I wouldn't.
Left my parents house and came back to my apartment and made myself a cup of tea.
No temptations here.
I know I won't give in. But that darn desire is still there.
Especially on a night like tonight.
Friday night.
After losing someone.
So many emotions.
This has been the best part of sobriety for me though.
Finally allowing myself to feel.
To feel sad and be okay with it.
To not exactly know how I'm feeling
and be okay with it.
Thanks for listening..
Writing is such a good outlet for me and I journal all the time.
But it is nice sometimes to know you guys are all out there listening and going through similar struggles.
To anyone else struggling on this Friday night. Stay strong. We are here for you. We are in this together.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,536
So beautifully put, Leasha. Yes, so important - allowing those feelings - after years of numbing ourselves & stifling our emotions.
It's lovely that you had a special relationship with your patient - I'm sure it meant so much to him to have your friendship.
I remember the first few weekends of being sober. I was so sorry for myself - so resentful. Like you, I found they got much easier over time. I'm glad you left that martini alone.
It's lovely that you had a special relationship with your patient - I'm sure it meant so much to him to have your friendship.
I remember the first few weekends of being sober. I was so sorry for myself - so resentful. Like you, I found they got much easier over time. I'm glad you left that martini alone.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,383
I'm sorry for your loss Leasha - but I'm so glad you stayed true to yourself.
Drinking was never coping for me - it was running away. I learned to cope with a whole lot of things - good bad and indifferent - sober.
D
Drinking was never coping for me - it was running away. I learned to cope with a whole lot of things - good bad and indifferent - sober.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
I'm sorry to hear that Leasha.
You're doing so very well. I'm so happy for you. You have a good heart, and a whole lot of life ahead of you. I'm so glad you are grabbing it with both hands (and legs!).
You're doing so very well. I'm so happy for you. You have a good heart, and a whole lot of life ahead of you. I'm so glad you are grabbing it with both hands (and legs!).
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington State
Posts: 157
Thanks for the support everyone.
Thought I would share this photo from my race this weekend.
This photo is a side by side of me running the Portland Marathon in 2015 and the Portland Marathon 2016 (yesterday).
Last year; Barley any training - all derailed because drinking was far more important. Drank before the race and drank a ton after the race. I finished the race last year but it took me 4 hours and 40 minutes to run 26.2 miles (42.2 km).
This year: Sober just over 9 months. Training is going well. Eating healthy. The hill that killed me last year was super easy this year. I cried at least 3x during the race as I was overcome with emotion at the difference a year has made. Finished the race in 3 hours 34 minutes. I beat last years time by OVER an hour!
Sobriety is the best thing that ever happened to me. Running is my new addiction; living healthy and happy is my new addiction.
Thought I would share this photo from my race this weekend.
This photo is a side by side of me running the Portland Marathon in 2015 and the Portland Marathon 2016 (yesterday).
Last year; Barley any training - all derailed because drinking was far more important. Drank before the race and drank a ton after the race. I finished the race last year but it took me 4 hours and 40 minutes to run 26.2 miles (42.2 km).
This year: Sober just over 9 months. Training is going well. Eating healthy. The hill that killed me last year was super easy this year. I cried at least 3x during the race as I was overcome with emotion at the difference a year has made. Finished the race in 3 hours 34 minutes. I beat last years time by OVER an hour!
Sobriety is the best thing that ever happened to me. Running is my new addiction; living healthy and happy is my new addiction.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
That's fantastic Leasha 
I am so sorry for your loss, but very proud and inspired by your progress.
I hope you feel immense pride in yourself.
I agree Fridays are hard... weekends are hard. Eventually they will just become normal for us. Good for you and all you've done and where you've come to so far.
I am so sorry for your loss, but very proud and inspired by your progress.
I hope you feel immense pride in yourself.
I agree Fridays are hard... weekends are hard. Eventually they will just become normal for us. Good for you and all you've done and where you've come to so far.
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